Seven

THE ENTHUSIAST: Busy and Fun-Loving. Spontaneous, versatile - distractible and scattered

Please, let me go. I’ve been dying to leave for a while now. The world beyond my sight is so vast that you can’t tell me it’s not begging to be explored. I’ve already made a list of all I want to do, so let’s begin already. We can start small if you want. We will search the sand to capture the smallest crabs before flying over continents to capture entire mountain ranges. We will experience it all. I’ll take all the good and even some of the bad. Someday we will look back and laugh it all away. You can call me brash, overly sanguine, or naïve, but that would just be a mark of your singlemindedness.

So, don’t dwell on the logistics. Let’s not count the risks or accumulate costs. Life is too short for that. The secret of adventure is to never track the steps behind or ahead, but to savor every footprint as it comes. The longer you stand still the more likely life will trap you. So, let’s not think about anything other than what we have to do right now, and trust me there is much we have to do. I’ll cram all that we want to do into every precious moment life has given us; as if I could summarize my entire existence into the definition of experience.

Don’t worry, I’ll get what needs to be done finished. We can accomplish anything we set our minds to, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. But I’m more than able. With unnecessary urgency, I’ll scramble to piece everything in order, and will find small-treasured satisfaction with every task crossed off the long list. I’ll do it. If I want to learn something, I will. If I want to do something, I will. It’s as simple as that. I’ll linger just long enough to get my feet sufficiently wet before moving on to the next undiscovered treasure. There is only so much time in a day and in a year after all. Let’s not waste a second.

So let me go. Don’t hold me back any longer with your predetermined notions of protocol. There is more over the horizon. I know it. I’ll keep searching the world and hunting for that golden moment. One day I’ll finally find what it is exactly that I’ve been searching for all this time. I’ll keep searching. I’ll fly from place to place with an eager stride in every step I have yet to take.

However, as I desperately search for a greater more, I’m frustratingly left with constant dissatisfaction. I feel so limited by so called “necessary” burdens that restrict and defy me. I need more open choices to feel free, yet I know I could never choose just one. The flavors are each too unique that I find myself unable to settle. In the mix of all that is available, I’m unable to pick out the right choice with confidence and am left lost and confused. You’ve accused me of being uncommitted on more than one occasion and honestly, I had no answer for you.

But I won’t let that get to me. I’ll keep climbing over this next mountain with renewed vigor and hope. I am so certain that there is more over the horizon. If life starts to feel too heavy, then I’ll just travel light. I’ll abandon the burdens and won’t take anything with me but my own enthusiasm and joy. I’ll keep desperately hunting for that feeling of true belonging and presence, even as I inevitably leave every home I’ve created.

… please… I just want to be here. For once to simply stop thinking and just be here. I want to learn how to really love you; to treasure you long enough to stay through everything. I want to be right there next to you holding your hand, and for once not pull it along. I want to pause for just one precious second and wonder if finding the world is really worth losing you.

Truly, I want to see the world, but I’m just starting to think that the better part of the world lies in you.