Targeted

We proceeded to my office for our session, and she immediately noticed the new art on my wall. Over the years, I've created numerous abstract pieces of trauma art that represent the work I do with my clients, and I like to hang them on my walls for inspiration.

My favorite one was when my son was processing his trauma, and began using paper airplanes as a tool to take his power back. I love his creativity, and I share his concept with anyone who asks. I often bring metaphors of emotional bubbles, stars, and hearts into my sessions with clients, and they can find their way into my creative expression.

“We just returned home from my daughter's soccer game, and he offered to pour me a glass of wine, knowing my day was stressful before I arrived at the field. I was about to take my first sip when I noticed a jalapeno seed at the bottom of my glass,” she began.

She dove right into the session today. I often do that with my therapist when I have had a busy or overwhelming week. Maintaining our mental health can be as simple as venting to someone who can help us diffuse and untangle our emotions.

“I mean, it was fresh out of the dishwasher from last night, it should have been clean,” she went on.

“Where do you think the seed came from?” I asked.

“Oh, well, he puts pickled jalapeno peppers on his salad. He eats them whole! They're delicious, but one is enough for me. They're just a bit intense,” she explained. “A seed from one of them must have come off his salad plate in the dishwasher." She paused for a moment as if recalling a distant memory. "One time, the cat accidentally ate one of the seeds out of curiosity. He was hacking and howling for a few minutes until the burning stopped,” she added.

"Oh, no! That must have been awful for him!" I said with a smile. We both giggled softly and out loud.

"I am interested in hearing more; you said he poured the wine and brought it to you?" I asked.

"Yes, he's so kind. He even gave me a nice kiss before he handed it to me, charging me the 'wine toll,'" she said with a half smile. "It's this thing we made up because I asked him if we could kiss more often. I guess I was feeling a general lack of intimacy. It's become a funny inside joke."

She continued to fill me in on the rest of her week and more details about the conversations she had with him.

“So, that's why I think I might be in an abusive relationship. I mean, obviously, the scope wasn't attached to the gun, but he was pretending to target me like a sniper from across the room. I asked him to stop, but he laughed, then got upset and told me to get over it, claiming it was a joke. He never stopped. He even picked it up to aim it at me whenever I walked through the room, a bunch of times. He even took it upstairs when he came up to bed later that night and was looking through it at me while I was reading my book. It's still on the bedside table,” she said sadly.

"What would his reaction be if you put the scope back where it belongs?" I asked.

"Oh my god, he would flip out because I touched his stuff!" she answered almost immediately.

She gazed at the floor in concern, and when she looked up at me, she had tears in her eyes. “I have no one else to talk to about this; everyone thinks I'm crazy for thinking someone like him could ever be abusive,” she said sadly.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. Abusers hide who they are from people to keep up appearances. You're not crazy, and I'd like to discuss this further next week. Please start keeping a log of all the times you feel unsafe with him and the reasons you feel that way,” I responded.

"Okay, thank you for listening. Sometimes I have this feeling of being isolated at home. It's weird," she reflected.

"It sounds like you are concerned about the relationship, and I want to hear more about this so that I can make an informed recommendation. I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. You're safe here, and I'm so glad you are being vulnerable and sharing your feelings," I said.