You Were Never Too Much—They Just Weren’t Ready for Your Light

Have you ever been told—directly or indirectly—that you were too much?

Too loud. Too emotional. Too opinionated. Too passionate. Too sensitive. Too intense. Too something.

I have. And for a long time, I believed it. I shrank. I softened my edges. I muted my opinions. I wore “chill” like armor. I confused shrinking for surviving.

But here's what I wish someone told me earlier: You were never too much. They just didn’t know how to hold what was sacred in you.

And your light? It was never the problem.

1. Being Called “Too Much” Was Code for “You Made Me Uncomfortable”

When I laughed too hard, it was “obnoxious.”

When I cried openly, it was “dramatic.”

When I stood up for myself, I was “difficult.”

When I loved deeply, I was “clingy.”

When I dreamed big, I was “delusional.”

But all of those “too much” labels had one thing in common: they weren’t about me—they were about the limitations of the person labeling me.

2. I Learned to Shrink Early

We learn early to fit in—especially if we’re girls, people-pleasers, or just sensitive souls. We pick up on cues:

• Don’t take up too much space.

• Don’t speak unless you’re asked.

• Don’t show emotions that make others uncomfortable.

• Don’t shine too brightly—it might make others squint.

And over time, we stop being fully ourselves. Not because we’re weak. But because we want to be loved.

3. But Shrinking Didn’t Save Me—It Silenced Me

I thought being “low-maintenance” made me lovable. That being agreeable made me safe. That dimming myself made me easier to keep.

But what it really did? It made me forget who I was.

And the love I got for being small? It never felt true. Because it wasn’t for the real me—it was for the version I filtered.

4. I Started Reclaiming the Parts I Was Told to Hide

I stopped apologizing for crying during movies. For raising my voice when something mattered. For dreaming out loud.

I began wearing bold colors again. Laughing loudly. Saying “I disagree” when I meant it.

It was scary. But it was also liberating.

Because every time I chose authenticity over acceptance, I got closer to my truth.

5. “Too Much” Is Often Just Unfiltered Brilliance

Here’s what I know now:

• “Too emotional” means deeply empathic.

• “Too intense” means passionate and driven.

• “Too sensitive” means beautifully attuned.

• “Too opinionated” means you think for yourself.

• “Too ambitious” means you dare to dream.

Your “too much” might just be your magic.

6. You Don’t Need to Shrink to Be Loved

The right people won’t ask you to be smaller. They won’t flinch at your bigness. They’ll see your fire and not fear being burned—but feel warmed by it.

Real love—romantic, platonic, professional—celebrates your fullness.

If someone walks away because of your intensity, let them.

You’re not for everyone. But you are for someone—and more importantly, you are for you.

7. Ways I Reclaimed My “Too Muchness”

• Spoke my truth, even when shaky: Built self-trust and clarity

• Dressed how I wanted, not to blend in: Reconnected with self-expression

• Said “no” without over-explaining: Honored my energy and space

• Let myself take up physical space: Released internalized shame

• Reached for big dreams: Refused to shrink for anyone’s comfort

8. If You’ve Ever Been Called “Too Much,” This Is for You

Let me say what you might not have heard:

• You’re not too loud—your voice matters.

• You’re not too emotional—your heart is awake.

• You’re not too needy—you just know what you need.

• You’re not too opinionated—you’ve earned your voice.

• You’re not too ambitious—you were never meant to play small.

You are not too much. You are just enough. And always have been.

Don’t let the world’s discomfort dictate your brightness. Don’t trade authenticity for approval. Don’t let love that requires shrinking convince you to stay small.

You weren’t made to blend in. You were made to beam.

And if someone calls you “too much,” smile softly and say,

“Maybe you’re just not ready for all this light.”

Then keep shining anyway.