The Boston Bruins in: "How to Blow a Historic Season in Just 14 Days"

You know, if there's one thing I can't stand in sports, it's undeserved crowning and chest-pounding. I've seen it a lot in sports, and the latest example was the Boston Bruins. Unlike the braggarts who pound their chests without any merit, when I'm wrong, I'm actually man enough to admit it. I actually had this team missing the playoffs, and all they did was win 65 games and rack up 135 points. That's all. It was just a record in both categories. No big deal. I can handle being wrong about that. What I can't handle is people jumping to conclusions and crowning this team as the best Bruins team of all time. I was even told that this year's team was as good as the 1980s Oilers.

The 1980s Oilers won Cups. Four of them, and a fifth one in 1990. But logic wasn't going to get in the way of a Bruins fan's delusions of grandeur. I simply said, "You can't say that until you win a Cup first." I was laughed at. I was generous, though. I didn't pick Boston to win the Cup, but I was generous. I said, "Second round exit."

I ended up being wrong about that, too, but ironically, I ended up being right all along about something I've said for the last three years: the Boston Bruins ARE NOT A DEEP TEAM!!! Seriously, Google the word "frauds"; you'll definitely see the Bruins logo. It's time for me to tear down the delusional statements I've either been told by Boston Bruins fans, or heard from talking heads.

Let's start with the obvious one.

"Linus Ullmark Should Run Away With the Vezina"

As a Colorado Avalanche fan, this pisses me off. Linus Ullmark is getting all of the pomp and circumstance despite the fact that the wins lead he has is shared with the Avs' Alexandar Georgiev. Here's the thing: Ullmark's started regularly before. This was Georgiev's first season as a regular starter. Also, I've seen Ullmark get shelled in games that Georgiev would get shutouts in. And I know the playoffs aren't part of the Vezina voting, but...look who Ullmark lost to. Ullmark lost to the Florida Panthers...a dead Florida Panthers team. That team is Matthew Tkachuk carrying a lot of flotsam and jetsam the entire season. Yet despite this, Ullmark gave up 20 total goals to a one-man team!!! Six of them were in Game Six, and again, even though the playoffs aren't a factor, I literally said, "Ullmark is showing why Georgiev should win the Vezina."

Jeremy Swayman started Game Seven, and yeah, he lost that game, but do not blame him. If Ullmark didn't leave his talent in Buffalo, Game Seven wouldn't have even happened.

"Montgomery is a Better Coach than Cassidy"

I was surprised when Boston fired Bruce Cassidy as head coach, and even more surprised when they hired Jim Montgomery. We all know why he was out of Dallas, I'm not going to dwell on that. But come on. Cassidy was not the problem. Cassidy wasn't the reason why the Bruins were sputtering for the previous two years. Yet I was told that Montgomery's a better coach than Cassidy. Bruce Cassidy got the Bruins to the Cup Final in 2019, they were one win away from winning the whole thing. Also, look what Cassidy's doing in Vegas! But I was told that "Cassidy sucked." Yeah, OK. Cassidy's in Round 2. Montgomery isn't. So there's that.

Finally, while the Ullmark delusion is the biggest lie, this one is the most stupefying.

"The Panthers are a Good Team"

People are actually saying that the Panthers are a good team. No. No, they're not. The Panthers are a glorified AHL team. They are an absolute far cry from that team who won the Presidents' Trophy a year prior. Matthew Tkachuk carried this team on his back for the entire season. Look at the stats! 100 points for Tkachuk, while no one else reached 80 points. That's a good team?! Not even close. A real team would have swept the Panthers. The Boston Bruins are not a real team. The Panthers will face a real team in Round 2.

There's only one thing worse than losing to a glorified AHL team in the playoffs. Blowing a 3-1 series lead to said untalented team. Amazing how biased some hockey fans and "experts" are. The Leafs got laughed at for blowing 3-1 to the Canadiens in 2021, dismissing that team as "trash" even though they went all the way to the Cup Final. Yet Boston blows 3-1 to a much worse team, and it's, "The Panthers are really good." No. The 2021 Canadiens would blow this year's Panthers out completely.

Oh, this looks too, too familiar. It's been said that longtime captain Patrice Bergeron could call it a career after this season, and shame on the Bruins for wasting what could be his last year in the league by choking against a team that even the South Carolina Stingrays could beat. After the Game 7 loss, we see Bergeron and longtime linemate Brad Marchand in an emotional hug. This, to me, is the NHL equivalent of Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb walking off together after being eliminated in the Green Bay Packers' season finale. And we all know how that ended.

In closing, the Presidents' Trophy claims yet another victim in such grand fashion. Another record setting team bites the dust in the first round, and yes, even though the 2019 Tampa Bay Lightning were swept, this was worse, because that Jackets team was better than this year's Panthers team. The Bruins now join not only that Lightning team, but also the 2001 Seattle Mariners, the 73-win Golden State Warriors, the 16-0 New England Patriots, the 2021 San Francisco Giants, and the 2019 and 2022 Los Angeles Dodgers in an embarrassing list of teams who had historic seasons, yet fizzled out. This offseason will be an amazing one for Boston.

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