Psychology Says If You Bring Up These 9 Topics in a Conversation, You Have Below-Average Social Skills

Conversations are powerful. They help us connect, build trust, and understand each other. But sometimes, without realizing it, we bring up topics that make others uncomfortable, bored, or even irritated. According to psychologists, certain subjects are strong indicators of below-average social awareness—not because the topics themselves are “bad,” but because of how and when they’re used.

In social settings, emotional intelligence matters more than perfectly chosen words. Still, knowing which topics to avoid can dramatically improve your connections and confidence. Below are nine conversation topics that psychology says often signal a lack of social skill—and what to talk about instead.

1. Constant Self-Promotion

Talking about your achievements now and then is normal. But dominating a conversation with how successful, busy, or talented you are makes others feel invisible. Psychologists call this self-focused communication, and it’s one of the biggest turn-offs in social interactions.

Try instead: Ask others about their work, hobbies, or achievements. People appreciate balanced conversations.

2. Complaints About Everything

Negativity is one of the quickest ways to drain a conversation. Constant complaining—about work, traffic, people, or the world—creates an atmosphere of stress. Research shows that chronic complaining makes people want to avoid future interactions.

Try instead: Solve a problem, share something you learned, or shift to positive topics like plans, goals, or interests.

3. Oversharing Personal Problems

Sharing personal struggles can build closeness, but only when trust already exists. Oversharing too soon can overwhelm someone and signal poor boundaries.

Try instead: Start with lighter topics. Save deeper emotional conversations for people you know well.

4. Gossip and Character Attacks

Talking negatively about others—especially mutual acquaintances—signals insecurity and low emotional maturity. Studies show that people who gossip too much are often perceived as untrustworthy.

Try instead: Talk about ideas, experiences, or things you recently learned.

5. Controversial Topics at the Wrong Time

Politics, religion, money, and identity-related issues can spark meaningful discussions—but only when everyone is comfortable. Bringing these up in casual or first-time interactions can instantly tense the room.

Try instead: Shift to universal subjects like travel, food, movies, or current events that aren’t polarizing.

6. Constant Health Problems

People care about your well-being, but listing every pain, symptom, and medical test can make others uncomfortable. Conversation scientists call this self-disclosure imbalance.

Try instead: Talk about healthy habits, new routines, or activities that make you feel good.

7. Insults Disguised as Jokes

Sarcasm and “roasting” might seem fun, but many people experience them as passive aggression. If jokes regularly make others uncomfortable, it’s a sign of weak social calibration.

Try instead: Keep humor light, warm, and inclusive.

8. One-Up Conversations

When someone shares a story and you immediately tell a bigger one—earning more, traveling more, suffering more—it shuts down connection. Psychologists call this competitive storytelling.

Try instead: Let others finish. Ask questions. Show genuine curiosity.

9. Talking Only About Yourself

If you rarely ask questions, rarely listen, or rarely show interest in others, people quickly lose engagement. Good conversation is a balanced exchange—not a monologue.

Try instead: Use the 50/50 rule: half sharing, half listening.

Why These Topics Matter

These topics aren’t “wrong”—they’re simply sensitive or emotionally heavy when used at the wrong time. The key to strong social skills isn’t perfection. It’s awareness. When we realize how our words affect others, we communicate with more confidence, empathy, and connection.

Improving conversational habits can transform relationships, careers, and even self-esteem. With small adjustments—asking questions, listening deeply, avoiding negativity—you’ll instantly feel more respected and understood.

Final Thoughts

Great social skills aren’t about being the smartest or funniest person in the room. They’re about creating comfort. When people feel comfortable around you, they remember you, trust you, and want to talk again.

By avoiding these nine topics—and replacing them with curiosity, positivity, and emotional balance—you open the door to deeper conversations and more meaningful human connections.