Losing My Dad

I remember like it was yesterday. It was a Friday and I had just dropped off my son at daycare because my unit had a training holiday. I just got home and went to my room to relax a little bit before I went to go run errands. My dad was in the back yard mowing the lawn and my mom went to go outside to check on my dad because she didn’t hear the lawnmower anymore. I went to the back to see if my parents needed anything before, I went to go run my errands. I saw my dad lying on his hip on the ground.

We got him to sit up, but he wanted to stand up. My mom and I got him to stand up, but he went right back to the ground. We tried giving him orange juice and something to eat but he just kept spitting it back out. Then he wanted us to put him in the chair, so we got him up and seated in the chair and then he fell back to the ground and started shaking. I started panicking and freaking out. My mom told me to call our cousin, so I did. My cousin told me to call 911. After I got off the phone with her, I called 911. Before my dad went unconscious, being a stubborn old man didn’t want us to call 911 but we had to.

My mom kept crying on the phone while talking to the dispatcher, while we were waiting for the paramedics. It was crazy and then I started talking to the dispatcher on the phone. The paramedics showed up and I showed them to the back yard where my dad was laying down. Then one of our neighbor’s came running down to the house to see what was going on. My brothers grew up with his son. We are pretty much like family. He was holding me while the paramedics were trying to get my dad conscious again. They said that he still had a faint pulse in his fingers. My cousin was with my mom just watching the paramedics as well.

They got my dad on the stretcher and put my dad in the ambulance. My cousin told my mom to get in the van and ride with her to the emergency room. I grabbed the car keys and drive the car to the emergency room. When we got there, we were put in the waiting room to see if my dad became conscious or if he passed away. I texted my siblings to keep them updated about dad. My cousin called the missionaries to meet us at the hospital and they were with us while we were waiting for the news. All my siblings kept texting me or calling me about what is going on or what happened to dad.

Then we got the news from that my dad had passed away. That was when my heart broke into pieces. Just hearing that made me realize that he won’t be there to walk me down the aisle for when I get married and that he won’t be able to give me away. That’s when I texted everyone saying that dad had passed away. Pretty much everyone was in shock that dad had passed away. I called my sister and told her that dad had passed away. She was driving trying to get to the airport when I told her the news. She had to pull off to the side of the road. We got off the phone and I called and talked to her husband to let him know the news. One of my oldest siblings called and I put him on the speakerphone and held the phone close to my dad and my brother started crying, saying dad you weren’t supposed to go like this and missing him.

I called a friend that I went to high school and church with and told her the news. We were planning to practice our dances for a luau that we were going to have but once I told her the news everything changed, and she came to the hospital. She called and told her mom and told her what happened. I tried calling my other cousin, but she wasn’t picking up the phone, so my friend’s mom ended up calling her and telling her the news. I called a friend of the family and told him the news and he showed up at the hospital. I called a couple from church and they ended up coming to the hospital. My aunt who is a teacher at the high school that I graduated from came to the hospital. I called a friend of the family who we were pretty much like family. We were video chatting and I asked her if she was sitting down and she asked why. I told her to sit down and that’s when I told her the news that dad had passed away. She started crying and then told her husband.

Some people came from church to see my dad. My nephew and his dad came to see dad. They came and took my dad to the funeral home and that’s when word got out about dad passing where I live. In the town where I live, my dad got stationed and retired there. He never left and everyone pretty knew and love him. He was a caring and giving guy but stubborn as well. My mom went with my cousin to her house and I was getting ready to go pick up my son from daycare. Some of my dad’s coworkers from Auto Zone showed up and missed seeing him. I told them what happened, and they were sad. I told them that I was trying to get ahold of one of the old coworkers but that I didn’t have his number but somehow someone got ahold of him and he messaged me on Facebook and told me that he was sorry for my loss and was sad about hearing that my dad had passed away.

I miss my dad every single day. After he was buried, it still didn’t feel real. It felt like I was waiting for him to come home from vacation or after a long trip that he was on. Like a month later, I broke down at work towards the end of the day and my boss asked me what is wrong. I told her that it is finally hitting me that my dad is actually gone and that he is never actually coming back. It just hurts that he won’t be there to walk me down the aisle and give me away on my wedding day and that I will never get that father-daughter dance. I guess I got lucky that I and my son got to spend time with him before he passed away. I know he will always be with us and watching over me and my son.