depression
It is not just a matter of feeling sad; discover an honest view of the mental, emotional and physical toll of clinical depression.
"Black People Don't Even Do That"
WARNING: THIS ARTCILE MAY BE A TRIGGER FOR SOME. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRESTION. Allow me to tell you a story: I was born into a tumultuous time. My mother was barely 21 years old. She dropped out of college and put her dreams on hold to birth me. She moved back in with her mother to get help with me because she was in an unhealthy, physically abusive relationship with my father. Believe it or not, my earliest memory is from age three. It is a traumatic one. However, my childhood was for the most part “happy.” We took trips, had frequent gatherings at our home, I got whatever I asked for, etc..
By Chanel Fisher8 years ago in Psyche
'Depression Is the Inability to Construct a Future' -Jim Rohn
Since, I can remember, I was always the class clown. I loved seeing the other kids laugh with me rather than at me. It gave me a sense of happiness—something I didn’t have. It all started when I was ten. Jess Shetivik was out for me. Everything I did annoyed her, so she ridiculed me for it. She would turn off the bathroom lights while I was on the toilet and make scary noises, she would spread rumours about me, and worst of all, she would make fun of me. Making fun of someone, pointing out their flaws and why no one likes them, does something to a child. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I finally decided to tell the only person I trusted; my older brother. As soon as my mom died, it was just my dad, my brother, and I. But things changed. I guess my dad couldn't take it, so it was just me and brother. He was all I had. When I told him about what was happening at school, he said something that I’ve held with me for the rest of my life: “You are the most loving and strongest person I know. Those kids are testing your patience. Don't cry, don't fight fire with fire, do what you do best. Show them what it means to be able to defend yourself without hurting the other person.” And that's exactly what I did. The next day at school when Jessie came over to give me my daily dose of criticism, I laughed with her and I could see the fury in her eyes. I destroyed her.
By Jessica Rodriguez8 years ago in Psyche
Postpartum Depression
I think about never having another kid after my first, Gabriel—not because of the pain I endured but because I thought I would have so much more help. I thought things would be different and everyday I wake up and things are just the same. I wither away from everything and darkness consumes me. I want my partner Cody to help me more and he agrees to but every morning it’s the same routine. I try to wake him up to get the baby and he threatens me or gets angry. He then proceeds to put me down and say things like, “It’s easy. I could do this with my eyes closed and you act like it’s so hard,” or “stop acting like you never get to sleep.” It is hard though. I’m 19. I am a first time mom and I’m doing this basically alone. Sure, Cody covers the finances and he tries really hard to help; he does everything basically for me and Gabriel. I’m at home dealing with throw up everywhere and a fussy baby fighting sleep with everything he has, shitty diapers that climb up his back and seeps through onto anything he was laying on, trying to nap, and he wakes up for hours instead of laying back down right away. I don’t just sleep and when I do it’s for an hour or two, and when the baby does take a really good long nap, I have to get things done, like clean, call important places, or take care of me because I am still a person who needs to take care of my hygiene and my well being. It all sounds easy, I suppose, but then my depression kicks in and I’m left doing all these things while feeling the way I do. I can’t just take a minute to lay in bed all day and cry. I have to be up and alert taking care of my baby, then I still find myself nodding out because I’m so exhausted. I say “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but I don’t really do that because even when I try to lay down, I sit there awake thinking about everything, thinking about crying again. I guess what I’m feeling is wrong, and it should be easy but for me it isn’t. I keep looking forward though, keep counting down the days until he will start sleeping through the night and things get easier. I love my son to death.
By Journey Sky8 years ago in Psyche
I Never Thought It Would Be Me
I never thought it would be me. Not in a million years. Here I am, going to a therapist once a week to talk about my feelings. If you know me personally you would think that I am the happiest person in the world. That was true until I was in high school.
By Casey Edwards8 years ago in Psyche
Being Happy
What is happy? Everyone has different definitions for that five letter word. The medical term is defined as endorphins being released in the brain making you feel good. When I was about ten years old, I lost the ability to produce those endorphins. Being a victim of bullying throughout my childhood left me with this disease of not being “happy.” I fell in love with music and theatre but other people who shared the same interests were better than me and they made sure I knew it. I lost all motivation to do simple things such as shower, eat, clean my room, or taking care of my well being in general. I ended up slowly loosing my happiness little by little and because of that, I didn't realize the damage that was being done. It took me until I was crying myself to sleep and slicing my own skin for the ability to breath to realize, I am not okay.
By Kat Tzaras8 years ago in Psyche
Everything in Life Happens for a Reason
Why does life give you so many obstacles to overcome? Sometimes it makes it very hard to see its true beauty. Everyone has their ups and downs and sometimes the struggles keep you from doing what you love and enjoying every moment you have. My grandmother once told me that everything in life happens for a reason. At first I didn’t know what that meant. This past year has been really hard for me. But it made me look at life completely differently. All of my questions have been answered and each moment meant something very special.
By Krista Hawkins8 years ago in Psyche
