Single Parent Life

How many of you are single parents? How do you handle raising a child(ren) and working a full/part-time job by yourself? Some or most people don’t realize how hard it is being a single parent raising 1 or 2 kids by yourself and working a full/part-time job. I’ll tell you my experience as a single mom raising a kid while being on active duty in the Army.

When I found out that I was pregnant, I had so many emotions that day. People, that I work with were asking me, “Are you going to give up your child for adoption or keep your child after you have the baby?’’ I told them that I’m keeping my child because why would I give up my child for adoption. I was adopted and I’m not letting my child go through the same thing I did.

When I finally told my family, there were a lot of emotions and stuff that day but in the end, they still love me and my son. After I gave birth, it took some time to get used to things with the help of my sister, parents, and family members. It's frustrating but you have to remember to take time for yourself. I started going used to waking up in the middle of the night for feedings. It was hard for the first couple of months. Since being in the army, I had about 3 months of maternity leave from work.

By the time, I had to go back to work, it was hard finding a babysitter or getting a spot in daycare for my son. So, I had a friend come to watch my son while I go to work. After a certain amount of days, that person didn’t work out in watching my son. So, I had a friend help me find someone to watch my son while I figure things out. I went to daycare to see what was taking so long in putting my son in daycare. They told me that it was a waitlist that might take up to a year for him to get a spot. I told them that I’m a single mom and by the time you guys have a spot open for him, we’ll be gone.

I had a family watch him for two weeks and then another family watches him for a week or two. Then I got a babysitter to watch my son for a while until I heard something from daycare. Then I was talking to someone that I work with and they told me that they got a spot for their child for daycare and she was on the waitlist since January. I told her that I’ve been on the waitlist since last year. So I ended up practically calling the daycare center almost every day to see what was going on and where I was on the waitlist. I told them it was unfair how this person got a spot before me and their married but yet I’m a single mom.

I finally got a spot for my son at daycare. The people were wondering why it took so long for me to get a spot in daycare since I’m a single parent. Usually on the waitlist for daycare its single parents, dual military, and then military person but with a civilian family.

Being a single parent is hard because you are constantly worried about your kid(s), providing for them and being financially stable, and keep waking up in the middle of the night for feedings, putting them to sleep, and other things. It took me about a month or two to get the hang of things of being a single 1st-time mom and raising my son by myself. It gets tiring after a while since being in the military. You are constantly waking up in the middle night for your baby and then waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning to get ready for work and getting your kid(s) ready for school/daycare. Then coming home from a long day of work, picking up your baby and taking care of them, and then doing the same thing over and over again.

Being a single parent is rough sometimes. It’s like how I tell some people that I work with who are married and expecting a child. I tell them at least you are not a single parent and are about to raise a kid by yourself. Some people ask me how you do it as a single mom raising a baby by yourself while being in the military. I tell them it’s hard and stressful but, in the end, it’s worth it because of my son. It’s not an easy job doing it by yourself but in the end, all the struggles will pay off. I’m just doing what’s best for me and my son.