The Clinically Depressed Girl's Guide to Life

According to the DSM-V trouble making decisions, (even minor ones) and fatigue are common symptoms of Depression. If you have Depression you know how easily that escalates to being unable to take care of yourself.

I think this is the topic that resonates the least with people who've never struggled with mood disorders. Hygiene is supposed to be basic right? We brush our teeth, we take showers, we act like adults and brush our hair. But when it takes you an hour to get out of bed turn over in bed, trying to shower feels like qualifying for the olympics.

A shower tends to be the first thing to go during rough periods. Especially for women, because with showering comes the hair washing... and the pressure to shave... and exfoliate... and deep condition... and be a hairless, pore-less, amazon Victoria's Secret Angel.

HELLO OVERWHELM!

But girl...

You smell bad. I know you’re on the couch, or in your bed watching the hours tick by. Maybe you’re thinking about how you have to go to the post office or the grocery store but you haven’t showered in several days and are no longer acceptable for public viewing. So that short trip just turned into a dreadful process of showering, hair washing, and getting dressed. It’s a gatekeeper! Instead of being a depressed smelly girl, why don’t we try and depression proof your routine?

Start by taking the pressure OFF. When I think of showering I think of washing my course, long hair, shaving, exfoliating, and by the time I’m done I’m ready for a nap. Let's get real for a second. You don’t need shaved legs, or even freshly washed hair to go to work, or the grocery store.  Stop equating basic hygiene with complex beauty blogger worthy routines. I have a general shower rule, that once upon a time originated from a lack of hot water… but follows me today helping people navigate depression days. Either wash your hair, shave your legs, or exfoliate. You don’t need to do more than one at a time... even on those bright green days!

Maybe you're tempted to just pull out the baby wipes so you're socially acceptable before you crawl to the post office in yesterday's yoga pants. But stop right there... that's actually a lot more work than a simple hop in the shower. Sometimes when gatekeepers like showering stress us out we end up making more complicated work arounds. So instead of making your life more difficult by wasting 30 minutes, 15 baby wipes, half a bottle of perfume, and STILL feeling grimy... embrace the Clinically Depressed Girl's Shower...

- Top Knot that shit

- Stand in the hot water. If you can't stand, SIT... who cares?

- Wash your body

- Wash your face

- DONE!!!

Once you're in, if you feel great... pick one of your essentials (hair/shave/exfoliate/etc) and rock it! If not, move on, you're clean, that's all we're trying to do here. If you can manage it, here are some guidelines to stay in top notch Clinically Depressed Girl form when you have an extra spoon.

- Wash your hair 2x a week

- Exfoliate once every 2 weeks

- Use a face mask 1x a week

- Toss your shower scrubby at least once a month in the washing machine

- Shave whenever you want: Now is a great time to throw out society’s obsession with female body hair. See you’re not depressed, you’re an activist! ;)

Want to kill two birds with one stone? Shower at night, and wash your face in the shower. I recommend a night time shower anyway.  The warm water can make you sleepy, going to bed clean will prolong the life of your sheets, and you’ll wake up with one less burden to tackle. I know they say we're not supposed to wash our face in the shower but... I don't trust people who know how to do that without flooding the bathroom honestly.

Now that we've touched on the basics, lets color code this gatekeeper activity. Remember Green is for the great days where you feel better than usual. Yellow are for your "meh" or middle days, depending on where you are in your mental health journey. Red is for those horrible days where the goal is to survive, without the pressure to thrive.

Green:

- Remove your makeup before you hop in.

- Wash your hair (try to do this on your green days so you don't have the guilt weighing down your yellow/red days) and wash your body.

- Exfoliate OR shave... we don't want to waste all of your green energy on showering!

- Wash your face AFTER you've washed your hair (just a skin health rule... trust).

- Skincare Routine - I think this warrants another post in itself to be honest. But if you're not sure where to start, just make sure you're moisturized and sun protected.

- You've washed your hair, taken care of your skin, and pampered yourself in the process! IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE MORE KILLER?!

Yellow:

Remove your makeup before you hop in.

Top Knot that ISHHH.

Wash your body.

Wash your face.

Dry shampoo when you get out then re-topknot.

Congratulations, you've achieved what most busy people achieve in their average shower. You're ready to face the day and have nothing to be self-conscious about!

Red:

Invoke the Clinically Depressed Girl's Shower Routine (Call upon the Goddess of Depression and Cheeto Dust if necessary)

Topknot

Stand/sit/lay down/roll around... whatever you can manage.

Wash your body

Wash or rinse your face

Done.

Congratulations you've taken one of the biggest hurdles of red days and kicked it in the ass. Now if you've got the energy for other tasks you don't need to worry about being ready to go outside because you're clean and good to go. Red day defeated!

More to come! Stay wild.