How to Keep a Man Interested Without Losing Your Pride

Relationships are so hard. You worry if you don’t have one, and when you do, you worry they will leave you.

The younger me used to believe a relationship was a guarantee to my happy ending. Now the old me don’t want anything that has a commitment in it. It seems like life without a relationship is so much easier.

As much as I like being without a partner, I still want to keep my boys when they are good to me.

Although mine is temporary keeps, for those of you who prefer being in a committed relationship, I will be sharing my top five secrets to keeping a man interested and worried about losing you.

If your man never experiences fear or worry of losing you, he will never fall in love with you. If he feels secure that you will always be there no matter how bad he treats you, he will not appreciate, value, and love you the way you deserve.

When you feel you are being taken for granted or he stops caring as he used to, here are some great tips to make him worry about losing you.

Stop complaining about his indifference

Communication is key to building relationships, but sometimes men don’t care when women speak up about their worries.

If you’ve tried talking to him about the changes in his behavior or actions and he still doesn’t make any amends, let it slide.

Don’t complain or make him see you as nagging when your man stops showing interest in you.

When you show him you don’t care, he will be worried you may have an interest in someone else and become more involved.

Focus on getting a hot body

Some women neglect their bodies when they stay in a relationship for so long. If you see yourself adding weight, now would be the time to shade that extra pound.

Men like their women looking sexy. I remember a friend of mine whose boyfriend literally made her strip naked so he would critic her body.

Let be clear, if your partner criticizes your body to demoralize you, leave him/her. You don’t deserve to hang with toxic human beings.

Working on your body should be something you do for yourself - to feel comfortable in your own skin and not to please someone else.

Focusing on yourself will be the perfect distraction if your man isn’t giving you the attention you want.

So join a fitness class. Commit to the workout routines and let him know this is important to you. If he still has any respect for you, he will help you achieve your goal. He will also know you will be more attractive to everyone, including other men.

Let your glamour radiate

You don’t have to wear a see-through dress to be glamorous. How you present yourself can make a man fall in love or out of love with you.

When you notice the vibe in your relationship is wearing off, go for a new look. A new haircut or color, a different fashion style, or makeup will bring out a unique personality in you.

When your man notices these changes, he will want to know why. He will question why it’s so important to you to look better. If your new appearance makes him jealous, that means he is worried your feelings for him have changed too.

If he feels threatened in the relationship, you can bet he will start doing things to secure your love and attention.

Re-engage with other people

I know most couples in love like to hang with the same circle, which is good. But when your man is paying less attention to your emotional needs, creating a different circle of friends will help you focus more on yourself.

This way, he will have less knowledge of your whereabouts. If he doesn’t know who you are spending time with, he will worry when you are not beside him.

Reconnect with the friends you had prior to meeting him or make new ones he doesn’t know of. Remember, men like independent women.

Make sure to keep your life busy. He needs to see you as a high-value woman with an exciting life who isn’t sitting around waiting for his phone calls.

He has to know that if he’s part of your life, it’s because you want him to be part of it, not because you need him to be. So when he calls you last minute to make plans, let him know you already have plans.

If he feels he can longer go out with you when he wants to or call you when it’s convenient for him, he will be forced to make you a priority.

Be willing to walk away

After doing steps one to four and he still doesn’t recognize your changes, now you have to worry. If a man cares about you, he should notice how different you are and want to talk about it.

If he’s not comfortable with these changes, he may object to them. This means he is jealous, which is a good thing. It will also make him become more loving and compassionate like he used to be.

When you finally get him to talk, let him know what you want and your expectations about the relationship. The point is to make him realize what an amazing woman he’s with.

Suppose he accepts to make mends, great. If not, be ready to walk away from him. You can’t lie to yourself or bargain that he will change or that things will get better in the future even when he isn’t the type of man you are looking for.

You must be willing to walk away from someone or something when it isn’t working out the way you want. You must let him feel that you aren’t ready to settle or tolerate any behavior of his that you don’t agree with.

For him to appreciate you, he needs to experience the fear of losing you. This fear will be greatly felt if you are at your best self because this type of fear springs from love.

So if he feels you are willing to walk away from something that isn’t right for you, he will immediately make a turnaround and be the man deserving of you.

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About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

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This article appeared on Medium.