There is No Such Thing as ‘High-Functioning Anxiety’

I have anxiety, but I love to socialise

I have anxiety, but I live independently

I have anxiety, but I achieved a first class university degree

Do these make me ‘high-functioning’?

High-functioning anxiety is not a recognised medical term but rather a catch-all phrase for people that live with anxiety, but seem to function reasonably well in life. I say 'seem' because this is judging from outward appearances such as always getting to work on time, being very organised or high-achieving.

I personally have always been a perfectionist and very driven. I will never miss a deadline and I don't mind asking for help if it means that I won't fall short on a task. My schedule is busy with social or work-related tasks or my own personal development. I work two jobs effectively and have multiple hobbies. These all make me 'high-functioning'. I have anxiety, yet I'm still functioning above average of others under similar conditions.

I am also always killing myself to excel at work for the fear of failure, having been made redundant in the past. Behind the deadline made a week early is a mountain of worry and sleepless nights to do so. I will try and fit every person into my social calendar for the fear of disappointing them if I don't. I would rather push myself at work that take a day off sick to not appear like I am slacking. There are days I want to do nothing, and think nothing from pure exhaustion. I burn out. A lot.

Although what people may see on the outside is something to envy, what use is being a functioning individual if you are screaming for help on the inside the whole time? We need to stop kidding ourselves that just because someone appears to have their shit together means that they actually do. If their life is still masked by overthinking, overperforming and overexerting then it is incredibly unhealthy and less likely that the person will realise they genuinely have a problem that needs to be addressed. After all, if your friend was a drug addict but incredibly successful, you would still be concerned about their substance abuse.

I believe that anxiety is anxiety, and using the term 'high-functioning' will always do more harm than good. Anxiety is soul-crushing and destroys your life. Just because I’m fine with leaving my house and going to a party doesn't mean I am ok with travelling long distances. It doesn’t make me ‘better’ than someone that can't leave their home. Anxiety will portray itself very differently amongst different people. Categorising some anxiety as 'better' than others is a step in the wrong direction, and makes people more likely to overlook damaging symptoms.

People suffering from high-functioning anxiety may not even know they have it. They may only go to the doctors 'when they are ill enough', if they notice it at all. However often, by the time one realises something is wrong, it is too late and there is much more to undo. Anxiety affects your respiratory and gastrointestinal systems as well as your cognitive function, ability to reason and disturbed sleep. These are just a few of the key players of anxiety distress, which are more likely to be left unchecked if you are seen as still able to 'function'.

The term 'high-functioning' dampens the reality of anxiety, almost assuming that it is something that is a choice, or an admirable trait. It is not. Anyone suffering from anxiety can tell you it is debilitating. The fact it doesn't always produce outward signs of distress doesn't make it less real for the person suffering. If anything, it only deepens the stress and anxiety they experience and prevents healing from occurring.

We live in a society that values hard work and ethic and rewards this accordingly. You're told from a young age you will be successful if you just 'work hard enough'. This often means we learn to ignore any factors hindering out success until it is too late, for the sake of immediate gratification and success. What use is a deadline made if it means you haven't slept in a week? What use is always going to parties if it means you are nauseous from nerves the whole day before? What use is the term 'high-functioning' when it is still anxiety?

I have anxiety, and most days, I have to force myself to eat

I have anxiety, and I will drive myself to the ground to make something perfect

I have anxiety, and I worry myself to exhaustion everyday

Do these make me ‘high-functioning’?