(Re)name that Team

At the rate we’re going, the Miami Dolphins will be the only sports franchise with a name that doesn’t offend anyone. In the four major American sports (that don’t require gasoline), basketball, baseball, football, and hockey, they have been accused of insensitivity because of their names.

Already, the Washington Football Team, formerly known as the Washington Redskins, is trying to find a zingier, less vanilla title for their club. The Cleveland Indians wanted to re-christen themselves the Guardians, but didn’t do due diligence and didn’t realize there was a roller derby team in the same city with the same name and a registered trademark. Then there’s the Atlanta Braves head office that is in talks with altering the title of the club.

But what about teams with names that are obviously offensive, but seemingly hiding in plain sight? Take for instance the Pittsburgh Pirates. Nothing wrong here, right? Hell, there’s a Disney ride and multi-billion-dollar film franchise owned by the Mickey Mouse company all based on the celebration of piracy. Why isn’t the word “Pirate” offensive? Consider the history; centuries-worth of raping, killing, and plundering, all overlooked today for fun and profit.

More recently, modern-day pirates off the coast of Somalia have taken control of Maersk ships, without anyone in Pittsburgh or elsewhere batting an eyelash. Imagine a baseball team called the Delaware Terrorists, with the image of Mohammad Atta as the team mascot, and logo. Would anyone be offended by that?

Getting back to football, let’s consider America’s Team, the Dallas Cowboys; isn’t this name a pejorative? According to the Journal of African-American History, white cattle owners called other white employees “cow hands” and pejoratively called blacks “cow boys.” In time, the term would be applied to anyone working with cattle. Still, the name relates to the Spanish term “vaquero” which means the same thing. So should the five-time-championship-winning club get a name change too?

What about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? Or the Las Vegas Raiders? Or the Minnesota Vikings? They’re just as bad as the Pirates. They all recall the same ugly past.

It’s not just football and baseball. Hockey and basketball teams have questionable or controversial names, too. For instance, the “woke” crowd must be stomping their feet, not at a made three-pointer, but at the fact that Philadelphia has a team called the 76ers, after the 1776 birth of this nation. Is the team prepared to cave to the vicious protestors, to have the team retitled 19ers in reference to the 1619 arrival of the first African slaves in America? What about the Sacramento Kings? When and where has a king ever been a part of the formation, maturation, and ideal of this country? This same sentiment goes for hockey with the Los Angeles Kings. Where has America ever adored a king enough to have a team representing an oppressive figure? The Golden State Warriors could offend combat veterans since they’re the real war fighters, not just a bunch of prima donnas passing around a ball.

Past name changes reflected the times. The Washington Bullets, for example, changed their name during the Crack Era in the mid 90’s, and possibly a close friend to the owner’s death, where actual bullets flew like birds in the capital of America and Tel Aviv, Israel. That’s at least understandable. With examples like this, certain ways for teams to switch names should pertain to the climate of serious deaths and wounds, not just name-calling.

Professional sports should be clean, pleasurable fun for the viewer or spectator. For the athlete, it should be a means to make tons of cash, develop talents, and enjoy earning awards and winning titles. The last thing on anyone’s mind should be the retooling of a sports franchise’s title without good reason. In America, it is apparent freedom of speech that should be unadulterated. In instances like woke factions seeking to change names, they should have a seat, lay down, and go back to sleep.