The Mental War on Klonopin

If you are struggling with Klonopin and withdrawals from it, or you know someone that is, this is for you.

The first day I met her she was sitting in her kitchen chair holding her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth. I remember her eyes being completely black and she looked scared and lost, like she was literally in Hell.

I was assigned to her home healthcare case to provide her with companionship, safety, and encouragement after being released from her fourth Psychiatric unit stay. Her family was concerned about leaving her alone while they worked and were not able to be at the house. She was 63 years old.

When she was calm she began to tell me little things about what had gone wrong in her life starting with the beginning. One random day she was at a park walking with a friend when she broke out in hives. She was panicked and began to have anxiety from this point on. The hives eventually went away however the anxiety did not, so she went to her doctor. They prescribed her Klonopin, an anti - anxiety medication commonly prescribed for this diagnosis. She began to take it as prescribed. She told me that after about one month of being on this she wanted to stop taking it because she did not like how it made her feel. So she called her doctor and they put her on a taper program to taper off of it over the next week. The taper plan however did not go well.

She began having insomnia and could not sleep. After some days this developed into psychosis and suicidal ideations. She stated that she spent hours upon hours at home trying to figure out how to kill herself. She tried everything to learn how to tie a slip knot in a rope and figure out where she could hang it from. She would get so bad that she would leave the house and drive around town looking to buy a gun. Each time however she would not have the courage to fulfill this and she would go back home. She also stated that she is pretty sure she had some seizures because her toes would curl in massive pain in her feet and her body would stiffen. The doctors never clarified this. One night however she was very bad and the family called the ambulance and the police to come and help. They admitted her to the first Psychiatric unit where she remained for just over 30 days before they sent her home, back on the Klonopin and now on sleeping medications. This however lead to further problems and complications and she was re-admitted over and over again. The stress on her husband and daughter was very apparent and I could tell they were ready to give up on her ever being better.

I remember her telling me that each time she went in that they treated her very poorly and automatically ordered a full scale drug test. She told them she was not using drugs and that she was trying to withdrawal off of Klonopin and they never believed her. Each time they stated to her that "you cannot get addicted to Klonopin". She stated many times that they told her things that if she did not behave and get off drugs she was going to end up homeless. One tech even went as far as telling her that she did not like women like her who had everything handed to them by their husband and did not have to work and still did this type of stuff to gain attention.

By the time I started working with her she was depressed, terrified she was going to end up homeless and terrified to be admitted to another psych unit. they had failed miserably to treat her anxiety and instead made it worse and masked it with medication. So I did my best to keep the surroundings and her home quiet and peaceful.

At first she slept a lot, or laid in bed a lot. She colored in an adult coloring book almost every day as this was suggested by a friend of hers, and would talk about everything she knew and did in her life. She seemed to enjoy this somewhat, so we did it and I was fine with because she was full of Information and experiences and she was extremely intelligent and inspiring.

In coordination with her husband and her Psychiatrist we began a taper program for her. A very small, long taper program. The pills she was prescribed were the ones with the line that could be cut in half. Her husband would take several pills each weak and cut them with a pill cutter so that he could take one tiny little chunk off of each pill, and I mean tiny, less than one quarter of each pill. This began with the morning dose the first week and then went to the second daily dose the next week and then the third daily dose the next week. Every three weeks he would take another tiny little piece off beginning with the morning dose, than the noon dose and then the evening dose. This was done in weekly increments so that she would not taper to fast and fall back into psychosis. Each dose he took off she could feel the affects on around day 2 to 3. She would feel the withdrawal for several days and then begin to even out again. Some weeks seemed worse than others but she was sticking it out and it was working!! Slowly, but it was working and keeping her out of the hospital and the Psych units, so we continued on.

After some time she could handle the withdrawals a little easier and would not sleep/ lay down as much during the day. We began to go out to lunches again and be around people again. She even started making her teas daily and some dinners from time to time. She taught me so much in the year that I was with her that even through her struggle she was a blessing to me.

After time went by her eyes went from Black to Crystal Blue. I couldn't believe how blue they were. it was shocking to remember them the first time I met her. She started working out again and after about a year she was completely off the Klonopin and sleeping pills and doing much better. She was able to turn back to Ayurvedic herbs and made a vow to never again use Western Medications to care for herself. She was now living life without anxiety and depression and an addiction to a doctor prescribed medication.

If you know someone who is struggling with withdrawals from Klonopin/Clonazepam and is in a bad way, this might be the solution for getting them off of this highly addictive medication. The taper program from the doctors was just way to much and to fast for her body. And when they say you cannot get addicted to this medication, they are dead wrong. This little pill sent her to Hell. It was a very long process and we watched her struggle in painful ways, but we were all positive and supportive and patient with her as she went through this and in the end it turned out with a positive outcome.

Good luck to you or anyone struggling with this! My thoughts and prayers are with you. You can do this, you can get off of it, just be patient and take the time needed by your body and brain to adjust slowly and safely.