RETARD - Why it is time to drop this slur from your vocabulary

I am an avid gamer. And as an online gamer I have on many occasions come across people who feel it is ok to use the word 'retard' or 'retarded' to describe a type of person, who has done something wrong (mostly by accident), or to describe something that isn't correct (or going well).

Now hearing it right now, in this context, it should be enough to reflect upon that word and realise that that is enough to perhaps choose another word. (And even writing it makes me personally feel sick though I have have to for educating purposes of this text) But on most occasions it is not been reflected on. Why it could be a hurtful word and hateful word for many types of people. And as an educator for SEN I feel like this is a good opportunity to explain why we should not and do not use these words, in the easiest way possible.

1. History

To understand the meaning of the word, you have to understand the history associated with it. Throughout history many doctors and other health professionals when diagnosing children (and adults) with "retardation" - Yes it was actually a diagnosis in many places - a very poor one - which went to describe a whole manner of conditions which did not sit correctly in "normal parameters" for what a person should be. Everything from Autism, ADHD, down syndrome and any other kind of learning difficulties and special educational needs, and didn't always stop there, there was a whole list of conditions which could have tarnished you with the word. It was a word to stamp on people and class them as having an inferior mindset and have little place for these people in society. These people, on many occasions, children were by medical orders, ripped away from their families and sent away to institutions where they would undergo therapy practices which could very easily be seen as barbaric and tortuous and in modern day standards they were often just that -torture. These practices were to try teach (often a child) how to act in society, but there was little care alongside it, and huge segregation and inhumane conditions.

Sometimes lifelong. In other situations where the R word wasn't a 'diagnosed condition' but just a statement of ones personality, the person tarnished with this slur was left to live a life beneath their potential, forgotten by society as if they weren't worth a place in this world.

In some places extreme medical treatments like lobotomies were used on people with disabilities to make them act in society. There have also been cases of lobotomies being used on children to make them act in accordance to what their family wanted. This is all history you can read up on yourself and educate yourself to the disgusting nature of social care (and mental health care) through history. Whether their personal diagnosis used the R word or if they ever were called it, is irrelevant in this case because the whole point is this slur is used to describe a whole community as a whole. And more than that - the standard of what was considered "right" and what was "wrong" in society behaviour. This history isn't even hundreds of years ago. Children were often sent away to institutes in the 50's and 60's to places that just took them out of society, and hide them away from the world, and even today many institutes still exist and are still using unforgiving and questionable therapy techniques.

2. Society:

People living with special educational needs throughout history have been seen as inferior to all "normal" people of society. (I am sure you understand the tone that I use that word "normal").

They have regularly been stepped on, abused, made fun of, ridiculed and victims of our abuse and our exploitation. They have been treated as second class citizens of society. I have had people tell me that if they knew they were going to have a child with autism like my child does, they would have aborted and tried again. How does that make someone feel to know your child in the eyes of someone else, doesn't deserve to have the right to life?

Sickening really.

There have been other groups of our society who have also been wrongly treated as inferior and exploited and abused in the past (and still today are fighting their own inequality battles). We as a worldly nation are slowly correcting our wrongs of using those disgusting slurs to describe other members of our society, (If you don't quite understand what a slur is, even a younger generation website like Urban Dictionary gives a good simple explanation. This is a good time to look it up!) However, somehow this derogatory slur, the r-word, is still used casually spoken with no thought or care about it.

3. Languages

So many people who I talk to online are not primary English speakers. English is their second language. And I have personally seen a small correlation to the people who use these words to be people who are translating their native tongue. This does not mean I don't come across British people also using this slur, and when I do I try to challenge their choice of words. Whether people translating from their own language are trying to find a correct term to use and it is getting lost in translation, or whether that is actually exactly the term they want to use, and maybe it is a much widely used word in their own country, it has little relevance, because as a world, we are communicating to each other more and more, sharing knowledge, sharing history and sharing experiences and stories.

50 years from now there will be an even smaller gap in our miscommunication between languages, with many countries whose younger generations already mix English into their own sentences in with their first language to complete a sentence, and this is part of the education to bridge the gap, teach the correct terms and get to that point where you are using the correct language without intent to do damage or harm.

Which terms to use and which not to use? Did you mean that someone did something silly or foolish? Then use those terms. Did you mean that someone is mentally disabled or handicapped for doing such action and you want to ridicule them for it? That you are better than them? I would like to leave that there and think better that a person wouldn't actually be so toxic in their aim (Especially in the context of gaming online!)



4. Modern day fight

The fight we have as Special Needs families to have the same chances of life standards as everyone else is still ever present and a weekly challenge.

In this modern day fight for equality (and more importantly equity),

-Google image "Special needs Equality vs Equity" for reference point -

Change doesn't happen overnight and by us alone. Change happens because those who do not get affected by these topics personally also educate themselves and start to understand. Change starts with yourself and addressing what your mind speaks and the words and the actions you put into the world. As my children's martial arts teacher tells all her students; "Your voice is your most powerful weapon", this change starts in the same way. Changing the words you use may seem like a tiny thing, but it is a huge step in the right direction. For other groups of our society who have been victimised in the past, the change in the language we use has been a huge part of what proves to these people they are equal to everyone else in this world and deserving of their place in the world.



5. What you can do as someone who may not be personally affected by this but wants to help:

 *First of all understanding that the R-word actually comes under many definitions of what is could be classed as a hate speech term and therefore choosing not to use it again is a fundamental and important start.

*Reading more on the stories and topics of special needs families and individuals and their personal fights.

Reading more on the topic like the link provided:

https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur

* Educating anyone you come across who uses them, in a polite but informing way, that these words are slurs and not to be used in modern day society and please choose a more appropriate word to explain what you are saying.

* Don't stay silent or let it go. Communication is paramount. It is one of the most important factors of human existence. Don't let people get away with using hurtful words to an already segregated part of society.

*Please share and educate.