A Marriage Blessing (II)

There is a reason that all fairy tales end with weddings.

Many believe it is because married life is too mundane to be exciting;

Others believe it is because once you are married, life as you know it ends.

There is perhaps a third less explored option.

Romance is generally described by poets as an all-consuming fire that scorches those who dare to play,

It is explained by psychiatrists as a legitimate madness, a passion of the spirit that is so consuming one can’t help but go insane.

Humanity has pondered the effects of romance, passion, and love for centuries.

They have shared stories of love so powerful that it leads straight to the rite of the isle.

Marriage is seen as the culmination of the hunt, the battle that has been won.

You made it, you are getting married.

As you both solemnly walk down the aisle dressed in the trappings of society’s cultural expectations, romance and passion seem to fade slowly into the rolling credits at the end of the perfect wide-angled shot.

It appears your wedding is the end of your story.

Only we know that can’t be right.

Despite our early programming at the pens of Grimm, Anderson, and Disney, we innately know that there has to be more…

—doesn’t there?

The sentence can’t end with “I do.”

There is a subject and there is an action, but the idea remains incomplete.

Perhaps there is another reason fairytales end at weddings. Perhaps marriage is left untouched by poets and misunderstood by psychiatrists

because it is impossible to put into words what a marriage looks like for everyone.

Perhaps everyone’s marriage develops a unique rhythm of its own.

A soft beating of a drum that only two can hear.

A rhythm whose repetition allows both the comfort and safety you both need to become the individuals you always envisioned yourselves capable of being.

Hopefully, marriage allows you to live a life that full of love and prosperity that lasts well beyond the Disney honeymoon.

To find the stability, comfort, and support in each other that you need to conquer your greatest fears.

A reminder of that original moment when your hearts first stopped:

the moment when your subconscious knew what it was that it wanted,

and your soul understood what it was you needed to survive.

It is, after all, this primal recognition which brings you to this point in time.

The initial spark that burned so fiercely at first now softly sputters as the newly lit flame of your unity candle.

Together you all claim the light as your own. You both declare to consider, protect, help, love, and champion someone other than yourselves.

This commitment is not always glamorous, and it is not always easy.

You will see and be ugly, and you will see and experience doubt. The nights will be dark.

You will feel even more vulnerable during these moments of weakness

because you are sharing them with someone else outside of yourself.

Perhaps this vulnerability is ultimately the most beautiful aspect of marriage.

Your marriage will allow you to crawl into bed at the end of a very long day and understand that you are truly home.

The flame will steadily glow until the light of a new dawn restores your faith in a life outside of your home. One that no longer seems as scary because you now have a safe space—A place to escape the madness.

The home’s hearth has never been as exciting as passion’s inferno.

To burn down the world is easy. To capture the flame and hold it in the palm of your hand, to contain it for any amount of time, to feed and nourish it so that it doesn’t slowly dimish and sputter out…

That is the true miracle.

The hearth is a rarity to be cherished. The heart off your new home together.

Surrounded by constant warmth and light, you will finally comprehend what it means to be at peace.

What it is like to return to the warm embrace of your home after a day out in the cold, harsh reality of this world.

You will know that no matter how many tears you shed there will always be someone there to kiss them away.

There will be arms there to embrace you,

another soul to soothe you.

You are after all married now…

You said, "I do!"

And you would have it no other way.