The Lie That You Should Have It All Figured Out by 25

There was a moment — on my 24th birthday — where I looked around and thought:
*“Wait… shouldn’t I have figured it all out by now?”*

Career. Relationships. Purpose. Stability.
All these big, heavy words hung over my head like I missed some secret manual everyone else received.

I had a decent job.
A few friends.
An okay routine.

But deep inside, I felt like I was *floating* — not moving forward, just surviving.

I didn’t feel proud.
I didn’t feel like I was building anything meaningful.
I just felt... stuck.

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## The Silent Pressure of Your 20s

You scroll through Instagram and see:
- Someone launching a business.
- Someone getting married.
- Someone buying their dream car.
- Someone else “living their best life” on a beach in Bali.

And then there’s you — still figuring out what groceries to buy or how to not feel empty after a long day.

No one posts about confusion, identity crises, or lying awake wondering if you made the wrong choices.
We just assume that if we're struggling, we must be doing life wrong.

This is what no one says out loud:
**Your 20s are messy, confusing, and non-linear.**
They aren’t about having it all together.
They’re about learning how to hold yourself together when nothing makes sense yet.

But that pressure — it doesn’t just disappear.
It whispers in your ear:
*"You’re behind."*
*"Look at them. Look at you."*
*"You should be doing more."*

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## I Thought I Was Behind — Until I Talked to Others

One night, I opened up to a close friend and said:

> “Honestly, I feel like I’m falling behind. Everyone seems to be moving ahead while I’m stuck.”

She laughed softly and replied:

> “I feel the same. Most people I know do. But we all pretend like we’re fine.”

That hit me hard.

We’re all out here comparing our *real lives* to someone else’s *highlight reel* — and calling ourselves failures.

The truth is, almost everyone I spoke to admitted to feeling lost — even the ones who seemed successful on the outside.

One friend with a six-figure job confessed he felt numb.
Another who got married young said she wondered if she rushed it.
Everyone was quietly questioning themselves.

And that made me realize — maybe I wasn’t behind.
Maybe I was just human.

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## What Helped Me Shift My Mindset

Here’s what slowly pulled me out of that spiral:

1. **I started journaling honestly — no filters.**
Writing my confusion made space for clarity. It helped me notice patterns in my overthinking and self-doubt.

2. **I unfollowed “perfect lifestyle” accounts.**
Not because they were bad — but because they made me forget that real life is not a movie montage.

3. **I created a “progress list” instead of a goals list.**
Every week, I wrote down tiny wins:
- “Did laundry.”
- “Said no to something I didn’t want to do.”
- “Went for a walk when I felt anxious.”
These little victories reminded me that movement doesn't have to be massive to matter.

4. **I talked to older people.**
Every one of them said the same thing:
*“You’re not supposed to have it all figured out. Just keep growing.”*
And that helped. A lot.

5. **I reminded myself: life isn’t a checklist.**
It’s not school. There’s no graduation for “adulthood.”
You evolve. You adapt. You change — over and over again.

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## A Message If You’re Feeling Lost Right Now

If you’re in your 20s — or even 30s — and feel behind, hear this:

You are **not late.**
You are **not broken.**
You are **not failing.**

You are becoming.

Becoming is uncomfortable.
It’s filled with uncertainty.
But it’s also filled with potential.

No one tells you that becoming the person you’re meant to be requires breaking the person you thought you had to be.

Let yourself grow slowly.
Let yourself be confused.
That’s where real transformation happens — in the in-between.

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## Final Thoughts

Let go of the made-up timeline.
Let go of the fake pressure to have everything sorted.

Some people peak at 18.
Some at 28.
Some at 58.

Life isn’t a race — it’s a rhythm.

And right now, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be… even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

Trust the process.
Be kind to yourself.
Keep going.

Because the best chapters of your life haven’t even been written yet.