Supernatural Rescue

The first night the dark thoughts came would not be the last. In the span of a few minutes in the middle of the one fateful night, I was ready to leave this world.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to have these thoughts over a period of time. Living would become a hard-fought battle. One that takes a special kind of strength, unbeknownst to me, to win.

I couldn’t sleep. There were negative energies in my room messing with me. My thoughts raced. The struggles I’ve been through. No end in sight. The exhaustion.

The Devil once made it clear in a dream that he would come for me again and again. I grew weary thinking about it. The interminable fight. What was the point? Why continue fighting? I could just check out of this world and finally stop. That would be nice. Skip out on this shit. Press the reset button. Who says we have to see it through to the end? We don’t. I’m getting off this effing planet.

What about my parents? Ah, they’ll cope. Sure, they will be sad at first, probably for awhile, but eventually they will get on with their lives, like people always do. Some take longer than others, but they get there. They rebuild. The world stays on course.

And then, a shift. The energy changed, and a simple thought swam into my head.

Without me they would be in darkness. All all the time. I am their light.

Tears sprang and grew to uncontrollable sobs. I cried and cried. I knew I was being saved. God showed up and pulled those dark thoughts back as if they were blackout curtains.

My life underwent a three-sixty in a matter of minutes. I went from being someone who had never considered suicide to, without any calamities befalling, ready to end it right then.

I get why people decide to leave.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with a severe gut disease. I went to God out of fear of losing my large intestine. What started as prayer a couple mornings a week developed into a personal relationship with God. A lot of things weren’t going right in my life, and I figured God is the only one who knows about all of it. Now I let it all out to God regardless of whether I’m mad, sad, happy, or glad because that’s how it is with friends. You get the bad with the good.

The more I do it the more I realize God wants me to let it all out because it’s healing. My emotions are based out of a limited understanding, and so they are justified. When I’m happy I send gratitude out to the universe and God shares in my joy.

I do the physical things like go to temple, say my prayers, take part in ceremonies, etc. However, I started off spiritual and that has contributed immensely to creating a deeper connection.

Communicating and building a personal relationship with God is the best thing I’ve done for myself. Negative energies will be around to manipulate and influence people’s thoughts and emotions regardless of whether one is religious. The best defence against them is delving into spirituality. I am learning to differentiate between God and imposter energies, while God stands by to let me make mistakes so that I learn.

The feeling of safety and security in the world that comes from having a personal connection with God is an added benefit. The effect has the power to change a person’s entire personality from living behind a shield to the world to living life authentically.