Never Assume the Worst

I am currently in my first year on my first submarine. As some of you reading this might not be familiar with this rite of passage, I will explain it to you without telling too much. A submariner's first year is stressful and spent doing qualifications. Many do not make it past their first year.

So I had gone on a ride with another submarine since my permanent duty station is currently in dry docks in Washington for much needed maintenacne and repairs. During my ride I knocked out a great chunk of my Fish card and some of my at sea watch details. However I ran into the infamous qual blocking towards the end of my time with this other boat. Also that boat decided not to send back my qual cards. When I addressed my concerns I got told I was overreacting and that I needed to get out of my headspace.

I had already explained this to my Leading Petty Officer who was beyond understanding and was more frustrated with how I was treated rather than my return without Fish.

When I came back, I had to check in with a few people. My Captain was a little unimpressed, however I felt he had more important things to do than to listen to why I came back without Fish. However, I still had to chat with the Chief of the Boat (COB) and the Executive Officer (XO).

I went into each discussion figuring I was going to get a grilling as to why things weren't done. Regardless I went in telling the truth and keeping it to the facts. What I didn't plan on was the response I got from each of them.

The chat with my XO started off as planned: "Sir I regret to inform you I did not finish my Submarine qualification and I can explain if you require explanation." XO expressed concern and encouraged me to explain. So I told all. During this I noticed his demeanor changed. It went from an officer about to school a Sailor to a concerned leader wanting to fix a wrong. I informed him of the situation of my qual cards and offered to restart the cards. I politely reminded him I had none of this in writing and I understood that as far as the Navy was concerned if it wasn't in writing, it didn't happen. The XO looked perplexed and then quickly stated that he firmly believed that I was telling the truth and he had no reason to doubt me. He then began asking about how I was doing all work aside. A response I had not anticipated at all. At the conclusion of our chat, XO reassured me that he was going to initiate a report and start an investigation. He also reassured me that this would not be held against me in qualification process.

Next chat was with COB. Again, I went in with the opening script, save for swapping out Sir with COB. Except COB stopped me mid sentence. "I know what happened. Is there anything I can do to help you? How do you want me to handle this? What do you need from us to help you get to where you want to be despite the situation?"

I've been in the Navy 5 years. Previously I was Surface, working in Security Forces. I was at a command that seemed to do a lot of rug sweeping when it came to sexual harassment/bullying/hazing. When I mention these things, I'm not talking petty gossip or telling someone they look like crap in uniform (when they do), I'm not talking about critiquing someone's performance. I'm talking about things like repeated requests for dates, guys banging on my barracks door at night, making sexual comments to my face or within earshot, making sexist comments about my performance and publicly degrading me followed by pulling the rank card on me when I would attempt to assertively stand up for myself. When I would report it, it got swept under the rug. I got blamed for it. I even had a Chief tell me oh just go out with that guy once and maybe he'll leave you alone. This experience played a significant factor into why I left the Surface Fleet. With this paragraph I'm sure you might now have a better understanding of why I was so afraid of how my superiors would handle what felt to me to be a failure worth an admonishment at a minimum. So when I got the responses I got, you can understand why I felt overwhelmed at the empathy I received.

It's been over a month since then. I'm still working away on my Fish. I'm at about 90% done and just 3 months left till my deadline. My shipmates who are aware of what happened have been helping me. My Chain of Command is persistent in getting my qual cards back to me as well as looking into why the other boat didn't address the issues I brought to their attention. I may have shot myself in the foot for that but oh well. I know I did the right thing.

The takeaway from this for me is that I should never assume the worst when presenting a hardship and that just because previously I may have received less than ideal responses doesn't mean that someone in a supervisory positon over me will respond the same.