Why Narcissists Constantly Need Validation

This has got something to do with the nature of falsehoods.

Falsehoods only align with its own compatible type of falsehoods.

Falsehoods do not align with truth or an incompatible falsehood.

But there’s more, falsehood cannot stand on its own, unlike truth.

Therefore falsehood inherently needs to spread itself by infecting others (i.e. you) to forcibly generate false validity.

For example, you know that things fall down because of gravity. That stands on its own. It does not need validation. Anything incompatible with that basic truth doesn’t bother you. Truth corresponds with reality. Reality itself provides the constant intrinsic validation for truth.

Falsehoods have no such constant bedrock to sit on. When a mind functions purely from falsehood, it needs continuous justifications to stay believed. It is constantly fighting evidence, constantly fighting reality itself, constantly fighting gravity. I’m sure you are familiar that whenever you confront or rebuke a narcissist to uncover their lies, they will spit out a stream of nonstop justifications, excuses, and ridiculous philosophies as well as other distractions. Narcissists will justify, justify, justify.

This happens because falsehoods inherently need justification, to fight gravity, to fight reality.

You do not justify gravity to a non-believer.

Justifications and falseness tend to go together. Falseness needs shared nonbelievers (the group around the narcissist). Truth does not.

A narcissist with lies in their mind would need constant justification for the lies. A lie that is not a shared belief with others is a very bad lie because it would be very obvious. Only when lies and falsehoods are propagated widely do they become powerful and ‘real’. The supply that narcissist needs also includes, in large part, constant validation of their falsehood.

And that’s what validation for the narcissist is.

Validation validates their falsehoods. It lends them validity. Their falsehoods feed on constant validation. Validation sustains their falsehoods and allows them to become even more epicly false.

The epic mindset is falsehood personified. Being epicly drunk is no different to being epicly false. There is no sober mindedness. There is no testing to verify truth.

8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Bible Gateway passage: 1 Peter 5:8 — New King James Version

Truth has no problem standing on its own.

Falsehood or lies have no basis in reality and are on constant death row of being discarded due to being incorrect or invalid. So validation provides the justifications for continuing their tenuous existence.

A good person will never tell you, ‘hey! I’m a good person!’, apropos of nothing.

But a narcissist will.

How many times have you encountered narcissists suddenly declaring these things (right out of the blue, not related to any previous topic)?

people say I’m a good person

I believe in honor

I believe in always telling the truth

people always tell me that I appear as a very trustworthy person

my friends all want to tell me their secrets, I must be a great listener

I have empathy!

I am a very honest person!

I am an extremely generous person!

I always help everyone in need!

This is called blowing their own trumpet. Anyone who finds excuses to blow their own trumpet, or to suddenly declare (apropos of nothing) their epicness is in great danger of being a narcissist.

But why do they do this?

Is it because narcissists like to boast?

Superficially, yes. But there is a deeper, darker reason.

Narcissists tend to be the opposite of what they declare. Because they are untruth itself, their minds are made of falsehood itself, what they declare will contradict who they actually are. (That makes them extremely easy to read actually)

So expect a narcissist who declared that ‘to me, being honest is the most important thing in the world!’ to tell a lie within the next 10 minutes.

Lies and falsehoods require constant validation.

You can liken anti-truth to entropy itself. It is continually decaying, eating away at its own existence.

A high entropy system continually needs fresh injection of low entropy to sustain itself. That describes the narcissist very well. A crazy, chaotic, ruinous system constantly needs to feed on fresh injections of sanity and empathy in order not to fully decay and collapse into a state of absolute mess.

A self-deceiving liar requires constant reassurance that they are not a liar.

Narcissists need constant validation to prove to themselves that they are not all sorts of negative things (when in fact, those negative things happen to be precisely who they are).

Allow me to paint a stark picture for you.

Imagine a narcissist in a room of ten people yelling loudly enough for everyone to hear, ‘Everybody loves me!’, only to be met with stunned, disbelieving, invalidating silence.

That’s a narcissist’s worst nightmare.

Having their lies and falsehoods invalidated causes narcissistic injury because it rubs in the truth all along that nothing good they believed about themselves was true.