The Story of Me:

It's hard to know where to start this story as I have tried to block out a lot of the hate and pain I went through from birth to 5 years old. This first part of a series of my life as it actually happened is about my early childhood the best I can remember it. This first part might jump around but as we get into my adolescence I promise to follow a more timelined approach to my writing.

It is sometime around the holiday season and it is just my mother and me in a small dwelling, I can't remember if it was a small house or an apartment. Mom is mad at me because I found the presents she had got for me and opened them all, because of her anger she spends the day in the bedroom away from me while I play with my already opened Christmas gifts (I am sure this didn't help ) in the living room. In the early evening she comes out of the room brings me the phone on the wall, it has a long spiral cord that I liked to play with, she dialed a number and put the phone to my ear. A lady on the other end picks up "Hello" she says. This is my Grandma on my father's side.

My mother whispered in my ear what to say to her. I tell her that it was Ethan, my address and that mom says to for her to come to pick me up. I don't remember the conversation word for word but I remembered that my grandma sounded happy in a sad way. Later on, in life, I will find out that this was the first time she had heard from me or my mother since I was one year old.

I wouldn't find out until I was older but this would be the first of many times that my mother would hand me off when it wasn't convenient for her to be a mother. From what I was told there were times that my mother left me with complete strangers.

It was only a couple of hours before my grandma and grandpa arrived to pick me up, I remember it being pretty late much past my bedtime. My mother passes me off to my grandparents without saying a word. My grandma notices how filthy I am, It must have been days or weeks since I was bathed and probably haven't had my clothes changed in that time either. When we get to her house she runs me a camomile bath and fixes me something to eat (I was very hungry).

It was the event of this day that my grandma knew she had to fight for me. That night she asked me if I would like to live with her and at three years old I didn't have to think about it and told her yes. We then said a prayer asking god bless us with a wish that I would get to live there with my grandparents. Unfortunately, that wish wouldn't get answered for a few years. My mother showed up about a month later when she felt it was convenient for her to care for me. I was scared because I didn't know how long it would be before I would see my grandma again.

Disclaimer: This is part one of a multipart weekly memoir about my life. I will try to always post in the same channel every week but some parts might end up in other channels due to subject matter. Thank you for reading.