To Whom This May Concern

To whom this may concern.

Recently, you've been blagging my head by telling me I should be as slim as you, and that I should diet and use pills to get slim, fast.

You also told me that I need to be slim to be noticed, and that my 'jelly belly' will get me nowhere near where I want to be.

I've got something to say about that.

First of all, I want to be a singer. I don't want to be someone who wants to be slim just to get noticed; of course, not every woman wants this. Some women enjoy being slim, and some are into diet and fitness.

This does not mean that the world should be forcing every woman to look a certain way, just because they want to do something like sing and dance.

Secondly, I've had several children, and I fractured my pelvic bone during my last pregnancy. My stomach won't completely fix itself, and I do not have thousands to waste on a surgery that I feel is unnecessary.

We all come in different shapes and sizes, but who are you to judge who we are?

Everyone has things about themselves, they see as imperfect, but in a world where 'perfect' is the only vision we see on screen and in magazines, it feels good to embrace those imperfections.

I call it being human.

Singing is a talent.

It comes from using our voices.

One can be a good singer and dancer without having a perfectly shaped body.

There are a lot of people who are actors, actresses, singers, dancers, television presenters, and more who are very beautiful without being slim, and they do their jobs well.

What shows on the outside never represents what is on the inside.

It's time to look at charisma, talent, personality, and skill instead of basing everything on the way a person looks.

Let me tell you a true story

When I was at school, I was bullied for being sensitive and for wanting to sing and dance.

I was also bullied for my weight, whether I was skinny or whether I had some weight on me.

I was called names in class, in the playground, on the way home, and even when I wasn't at school.

Walking home turned into something I found terrifying and unsafe, because the people who bullied me in school would physically bully me on the way home.

I tried telling the teachers, but often, I found myself accused of doing the bullying when I tried standing up to these bullies.

The bullying carried on into my adulthood. I was bullied because I didn't conform to today's fashion standards, for singing everywhere I went, for being short, for not having enough or for having too much weight on me, and the bullying intensified when I fell pregnant.

Today, I am still bullied over the same things, and I'm often bullied for not being as slim as other people.

Only the other day, I was told,

"You'll never make it as a singer, because you're too fat."

Those statements nearly killed me in the past. They led to me not wanting to live.

I felt that I did not fit in, I was unworthy of a relationship, I was unworthy of love, I wasn't a likable person, and that I shouldn't choose singing as a career until I lost weight.

I tried to throw myself into a road, because I hated myself for being me.

I believed the only way to be loved or have talent was to be thin, and it has taken me over twenty plus, years to overcome it.

In truth, I'm not fully over it.

I can't see myself when I look good, no matter who says I do.

When I am told something good about myself, I will thank people for it, but I will never believe it.

When someone says I look good, or I am pretty, I struggle to think they mean it.

This is not me searching for attention.

This is me, revealing myself underneath the mask of confidence you see whn you come into contact with me in person.