You Have To Love Yourself Above All

If I had to guess I’d say more people hate themselves than love themselves.

Especially with social media addiction, which most of us have in some form or another.

You can admit it, it’s okay, I have it too.

I know Instagram makes me feel like the ugliest guy in the world but I know it’s all fake and edited.

But grandmother thinks I’m cute and that’s all that matters.

It’s really freaking hard to love yourself when you see the best of the best on Instagram, twenty-year-old millionaires on Twitter, and the highlight reels of everybody you know on Facebook.

It makes sense we think so little of ourselves.

"It never ceases to amaze me,we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."

— Marcus Aurelius

I love this quote.

It’s spot on!

We are more concerned with what others think about us than what we think about ourselves. This is backwards.

We need to be our biggest fans and supporters. We have to stop caring what other people think.

Easier said than done I know, but what really matters is what YOU think of YOU!

By acting in alignment with our morals and values, our opinions of ourselves will become more and more positive.

I’ve hated myself for so long that it’s sickening.

That’s because during my years of addiction, I was constantly behaving in ways that went against my morals and values.

This created an internal conflict that made me hate myself.

I just wasn’t living the way I was meant to.

I’m happy to say it’s changing.

By putting a lot of work into healing from trauma, depression, and addiction, I gained self-love as a byproduct.

However, it’s a long journey from hating yourself to loving yourself. It won’t happen overnight, and you’ll struggle, but you’ll get there with effort and consistency.

I found that helping others through sharing my stories, having chats, or just doing a favour for a friend, helps keep self-loathing at bay.

Everyone should volunteer somewhere. It’s so good for the soul and will help increase the love you have for yourself.

I applied at the local SPCA and am just waiting to hear back. If you read my articles you know how much I love dogs so this would be heaven for me.

We can’t depend on getting the love we need from others, it’s out of our control. If we’re lucky we have friends and parents who love us but everybody doesn't have that.

What we all do have is the ability to love ourselves and this can get us through the toughest times.

I met a friend in rehab, he taught me the lesson I mentioned above. When doing his amends, he didn’t get the responses he wanted and it crushed him.

He was looking for forgiveness and compassion from others who he wronged in some way during his addiction.

He said to me “You can’t depend on others for forgiveness or love. You can try and hope for it and you may very well receive it, but what will you do when you don’t?”

He continued “The secret is to love and forgive yourself for all your mistakes and flaws. We are the only people who have to live with ourselves twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, so we need to be kind to ourselves.”

This changed my perspective on self-love and self-compassion. Now I focus on creating a version of me that I can love.

I forgive myself for the past because at the time it was the best I could do.

If I could have done better I would have.

So focus on becoming someone you can love, everything you need in this life is already inside you.

I’m going to leave you with a quote by Bo Burnham from his song titled “From God’s Perspective.”

“My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn

And when you earn it, you won’t need it

I’m not gonna you love just ’cause I know that you want me to

If you want love then the love is gonna come from you”