Why Embracing Feeling Different will Lead you to your Tribe?

Being or Feeling different can be challenging, but trying to be ourselves in an environment where we are misunderstood is even harder. We may find it difficult to express ourselves without the fear of being judged, made feel like something wrong with us, being labeled or even rejected. It often starts from childhood, and for many of us, it gets carried on into adulthood. We fear to open-up to others, sometimes unconsciously or we do not know how to connect with others, leading to loneliness and a sense of not belonging. Furthermore, our behaviors and attitudes are so ingrained into the identity that we have come to accept for ourselves due to others perception and projection that we intentionally carry these unhealthy beliefs in our life. However, as we grow older, our life paths can diverge, friendships fade, and there comes a point where you realize you may no longer have a lot in common with those, we used to call home. It is then that we start to understand ourselves and who we want to be, carving our identity and ultimately leading to finding like-minded people.

As we embark on this journey, the first thing to understand is knowing that we have been living a lie and absorbing others fears and projections. It is the realization that all along, nothing wrong with us, we are not different, awkward or weird, but we just have not found our tribe yet. That is, the people who have similar interests, beliefs and values like us and who view life the same. We understand that the people around us may have our best interest at heart, but may unintentionally hinder our growth because of their own fears or insecurities. We start to seek more in life and feel the need to grow from limiting beliefs, as we start to embrace our individuality. When we start to connect with like-minded people in any way possible, we can learn to open to a new life. We no longer feel alone on your island, misunderstood or not belonging, and from that, life starts to have a whole new meaning. Because the reality is that with over billions of people in the world, there must be someone who will resonate with us, share our values and view life the same way.

Once we accept who we are and know what we are looking for, we learn to live more authentically, which leads to forging our own identity, away from the old us. For me, it was learning to accept my uniqueness among the people around me, family and friends, and accepting them for who they were. This led to focusing on strengthening my inner self, learning to be comfortable being myself, leading to building my self-esteem. I realized that I wanted to grow spiritually and gain a deeper understanding of life. As a result, I was seeking to connect with others with similar views, leading me to see that I was not alone in this journey. Just because those around me may not value spiritual grow or understand it, does not make it unimportant to me. The lack of outside validation does not invalidate my feelings and values. I understood that just because I feel different or have different values and beliefs from them, does not mean something wrong with either side, and that somewhere in the world, there are many others who I can resonate with. It was just a matter of finding and connecting with them. I learned that accepting others also means receiving them without judgment and allowing them to be themselves. It is like giving other permission, so they do the same for you. When I adopted this mindset, I saw a difference in how I interacted with others and how free I felt being myself and how peaceful I was. I become an observer rather than a judge in my life or that of others. It felt liberating.

By seeking to connect with others with similar interests, values and beliefs, we start to have a better understanding of our differences and uniqueness. This process allows us to grow as individuals, but also helps us to learn about humans in general, and how to better interact with them as needed. Quite often, we feel different because we have not defined and found who we are yet among others. Once we have learned and accepted who we are, we become receptive to people who are like us or we are different from us. We understand that the first step to finding like-minded people is learning to be comfortable with being ourselves and what we are looking for. Then the universe leads us to others with similar beliefs and values. We can take action to connect with people online or in person by finding communities that resonate with our view of life. For instance, I enjoy artistic creation, but for so long, I avoided to explore any creative endeavors because I was so worried about being judged as a time waster and unrealistic person, or an imposter, that I just kept suppressed those interests and possibly valuable skills. But, by connecting with others with similar interests and values through space like online communities, meetup group, X (formerly twitter) community, YouTube or in person, we feel seen and understood, and somehow validated.

While finding your tribe brings the feeling of belonging and being understood, we still need to be realistic about our expectations because the truth is our outside world reflects our inner world. To sustain and feel a sense of happiness or anything we may derive from those connections or communities is reciprocal to how we engage with others, and the efforts we put in our growth.

Feeling different and misunderstood, may start as difficult, but when we start to unfold ourselves, it becomes less challenging as we get to connect and learn from others, making the journey less lonely. There are billions of people in the world with the same or similar interests, beliefs and values, and they may be only one click or step away.