Welcome to the Legendary Life. My name is Legend V. I suffer from mental illness. Let me reword that. I endure my condition. I survive. I cope. I live. Yes, I live. I truly live. I am on a journey. I would like you to join me on this journey.
Let me tell you more about myself. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1998. I had suffered with depression since college before that but basically thought that many people had the same thing and didn't think much of it. I didn't do anything about my depression other than to try to pray it away. That didn't work, though.
In September of 1997, I finally went to get some therapy. It worked and I started to feel better. In April of 1998 I started to feel REALLY better! I also started to need less sleep. I grew irritable and started heated arguments with strangers. I was getting out of control but even though all my friends and family around me saw this, I didn't know.
My close friends and family urged me to seek help and go to a psychiatrist. They told me that I was very sick and needed help. I told these people that THEY were the one's who were sick and couldn't see it. I was terribly deluded. I got into a heated argument with a co-worker one day and, as a result, was put on leave from work. My employer agreed to pay for my therapy while I was out from work. I took them up on their offer and continued seeing my therapist.
My therapist eventually saw that I needed to see a psychiatrist and gave me a business card of a good psychiatrist that he trusted. I took the card and threw it away. I felt that my therapist had turned against me and this made me very, very angry.
Eventually, I became so manic that even I couldn't deny it. I was driving around in my car not knowing what to do when I decided that I finally had to reach out for help. I pulled into the parking lot of a pre-school and asked the kind receptionist to call the police and that I was in need of help. I told her that I wasn't dangerous but that I needed help.
The police came and took me into custody. I didn't know this but they detained me under something called a 5150. I would be detained under 5150's two more times in the future. I spent two weeks in a Mental Health Unit in Costa Mesa, California and was eventually released when the psychiatrists believed it was safe to do so. This was the first time that I had ever been in a Mental Health unit but it wouldn't be the last time.
I have spent time in Mental Health units 6 times in Southern California. I have been in fine ones and not so fine ones like the time I was in a State run Mental Health unit. Think the movie "One Who Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" if you know what I mean. I thank God that I have been stable since 2017 through the dedicated and faithful taking of Lithium and Depakote and my monthly visits to both my psychiatrist and therapists.
If you struggle with mental illness I hope that you will faithfully see both a psychiatrist and therapist also. If you can not afford them, sign up for Medicare and you will find either low cost or no cost options for you.
Those of us with mental illness share the same stories though we have very different lives. Like the photograph on my page, we are on a journey is a forest. Sometimes we get lost and lose our way. Sometimes we just sit down and cry because we don't know what else to do.
The stronger ones, wipe there tears away, get up, and move on determined to find their way no matter what. The weaker of us, like me, do the same but sometimes with more strength and vigor than the stronger ones, passing them on they way with joy in their hearts and a smile on their faces.
I hope you will check in with me from time to time to read what I have wrote. I think you will like what you read. I certainly hope so. Thank you for spending your valuable time with me and I hope that my own stories of the struggles and triumphs I have gone through will be encourage you and help you on your way. Until next time. Legend
About the Creator
Legend Gilchrist
I am a retired English teacher. I have been writing for 27 years. I live in the Palm Springs area of Southern California. I am a poet, writer, and novelist. I enjoy writing about rock music culture. I hope to write for Rolling Stone.
Keep reading
More stories from Legend Gilchrist and writers in Psyche and other communities.
Legendary Poetry: Elation
Elation Why do I feel this way? By all means, I should feel as though a ton of bricks were dropped directly on my head while I "rested" on a bed of sharp nails. My pain, my evil and cruel "friend", haunts me, torments me, and harrases me daily, nightly, and whenever he, surely it must be a he as he is as brutal as the worst dictator might be, both wants and desires. And so I sit ith my head in my hands curled up int e fetal position doing the best I cn to endure my pain. I have long since hoped that my pain will actally go away because the fact of the matter is, my pain has NOT gone away. What does all of this have to do with elation or happiness you may ask. Please be patient with me and let me tell you the tale that will eventually answer this important question.
By Legend Gilchrist6 years ago in Psyche
Society Often Teaches Us to Suppress Our Sad Feelings, Branding Them as Negative.
Allow yourself the time to feel, process, and let go. What a journey we’ve traveled together. You can relate to that pain that appears out of nowhere and wants to linger in our minds. Once fear moves in, it takes root—spreading doubt, loneliness, and confusion It’s that kind of pain that overtakes your mental health, gradually making a home within you. Your thoughts can create a space filled with fear, a feeling that we often cling to because it’s the one our minds use against us—leading to a fierce battle between your thoughts and your feelings. It’s a struggle no one wants to lose, yet losing yourself feels like an ever-present threat. Isn’t that a trick life plays on us?
By Johana Torres14 days ago in Psyche
Fair Trade without robberies
Fair Trade without robberies Chapter 1 of Dark Memoirs There are at least two types of people in the world: those who write this half-assed introduction to a story that tries to distinguish the unusual from the common, and those who are aware that it is an overused framing device but choose not to use it. I tend to be in the latter camp, not the former. In case you were curious. if you asked the question in your head as if you were praying to God, Santa, or that person who was with you for the first two decades of your existence. You are aware of it. the man who went to bed with your mother that night. Looking back, I believe I was always troubled. No, I am aware of it. issues with being disconnected and detached. I really like people, but they are full of cliches, like they can't be trusted and are always wrong. Because the world is cruel and people have hearts, people are cruel. Their hearts are erratic and dishonest. You are already familiar with the kind of cliches I'm referring to. I rarely look in the mirror. Concerned about what I might see? No. I already know what I'll see, and it's not something I like. It is a waste of time to look through a looking glass for every second. Self-loathing is my full-time job, and I'm good at it without looking at that horrible jerk. As the last person so many people see before they expire, I do feel they're relieved by death's imminent arrival. As a result of the darkened realization that dances across their face as I call time, there will be no robberies. I'd say that it gives me a sense of purpose and even joy, but I'm much more than just driven by basic human needs. Glib. That is a word that is rarely used. It feels appropriate, even in my memoirs, which are heavy on erudition and grandiosity. According to the Collins Dictionary, the term "glib" refers to something that is simple and effortless, but frequently in a deceptive, superficial, or insincere manner. Perfect.
By Silent Truth 4 days ago in Psyche
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.