recovery
Your illness does not define you. It's your resolve to recover that does.
The girl who was afraid of her voice
Let me tell you a story about a little girl who grew afraid to talk. She was a chatterbox. She loved attention. She loved love. The thing she loved best was giving hugs, because she always got one back too. She was happy and vivacious. She doesn’t remember exactly when it happened, when the Change took hold. At some point, she was told to keep quiet. She was told no one cared to hear her. She started learning that she talked too much. She tried to be quieter. She would bite her tongue until it bled. Then, she was told to shut up. “Shut Up-It’s not Your Place to talk". She was told that the word ‘love’ meant it’s ok to hurt people, as long as you say you’re sorry afterwards; as long as you buy them a treat or give them a hug. She was taught to ‘be seen and not heard’ and when she was heard there would be hell to pay. Her voice brought beatings, her voice brought lectures, more punishments that exceeded her crimes. She was taught that respect was owed, not earned. She learned that her body was not her own, her mind she was not allowed to make up. She was taught that to love someone, you had to fear them, actually be afraid of them, of displeasing them in the slightest. She learned how to read every minute nuance of body language. She found out when she could get away with using her voice and when she better not even try. Her body was stronger than his, but she had been instructed in such a way that her head was unaware of this possibility.
By Sabrina Hunt6 years ago in Psyche
Recovering from Domestic Abuse
It's been over a year since I left an abusive relationship I was in for about 15 months. It doesn't seem to be a long time to be in a relationship but it really messed with my head. A year seems like more than enough time for recovery but I am still struggling. Just like our perception of domestic abuse can be lacking, our perception of the recovery from an abusive situation can be lacking too.
By Rebecca Clark6 years ago in Psyche
Second Chance
I always craved the nightlife. However I was vastly over weight for a majority of my life, meaning I was never very good at being a part of it. As I now know, having bipolar is something that means I shouldn't allow for the nightlife much in my life anyhow; it was fall and the bipolar delusions were strong and I was struggling very hard internally with the paranoid thoughts that flooded my mind day in and day out. The thought of being talked about behind my back, and people not liking me, was never far from my mind. I never felt like I fit in, it didn't' matter if I was at one of the kid's football games or at work at the strip club I felt like no one liked me. I never stayed at a job for much longer than six months because I would get overwhelmed with the feelings that my coworkers were out to get me. The struggle had me in full force by 2008 when I had lost all the weight after my gastric bypass surgery.
By Tosha Maaks6 years ago in Psyche
Murder, Mirrors & Morgan Harper Nichols
A Note: This piece contains content relating to disordered eating and mental illness. 1. Murder I've never been much of a crier. Even as a kid, my eyes were, for the most part, dry. Tears and tantrums, they were my brother's department - youngest child syndrome and all that. I joked, I giggled, and on the occasions when something hit an inch too close to home, I would quietly wander away and sit, alone with it all bottled up inside of my head.
By Gracie Delaney6 years ago in Psyche
A Cycle of Anger
DISCLAIMER: Those suffering from Depression, Anxiety, PTSD or other such distressing conditions, please be advised that this piece deals with subject matter that may be triggering. Recounts of panic attacks and violent behaviour are mentioned. If you find this post upsetting, please let me know, and contact one of the following helplines and counselling services:
By Miss Riggie6 years ago in Psyche
Recovery in Progress
My admission date to New Hope Rehabilitation Center was October 10 2019. It was the culmination of a history of persistent drug abuse (alcohol, benzodiazepines, and heroin) the untimely death of my girlfriend from a drug overdose, and the entertainment of suicidal ideation that prompted me to seek and accept help. I was referred by New Hope’s Nivi to consider Philip House as my aftercare treatment plan for a suggested 6 months upon discharge from New Hope.
By Hypodermically Speaking6 years ago in Psyche
My Secret Addiction
For as long as I can remember I have always felt the need to look after others. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, friend, or even someone that I barely know. I have an inherent need to help “fix” the lives of others whether they want me to or not. Now wanting to help others is not a bad thing, unless it begins to be at the cost of your own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. I am extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, and I find it very difficult to take a step back and remove myself from situations in which I over-empathize with someone else. This is especially true if it is someone I care about. I became almost obsessive in my need to help others, and I would often begin to sacrifice my own mental health and financial stability to support someone who I believed to need my help. When I look back now, I realize that I was providing support to people who hadn’t even asked for my help. I truly believed that they needed me, they just didn’t know it yet. My feelings of self-worth began to “depend” on my ability and need to make things better for those whose lives I believed needed to be fixed.
By Stacey Broad6 years ago in Psyche
Ashley
Where do I begin? Ashley, for all intents and purposes is my life line. Ashley is my 'counsellor' both in the typical sense as she is a registered clinical counsellor by trade and for me, even in a sort of spiritual sense. Truthfully, I can think of no other way to describe her. She is an incredibly intelligent, intensely astute, and also a pleasingly beautiful woman that has become for me the one place I can turn when I have a problem that has me baffled or confused. She is a beautiful woman in the conventional sense of the word, yes, yet that is not what I am referring to here. Ashley's beauty, to me- comes from within. From an inner most place that if every living breathing person could share her values, her ideals, as I see her- as people, we would certainly be a much happier bunch on this earth.
By Joseph Willson6 years ago in Psyche
