Suffering

"You suffer from Depression and Anxiety." I believe these are the last words anyone really wants to hear. Constantly trying to figure out how this mental illness became a part of one’s life. The more research is completed, the more it is made clear that it is the most common mental illness mankind suffers from. Do you take medicine, go to therapy, or simply find an outlet? One may believe that if they go to therapy, others may view them differently; well, I am here to tell anyone that may be afraid of therapy, it is ok. You just must make sure that you are going in with the mindset that you wish to be made well. You want to be whole and you can be whole.

We as humans tend to care a lot about what others may think, but in doing so, it only causes one to sink further into their depression. It is easier to please self than to work hard to please others. Never allow what anyone else thinks of you to determine your life nor your journey. It’s your life and your mental illness, take control of it before it takes control of you. Speak life into yourself, as well as into your situation. The outcome will always be what you wish for it to be.

We hold the power to change things, but it always begins with the way we think and how we speak over our lives. As humans we try to take on so much to keep ourselves from feeling as though we are a burden on others, but if no one really knows how we feel, we cannot be helped. I encourage anyone who may be suffering to open and speak up. Your healing depends on it.

However, my Dad’s side of the family has a history of Depression and Anxiety. I struggled with being happy one minute, down and out the next for so long. My children began to suffer from the pain that I was in and that was something I did not want for them. I knew my healing was key to their future. Therefore, I began to seek therapy to gain an understanding of myself. I am still a work in progress, but my progression has encouraged me to share with anyone who may be suffering. May this find you and help you find your healing.

The diagnoses of Depression and Anxiety followed behind a letter suggesting that I suffered so much so I needed psychological help. I refused to believe that about myself. In that moment I began to ask questions and do research on my family history. I lost my Dad as well as his mother within six months in 2016. That year triggered my mental illness. It was not until 2017 that I began to seek therapy. I had never experienced death and for my first time to experience it, it was the two most valuable people in my life. Through the pain, it made me cherish life more.

The process has not been easy, and I still have moments that I go through depression, but I do not allow it to overtake me any longer. I began to write as well as found healthy outlets. Exercising is very good way to clear your mind and create positive energy within yourself. The more I fall in love with myself, the healthier I become. We all deserve to be made whole and I encourage anyone that reads this and may know someone suffering to not allow them to suffer silently. I wish someone had encouraged me to find my healing instead of leaving me alone when I asked to be left alone. Suffering in silence only makes things worse.

In closing, I challenge everyone who reads this to pay close attention to those you love. A lot of times people suffer and do not even know they are suffering. The signs are easy to ignore. An individual may sleep more than usual, drink, turn to drugs, and isolate themselves. On the outside looking in, it may appear normal to those who love them, but they are suffering and screaming for help on the inside. Do not allow anyone you love to suffer alone. If you think someone may be dealing with mental illness, be present with them and for them.