Psychological "Shadow" How Integrating It Into Our Everyday Lives May Pave Our Way to Eternal Freedom

"Every single person has a shadow, with the exception of the person who is fully enlightened."

If you read my first story here on vocal titled "Tough It Out", then you may already be aware of my use of the term "shadow" , or being within the "shadows."

Yes, my use of the term was used both metaphorically and literally as I have learned in the past recent years that this term is actually one coined by the Analytical school of Psychology, by their earliest pioneers, Carl Jung.

I am a firm believer that the shadow is just as much of our reality as our ego is, that main point of relevance in understanding our individual personalities.

We hear often with people who may be "full of themselves" or one of the modern psychological buzzwords of today, people who are narcissistic as individuals who are just simply difficult to get a long with, even draining or "toxic" to be around.

But have you ever considered that these people may be living out parts of themselves that they personally have never even come to terms with?

Of course, this doesn't excuse what many of them do to others as unacceptable social behavior, but it can help us to understand our own shadows and even create stronger boundaries for our own emotional well-being.

The Shadow is the part of our personalities that include all of our repressed wishes.

These parts of our personalities, if not handled properly, can overtime begin to take over our lives right under our noses.

You ever find yourself become easily agitated with someone only to find yourself overthinking about your reaction later?

Could it be that your Shadow took over your awareness in that moment of stress?

It's a thought, and an enlightening one at that to think about.

Look, the reality is, stress is apart of life, it wouldn't be life without the problems that we face on a daily-basis.

However, how we choose to perceive these problems could be a stepping-stone to understanding our own shadows.

Truth is, when we are talking to someone we find ourselves disliking, often we dislike them because those traits or characteristics that we find unattractive in them, are usually unresolved or unacknowledged traits within our own selves.

I know... a difficult, hard pill to swallow... believe me, that's what I thought the first time I learned about the Shadow, too.

That is until I started working with it and applying it to everyday life.

Growing up with a narcissistic parent I believe has helped me to understand the Shadow that much more, because those with true tendencies or even with the full-blown personality disorder, are epitomes of living, walking, repressed Shadow contents.

Narcissists are known for blame-shifting, being manipulative, hypersensitive, critical, controlling and overall difficult personalities to deal with.

At the core, they are made this way, contrary to the psychopath who is born without their empathy.

Usually, narcissists grew up either over-indulged or under-indulged by their caregivers. As in, they were conditioned to believe no one is better than themselves, or neglected entirely from being emotionally soothed by their parent.

All in all, they thrive off attention, whether that is overtly or covertly, they need it in order to sustain their fragile egos.

They are incapable of understanding emotional boundaries, as they are unconsciously always seeking to override them in order to get the attention that they unrealistically need.

As tough as it may be to work with, live with or even been parented by one of these personalities, I will say confidently that the best inner-work comes from these dark counterparts, especially when working with the shadow.

You see, the narcissist is incapable of taking responsibility or ownership of their emotions as they are always looking to other people to do that for them by manipulating, guilt-tripping or blame-shifting any given scenario.

But, as empaths or whatever you may identify yourself as, we can see through their facade by identifying when they are projecting and consoling ourselves of our own experience.

This is shadow-work in the flesh, as that very thing that makes us tick from their doing is willing and able to come out of our very selves... if we so let it.

It is there, within us.

Take charge of your reality by learning how to work with the Shadow and integrating those parts of yourselves that you have a hard time talking about, thinking about, or even feeling, through means of meditation, journaling, or talking to a mental health professional.

Guaranteed, you will see yourself bloom beyond comparison.

~Yela xx.