We Need to Talk About Money

There is a stigma for people not well off when it comes to talking about money. It’s okay for millionaires to brag about what they’ve got, but if a poor person – relative to first world standards – discusses their bank account, they are met with judgement and unwarranted advice on how to not be poor.

Now, there are many reasons that can lead to people having poor finances and believe it or not, there are success people who appear to have everything, but they are in ruins financially.

The need to appear well off is something that can be detrimental to money management and it’s clear from the array of financial situations I have been in personally and know other people to be in that we really need to discuss money management from a young age and implement tools for people to better manage, because none of us are immune from potential financial ruin. Also, I personally think if you are able to manage your finances well when you have very little, you will be better able to handle larger sums of money – of course that is not full proof for everyone.

Personally, I wish I had learned effective money management and had talks to various people in order to help me better budget, throughout my university career I owed Santander overdraft money. After finishing my studies and living frugally – which wasn’t fun, especially when there was so much I wanted – I was able to earn through a combination of unreliable part-time jobs to get myself out of this constant state of owing

Although it wasn’t an ideal way to live, I am glad that I have had a journey which has taught me the value of money and the need to make smart decisions in order to better position myself in a world that revolves around money.

The Beginning?

I have been working since I was 16. As my primarily focus was education, because the end goal was University, I was only able to work part-time during summers. For three years in a row before I started university, I worked here and there in the hospitality industry.

When I got to university as a result of my student loan being so low, I had to also have employment in order to pay my rent, do my groceries and have a social life. However, at times this was tricky because the main thing you're at university to do with learn and having a work schedule as well as a university schedule doesn't always align.

But, this aspect of my life has been essential in allowing me to better understand my behaviours with money. For starters I learned that I was shit at saving, I was too impulsive with buying things and eventually that I actually don’t value things like I thought I did.

Pause…Rewind

For the purpose of context, we’ll rewind slightly to 2010. My banking history began at the tender age of 12. After a birthday party where my brother and I received quite significant sums of money our parents decided it was time to get us bank accounts, being that we were both in secondary school and that it would be important for us to learn how to manage money.

However, I didn't take this seriously at the time because I had no real expenses and the only things, I cared about were eating and buying weird trinkets online. With my weekly allowance meant for food and my bus pass and sometimes extra cash for chores such as washing my dad’s car, I thought I was balling.

If I wanted to do something I didn't really think about the practical or financial aspects of it, I just tended to do it. There was no voice in my head asking me why I wanted something, the value of it within my life and what it would mean. I was just a teen and owning things made me feel rich, but in reality, I owned a bunch of worthless things, it’s not something I knew then, but as time would go by, I would realise it.

My relationship with money underwent real change when I received the letter from SFE letting me know that my student loan was going to be lower that the accommodation I had booked for halls. Now that’s when I truly panicked. The sums of money I had wasted buying random trinkets throughout my teens flashed before my eyes.

I talked with my parents because I was distressed and they told me not to worry as they would cover the extra and give me a weekly allowance in the my first year like they’d done for my brother, but because of their own bills and expenses to focus on, I would have to find a job eventually. That was an agreement I was fine with and I trotted into my first year of university a bit more relaxed.

Now this is where the financial decisions get wild and my poor money management steals the show.

Going into university, my parents told me to 1) try find a job as soon as possible and 2) don’t go into the overdraft provided by your student account. Now I managed number 1 within seven months and avoided number 2 for seven days. Yeah, poor effort kid.

In the first week I got a bit excited with the nights out and being able to buy my own grocery that I went a little into my overdraft. It was only £50, but it was the beginning to a slippery slope.

The student approach to overdraft is not healthy whatsoever, because it seems like everyone has begun to eat into their overdraft, you feel like it’s okay to do the same, but it’s really not. With no previous savings and a weekly allowance, I was moving like I was balling all because I didn’t want to miss out and I just wanted to fit in, but I was digging myself a hole.

Fortunately, the breakthrough came when I got a job and I had income to match my outcome, so by the time summer came, overdraft was a nightmare I’d woken up from. However, because I was doing better financially it meant I was on my own. My parents are very loving and supportive, they have worked very hard in my lifetime and tried their best to provide us with the best opportunities, I’m very grateful for all their financial help and completely understand why they handed the financial reigns to me, but I definitely wasn’t ready.

To practise financial responsibility, when we never actually talked about money mean that there were a lot of mistakes ahead of me.

Being fully responsible for my rent, bills, groceries and other living expenses was the norm for the rest of my university career. Whenever the first chunk of rent was paid, I’d feel the effects by slipping back into overdraft. Then the first work cheque would come in and I’d wiggle out. This became a dance for me as my logic was not to try saving, skimming and cutting from my expenses, it was that well you’ll get paid and get out of it eventually.

But you can’t always be in control with how much work you get or your schedule, you’ll experience financial earnings peaks and troughs and your plan to get out is not always full proof. This meant that in my summers I had to work so that I could start the year financially sound again.

What I Learned from It All

I think that talking about money is something that everyone should do. Not with the hopes of feeling superior to others or the fear of feeling inferior; it should be about having open and honest dialogue that allows us to make better decisions and accept the decisions of others from a place of understanding.

On the wider scale it is important that once we start introducing the concept of money into the lives of young people that there is a varied education provided that concerns budgets, bank statements, credit cards, loans, interest, vouchers, discounts, loyalty cards and points, assets, possessions and legal hustles and grinds outside of traditional work that can allow people to earn more on the side.

Things like financial anxiety are real. Too many people are underpaid and overworked. We live in a society governed by money at the end of the day.

The value of financially stability and sensibility is now more important than ever, so let’s give the upcoming generations the essential skills that make financial independence a greater possibility in their lives – even if you think your family will never have to worry about money, it’s an important lesson to learn.

I understand how privileged I am that this is my story, a tale of bad mistakes that I could recover from and an environment that means I don’t truly struggle like others do continuously in their lives. I am grateful and I am happy to have learned.