To the College Girl Dating a Military Man

We Marine Corps girlfriends have been lying to you. We tell you that while our recruit is in boot camp it gets easier. That’s not true. It never gets easier. You learn how to cope with how you are feeling, but it does not get easier.

My recruit left in the middle of October. It was very hard at first until I learned how to cope with my emotions. The hardest thing about your recruit going through boot camp is communication. In the Marine Corps, cell phones do not exist to recruits. If your recruit would like to talk to you, they have to write you a letter. On RARE occasions, their drill instructors MIGHT let them call home for five minutes from a phone provided for them. You usually don’t hear from them over the phone. When their ship date arrives and they say goodbye to everyone, they give their phone to their parents or whoever is there with them. Once they reach their destination, they get a phone call home telling their parents that they have made it to their destination. Now, do not think this is a nice conversation. This is a conversation that is already made up for them. They read exactly what they are supposed to say off a piece of paper in front of them, except they aren’t talking softly. They are most likely yelling. Why? It’s boot camp. They yell every day they are there.

Letters. It takes a while for you to get their address. You are expected to get a letter from them in about two weeks. For me, I got a letter exactly three weeks after he left. Waiting for a letter is very hard to do. The first letter is always the best feeling; it’s the first time you get to hear from them, but you have to understand that the first letter might break your heart. Your recruit will probably tell you how much he misses you and loves you and how much he wants to come home. His letters to you are going to be different than his letters to his mom. Why? You’re his partner. It’s easy for him to open up to you. He is used to telling you things that he wouldn’t ever tell anyone else. Don’t be surprised if you get a letter saying he hates it there or he wants to come home. He will probably question why he is even there, but that’s normal. He is in a new place. He is being screamed at every minute of every day when he first arrives at boot camp.

When I got my first letter, my recruit told me about boot camp. He wasn’t very emotional in his letter. There were a few instances where he said he questioned why he was there and that he misses everyone, but that was all. Some of your recruits might do just that. Why? It’s who they are. Some may not have time to fully write how they feel. Now, on to the part that gets hard—waiting for the second letter. In my opinion, that is the most important letter. Why? They are used to where they are at by now, so this letter will be more about how they are feeling about you. It took me a month to get my second letter. I’m not going to lie, I questioned our relationship while waiting for my second letter. I questioned our relationship because I found out that his mom had gotten six letters, his best friend had gotten four and I had only gotten one. He had been gone almost two months. I struggled a lot. I thought our relationship was over because he wasn’t writing me anymore, but I was wrong. My letter took longer because he wrote my letter over a span of three weeks.

His mom had gotten another letter from him the night I got my second letter. She and I were on the phone so she could read me what his letter said. At this point in time, I thought about checking my mailbox just to see if I had gotten a letter. I had checked my mailbox everyday while I was at school since I got my first letter. It was very hard for me, looking into my mailbox everyday and not seeing a letter sitting there waiting for me to read. As his mom was finishing up the letter, I thought I would go and check my mail. She and I had gotten off the phone when I had gotten in the elevator to go downstairs. When I stepped off the elevator, there it was; a white envelope sitting in my mailbox, waiting for me. I wasn’t overly-excited about it, though. I thought our relationship was over because he was writing everyone else and not me, so when I saw this letter, I thought: This is the break-up letter.

When I got back to my dorm room, I opened the letter and instantly every sad feeling I had in my body went away. As I continued reading the letter, I realized that he had been writing this letter for three weeks, which explained why I hadn’t gotten one in so long. Something that is hard for us girls to understand is that they are busy. They are busy ALL the time and, as boot camp goes on, they get more busy. This means that the amount of letters you will get from them will decrease. It’s hard knowing that you won’t hear from them as often, but it makes those times that you do hear from them so much more special. Be patient. Always expect your recruit to write his mom more than you. If he is closer to another parent or family member, then always expect them to write them more.

It’s hard being a military girlfriend, but it is so worth it. Boot camp is only 13 weeks long. After 13 weeks, if you go to his graduation, you will see him. If you do not go, then you have to wait until he comes back home. But you know what the great thing about graduation is? He comes home for ten days after he graduates. If you are able to go to his graduation, go. It is an experience you will never forget and he will love having you there.

Stay faithful to him. Love him when he isn’t loving himself. Be proud of him, but most importantly, be his number one supporter. I would choose a military relationship over any other relationship any day. Why? Everything is better when you’re with someone in the military. It makes your time with that person so special. It allows for less arguments because your time is so limited. Military relationships are hard, but they are worth it in the end.

-Hannah