NFL Week 5 Recap: Popping the Champagne Early

It's always fun when a league enters a new month. MLB in October means postseason and the road to a championship. October means the beginning in the NBA and NHL. Even in the Canadian Football League, October is the home stretch. In the NFL, October starts the end of the "it's early" talks. While it's still too early to panic, it's a tad too late to take things for granted. Don't believe me? Ask the Buffalo Bills and the Philadelphia Eagles.

The Bills and Eagles entered Week 5 as the only unbeaten teams left. The Eagles were at home during Sunday's early window against the Denver Broncos. Philly was up big, but that changed in the fourth. Broncos scored 18 unanswered, but Philly still had one last chance. The Hail Mary pass in the end zone was deflected... by A.J. Brown. The Broncos won 21-17, handing Philly their first loss of the season. This was the first game after reported complaints from A.J. Brown and Devonta Smith about not getting the ball. They weren't, but they were winning, until that game. Oh boy.

So the Bills were the last undefeated team standing entering their Sunday Night Football contest against the New England Patriots. This was the game I dreaded since I learned about the schedule. "No one wants this bloodbath on national TV," I thought. When the Patriots had that convincing win a week prior, I started to realize that the game would be a bit better but the Bills would still win it. The latter didn't happen either. Buffalo committed three turnovers, Stefon Diggs (10 receptions for 146 yards) made Buffalo again regret letting him go, and the Patriots actually won, 23-20! Wow!

You know what that means:

For the 53rd straight season, the surviving members of that 1972 Dolphins team get to pop the champagne. I learned over 25 years ago that it's a running tradition/joke that when the moment comes that the last remaining undefeated team loses, the '72 Dolphins get together and pop the champagne, celebrating that they will remain the only perfect team in NFL history. The 1972 Dolphins ran the table: 14 regular season games, the Divisional Playoff, the AFC Championship, and Super Bowl VII. 17 games played, 17 games won, no losses, no ties. We are only five weeks through this season, and there are no unbeaten teams left. That is tied with the 2010 and 2014 seasons for the earliest point without an unbeaten team following the '72 Dolphins season. If you're counting the entire Super Bowl era, only 1970 (the first season after the merger) had an earlier point--there were no unbeatens after four weeks.

I have never seen a team win so much on a week that they weren't playing in. Week 5 was the Steelers' bye, but what went on in the rest of the AFC North? The Browns lost in London, because of course they did (not one word!). The Bengals were blasted during Sunday's late window, and the Ravens were eviscerated at home by a Texans team with problems, because their meal ticket, Lamar Jackson, was injured. Congratulations, Steelers. You guys are going to win the AFC North by default. The rest of the division is either dealing with devastating injuries to top players, tripping all over themselves, or--in the case of the Ravens--both. The Browns are still a comedy show, the Bengals are grade-A fucked, and by the time Lamar gets back, the Ravens will most likely be 1-5. All Pittsburgh has to do is play the vulture role: just pick the bones.

Prior to this, Week 5 began with the San Francisco 49ers against the Los Angeles Rams, and the Niners started Mac Jones, because Purdy was out again. I and anyone else watching figured that this was the week that SF's luck would run out. It's the Rams, a strong team, a big division rival, it's at SoFi. That's it, Rams win, right? Well, the game ended up in OT tied at 23. SF won the toss, had to settle for three. Rams got down the field, and had 4th and 1 deep in the red zone. It would be a tie game, right? Right, McVay?

McVay decided to go for it; had three chances to change his mind, didn't, and Kyren Williams was stopped short. Niners win 26-23 in OT over the Rams on the road, while still being injured to all hell. This proves two things: one, Brock Purdy sucks. I've seen Purdy lose to teams much worse than the Rams, yet Jones won a SoFi. And two, this proves what I've been screaming for years about the Ravens: Lamar is the damn team. I don't ever want to hear that bullshit lie from Bills fans and people who hate Black QBs (though in some cases, they may be one in the same) ever again: that Lamar has "all this help around him." "Lamar has sooo many good players around him," they lie. That exact "good" supporting cast was out there on Sunday. The only one who wasn't? Lamar. What happened? I rest my case.

The rest of the early window saw the New Orleans Saints pick up their first win of the season, defeating the New York Giants. Elsewhere, the Colts blasted the Raiders, though the game only made headlines because Mark Sanchez was too busy getting drunk and attacking 69-year-old men to focus on calling that game. The centerpiece of the early window was the public demise of a pair of AFC East teams. The Dolphins were in Charlotte against the Panthers, and had a 17-0 lead, but that evaporated so so fast. Panthers came back and won it, 27-24, and elsewhere, the New York Jets were blasted by the Dallas Cowboys. So the Dolphins are now 1-4, while the Jets are still looking for a win. Oh boy.

The late window saw a huge battle between the Buccaneers and Seahawks that had this fantasy owner happy that I picked up Sam Darnold for that week. A 38-35 victory for the Bucs, while the Commanders won over the Chargers at SoFi, so both LA teams lost at home. The real kicker was the game between the Cardinals and the immensely hapless Titans. Cards had it won. Then a touchdown was fumbled due to cockiness (seriously, what is up with these idiot players dropping the ball before crossing that goal line?), and an interception was fumbled and turned into a Titans touchdown. What started as at 21-6 Cards lead became a 21-19 lead, and in the end, Tennessee won it with a last second field goal. The Tennessee Titans, who have been making this year's Jets look like the 1968 team, acually won a game in 2025, snapping a 10-game losing streak dating back to last November.

Monday Night Football gave us this battle between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Jacksonville Jaguars, with both teams looking to prove something. KC looked to show that they really are back, while the Jags were looking to prove that they were for real. It was back and forth, and we actually saw the Jags intercept Mahomes and return it 99 yards all the way! Jags were down 28-24 late, but they moved down the field and Trevor Lawrence managed to run it in even after tripping and falling! Jags took the lead, held on the rest of the way. 31-28 was the final score. The Jags are 4-1 to start this season. Let that sink in. Also, with this result, everyone in the usually trainwreck-ish AFC South won in Week 5. WOW!

Week 6 will kick off with an NFC East battle between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New York Giants on Thursday Night Football. We will get another international game this week, this time it's the New York Jets and the Denver Broncos hitting London. On Sunday Night Football, the Kansas City Chiefs will host the Detroit Lions, and we'll see two Monday games: Buffalo Bills @ Atlanta Falcons, and Chicago Bears @ Washington Commanders.

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