The It

When was the last time you felt completely out of your depth? I’ll go first. A few years ago, I decided it was time to move out of my mother’s place and into downtown Nairobi. I thought I was prepared for the change—I had everything planned down to the last detail. How hard could it be?

So, I did what anyone would do to get ready for a big move: I packed up my belongings, found an apartment, and set a moving date. But as soon as I arrived in my new neighborhood, reality hit. The hustle and bustle of downtown Nairobi was far more intense than I had anticipated. I was excited about the new chapter, but I quickly realized I was in over my head.

The first few weeks were overwhelming. I was learning to navigate a completely different environment, juggling new responsibilities, and adapting to a pace of life that was entirely foreign to me. It wasn’t long before I felt exposed and embarrassed—like I had bitten off more than I could chew.

But what about you? Maybe you’re struggling to run your business, trying to master a skill for your job, or simply attempting to lower your golf handicap. Perhaps you’ve been meaning to get a mentor, take a class, or, in my case, learn how to thrive in a new environment, but you never quite got around to it. You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s that thing you’ve been dying to master.

If you’re anything like me, it probably haunts you—a nagging reminder on your to-do list that never gets crossed off because you’re too bogged down by the demands of daily life.

Whether you’re a business leader, an employee, a hobbyist, or just someone trying to get by, ask yourself: How much time and energy do you invest in becoming truly excellent at what you do?

Here’s my big idea: When it comes to your personal development, you can’t keep waiting until you’re less busy or for someone else to do it for you. No one will truly invest in you but you.

As an organizational psychologist, I’ve spent years helping leaders and companies succeed. This passion began in my childhood when I saw the power of leadership to transform lives. Shortly after my parents divorced, my mother started her own business. It didn’t just support our family; it supported the families of the 25 people who worked for her.

Now, in my professional life, I apply scientific principles of human behavior to help others succeed. A client of mine once summed up my role perfectly: "Leadership is my Everest, and you are my Sherpa."

In my 12 years of being an executive coach, or “Sherpa,” I’ve discovered a pattern—three steps for radical improvement that don’t just apply to business leadership, but to anything you want to master. Today, I’m going to share them with you.

But before I do, you might be thinking, "Really? Anything?"

Yes! Whether you’re a bodybuilder, a bartender, a surgeon, or a screenwriter—if there’s something you want to do better, these three steps will help you become truly excellent at it.

Ready? Let’s get started.

Step 1. Know Thyself

Most people are completely delusional about their own skills and capabilities. Researchers Justin Kruger and David Dunning uncovered this phenomenon, which they modestly named the Dunning-Kruger effect. It turns out that most people overestimate their talent, and the least competent people are the worst at recognizing their incompetence.

Are we bad people? Rarely. Are we stupid? Not usually. We just live in a world where people hardly ever tell the truth. We’re polite, busy, and often afraid to give or receive honest feedback. But if you want to get better at something, you have to know where you stand.

Here’s my advice: Start by looking at your objective measures of success. Then, seek out someone who will tell you the truth. Ask them: What am I doing that’s helping me succeed? What’s getting in the way, and how can I adapt my approach to be better?

Step 2. Pick One Thing

Once you’ve gotten honest feedback, it’s tempting to try to change everything at once. But here’s the truth: It’s far better to make progress on one thing than little to none on many things.

When working with a client named Steve, we identified that he had a lot of areas for improvement. But the one thing that would give him the most bang for his buck was learning to control his anger. We focused on that, and in a matter of weeks, he started to get a handle on it.

So, how do you pick your one thing? List all the skills you’re trying to improve, then rate how much more awesome you’d be if you only got better at that one thing. Start with the highest number and work your way down.

Step 3. Practice Daily

This is where most people fail. They think that just wanting to get better is enough. But real improvement requires daily practice. Scientists have discovered that excellence isn’t inborn—it’s earned through consistent, deliberate effort.

Steve learned to practice daily by developing a habit. Every day on his way to work, he’d think about what he was trying to improve and make a plan to practice it. On the way home, he’d reflect on how he did and plan for the next day. In less than six months, Steve saw massive returns.

So, what do you think? Are some people born to be great? Sometimes. But my belief is this: With effort and commitment, almost anyone can be better.

Know thyself. Pick one thing. Practice daily. That’s all there is to it. After using this framework with thousands of leaders, I know with absolute certainty that it works.

Now, it’s your turn. No one will invest in you but you. Make the commitment, follow the three steps, and you’ll become more awesome at what you do every day. You’ll be utterly unstoppable. What are you waiting for?