The Obscure Side of Love

It all started with a dose of this medicated power

Then the prescriptions kept repeating themselves: wanting more and more

Until they got expired and renewal was not an available option

Piercing through the sensibility with an armor of that wounded inner child

Pushing deeply through any ‘obstacles’ that come in the way,

A new agenda of procuring this medicine is acquired

It looks like it will be a successful mission if they attack from all four sides and enter his supply room

Great plan and only needs execution..

Upon the time of action, no one was ready but the violent assaulter in her lover

So they all huddled in one corner and watched him tear down all the guards and reach into the safe to administer himself on the spot

His face and body morphed into a Hulk version: such an unrecognisable morph that the innocence she saw in him dissolved,

Now, replaced by bubbles of fear inching out of her

Safety was never a forte to give to each other

Instead, they pried on how to challenge each other in a brute way

Shatter each other..

Tricky by nature..

Volatile by mind..

Disengaged from the heart..

Lacking cognizance from all loving spheres..

Being angsty to let panic flow all over ..

Acting rashly to incite drama..

Shouting and pointing to invite smallness..

As a result of this, superiority is acquired in a treacherous way

The Bully takes the impotent Lover on a ride

Both are not ready and never signed up for it

However, they are stuck next to each other in this malfunctioned ride

They gaze into each other’s eyes and shy away

Out of shame, guilt and denial from their own selves

They hold hands but it is an unwanted feel

Support is only present in this form

So they embrace clinging to each other’s insecurities

Only by the thinnest thread

Both silently hope that it will break loose but unable to detach

So they ride and roll with it

Their standardised version enfolds into a new persona that becomes so dominant that they have forgotten who they really are deep down

Is this Love ? It has always been like so all along..

It was not effortless: they drip fed each other like it was morphine

But are feelings being traded as drugs now ?

Are drugs becoming a gateway to open the feelings’ realm now?

The Human side in both despondently reflects

They are emotionally sensitive

Just like waves crashing on the shores

They crash together but invisible to other waves

How they felt by given circumstance brought them to a moot point

He froze and she curbed around him

Not sensing any invitation of calm

She stayed away and he drifted off on his own island

So now, here they are in their own puddle of thoughts

Hopping from waves to the beach puddles, they have alienated themselves...

Within the confines of her heart

She barely rested nowadays.

Sleep was a faraway thought that would hound her mind every now and then but her ability to reject it and pursue her quest was stronger and more determined.

It was 4.30am - everyone was asleep. Once in a while, the shifting of their weights on the bed would draw her attention but as they easily drifted back to their slumber, she, relieved, kept on...

Daunting on the past would cause her to think much more than usual,

She became thoughtful about many different odd concepts that were kept to her only.

It was a cocktail of many emotions but mainly the angst and the pain was pulling her in, till the end of it, desperately...

Again, it was another night where she had to go against the customary unconscious state to keep on living this melodrama till the end.

Probably wandering into those characters,

To question her sense of belonging,

To debate the frailties of her commitments,

To exhibit her interest in this imaginary gallery she is surrounded by

To try to be a part of something was the reason for the multiple cues that would inhibit her sleep

More questions trigger fear that takes the shape of her inner demons

In her mind's clouds of uncertainty, a fiendish and brute-like figure, a red skull, approaches with oozings of blood.

This invites fear and deadly consequences with open arms...

Instead of steering clear from the negative film of this universe, ironically she surrenders to her fear

As unseen, unheard, undead as it was, it seemed more reassuring than being in the company of others who protect themselves with a mask

She found solace in the dark shadows of her ferocity