The Nightmare

I see a lot of dreams. Often, I have nightmares during my day naps, especially around the time of waking up. Today, it happened again. 

I was in deep sleep and dreaming. Let me share what I captured in memory, before it dissolved.

We were immigrants, living a happy domestic life. Something happened in the country we lived, and we were told to leave. We were unhappy. This is the place we have called home for decade, and now raising kids too. We don't have nice accommodation in our homeland, but we hoped this was temporary.

We were shopping for things before leaving.

My little son was with us, pulling a turtle toy. He got lost in the city clutter. As we were frantically searching for him, out of the blue, an airplane crashed. Chaos in the city. I lost my phone too. Somebody started sending scam messages too.

In the aftermath of the tragedy, I was crying uncontrollably: "No, it can't happen. My biggest priority can't be snatched."

But I knew, even after the biggest losses, people have to live. I was in deep pain and guilt. It was unbearable. I was pining for my son.

My cry had no sound. That was a relief. Then my eyes opened. I saw the clock: 6.

I thought, "There's still time to wake up and get my daughter ready for school at 7:30 AM."

 Then I said, "Wait a minute, isn't it afternoon 6 PM?" We had eaten lunch and slept.

That brought relief. In naps, towards the end, I often see bad dreams and wake up with a jolt. So, it was just a dream, a scary one.

Time to Analyze the Dream

By analyzing dreams, we can learn a lot about our subconscious, which is often a stranger even to our waking selves.

I found some reasons. Let me share:

🌿Naps are short, and I often have negative, bizarre dreams, towards the end of naps.

🌿We had leftover spicy mutton biryani for lunch. Food changes our brain's neurochemistry. I need to understand this link better. I know, meaty, cheesy food has amino acid which can convert into neurotransmitters. I am sure with homemade rice, lentil meals, the dream would not have been as scary.

🌿A friend I met a few days ago told that she travels to the other coast for work, leaving her two kids with her spouse for days. She is very driven, sure. But I shuddered hearing that. I resented it. No, career is not that important.

🌿I spend a lot of time with my little son today. Long walk, driving, gardening. But I also ignored him and left the room when he came in with his noisy iPad while I was writing. I hate noise and interruptions. Maybe it was guilt of ignoring him. Maybe the mind was saying, "Your study can wait. His childhood is more important."

🌿Lately, there have been many tragedies involving kids - Gaza, Texas floods, India plane crash. Children perished before life could even bloom.

🌿Today, I had met two kids from the neighborhood. One was going to the swimming pool with her mother. Another, who had no mother, was in school and his teacher was asking him to make his bed for nap time. So different experience for the two kids!

🌿Why didn't I see my daughter in the dream? Well, you can't argue with dreams.

Action

I woke up and ran straight to the room the little son was taking a nap with his father. I cuddled him.

The dream told me again: Be there like a shadow for your kids. They are defenseless. They need you.

I may not listen to preaching of self-proclaimed gurus, but I listen to my dreams, seriously. I had watched a TED talk how they tell us some things we need to her, but are ignoring, engrossed in our day-to-day life.

Dreams show us the unvarnished, natural truth. ~ Carl Jung

I have to write about another profound dream I had years back, which made me end my career break and look for earning options.

Meanwhile, I hope, you got something important about human psyche from this story.