Reclaim What’s Yours

We spent years in silence, constantly abused and ignored. We were forced to do unspeakable acts of “craziness” our brains couldn’t understand even in our wildest imaginations.

Believe me, we tried. Confusion and pain, smirking adults all around us. Then being left with all the shame.

Suddenly we were ridiculed, branded names, shouted at, punished and hurt over and over again. It never stopped. What was going on? Why didn’t anyone help us? Why didn’t anyone come for us? Why didn’t anyone see us? We shouted, we cried, we asked for help, but nobody replied. Hey, I even saw people die! Yet nobody cared, nobody saw, nobody listened to us no more.

All that time, our bodies were slowly breaking down and started to live in survival mode. We learned not to feel and not to be. That was our reality. We learned to stay out of the way, to be invisible, come what may.

That was our childhood. We were broken before our lives really began.

Years later, we are grown up in an unforgiving fast paced world. Society expects everyone to get on the treadmill that is life.

Life in the fast lane on the freeway. We crash into a marathon at lightning speed, stuck in fast forward mode and some of us aren’t even “dressed yet.”

So how do we cope when everyone around us races ahead? Our classmates, get those good grades, scholarships and opportunities as we simply try and breathe in and out.

Life goes on.

A trauma survivor suffering from Complex PTSD, has so much to overcome before they can enjoy life.

The damage shattered our essence of being. We needed time to rebuild until we could start being like everybody else.

Most often we just let the river of life take us hurtling down the rapids of ups and downs.

It’s just too hard to feel, we keep telling ourselves. It’s better this way. We absorb what life throws at us and carry on like robots.

We exist without really noticing what is going on around us. We don’t notice people, go to events or enjoy our surroundings. We shy away and pretend. We don’t appreciate anything or anyone because we have learned long ago to switch off our feelings. Life goes on in black and white or different shades of grey — colors evade us.

The Turning Point

Then suddenly life’s “river water” calms, and we look up. We catch a ray of sunshine and we realize we want more. It feels good to bask in the sun’s rays, and so we look up some more.

The more we look up, the more we realize that we deserve so much more than just “floating” aimlessly.

Our lives do matter and we deserve to be in the driving seat.

We learn to swim and navigate those rapids and we steer away from the dangers and into shallower waters.

We take back control of our lives.

It feels good to take charge and go where we want. Not because somebody tells us to because we want to.

We are free at last.

Wherever you end up in your life journey, is the right path for you, if it makes you happy.

It’s okay to feel jealous of your friends and angry that you didn’t get your shot. Those who seemed to have it all figured out and went on to have big careers, became important and successful. Regret hits us at times when we think we could have done so much more with our lives.

If only…

In that moment, we forget how much we have conquered just to survive. We put our whole life back together after being shattered like a glass being thrown into a rock wall. We picked up each piece and put it back. It may not have gone back in exactly the right place, but the pieces got put together anyway.

What once was a square, is now a shining star. That is who you are!

How many people can say they rebuilt their lives without instructions?

We survived a childhood of unspeakable trauma, and we are still here today to tell our stories. We lived and thanks to our strength, life is bright and colorful.

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” Quote by Robert H. Schuller.

All of us survivors should go out there, every day and say YES, I did it.

I am a survivor.

I am someone and I matter.

Life is precious and you should want more, so much more. You deserve it. Go out there and take those opportunities when they come. Notice people and smile more because you’ve got this.

Life is what you make of it. Wherever it may take you, follow your heart and live.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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