Piece of Mind

(Letter to Mom)

Mom,

You know that little black notebook I always have on me? I’m thinking about turning parts of it into a book and sending it in to be considered for publication. I have so many full little black books that I’ve written in since I was young. The notebook ended up feeling like part of my brain. I needed it to act as my memory since I seemed to have such a terrible one! Remember the first time I asked for a small notebook? I think I was like 12. Life got so much easier once I learned to use the notebook to remember things. There are hundreds of ideas written in all of my notebooks, from lists, to poems, to rants, and everything in between. I pulled out a few that I’m thinking of sending in. Check them out and let me know what you think? Good idea, or bad idea? I’m thinking of calling it “Piece of Mind.”

I love you!

Amy

(Here is a copy of my application letter to A and A publishing)

A and A Publishing

573 Corporate Book Lane

Chicago, IL 54223

November 20,, 2020

Dear A and A Publishing,

I’m writing to seek representation for my first publication, based on the journal entries of a 42 year-old mother recently diagnosed with ADHD.

The publication opens with an explanation describing the lack of structure behind the journal entries. The writing then proceeds to try to follow the continually bouncing mind of Attention Deficit Disordered brain. For forty-two years, the scattered reflections written down were recorded out of pure necessity. The journal was a segment of this woman’s brain as she required a way to remember things. For forty two years, she thought this was the norm. She assumed that everyone needed to write everything down in order to recall any thought. Finally, at middle age, she was diagnosed and medicated and it was as if she had been color blind her entire life and finally got those color-blind relieving glasses. She went back to look over all of the journals she had kept throughout the years and was amazed at the rantings and random content.

The publication can be as long or as short as you, the publisher, would determine. There are years of journals that can be explored in order to select the more captivating entries. While the journals are dated, there is no need to keep them in a chronological order, as the cognitive reflections of this individual does not process any notions in any type of order.

I currently am a part-time Executive Assistant, and this is my first attempt at publication. I look forward to compiling additional entries and the side explanations for this work.

I enclose a number of journal entries and a synopsis. I hope you are intrigued with the entries and look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Amy Stowell

Future Best Selling Author

This is what I included with my application letter:

My Book Proposal - (This is my opening pages idea...it is open to suggestion!)

"Though they had been asked to put together a 90-minute TV special, Seinfeld and David wrote a TV pilot as they felt their "show about nothing" concept would fit better in the shorter, more conventional half-hour format. The storyline, and the main characters, were inspired by real-life events and people.” -Wikipedia

Kind of like the Seinfeld pitch, this is a book about nothing. I’ve been taking notes and jotting things down and drawing things for as long as I can remember. Multiple attempts at poetry (attempt being the key word) shopping lists, reminders (a huge necessity due to my ADHD), story ideas, etc. You name it, I’ve written about it. This book does not leave my side. It is like a millennial with their cell phone. I feel naked if I don’t have my book on me.

If you have an aversion to incorrect grammar, common spelling mistakes or unreadable scribbles, you should probably close this book. If you don’t like chicken scratch or messy handwriting (I admit to being a messy lefty), you should probably close this book.

However, if you are interested in the way my mind works, you can open these pages. If you are interested in the inner workings of an ADHD brain that sees hidden messages and bites of knowledge in every aspect of her life, you can open these pages. If you’d like to see the deranged scribbles of an aspiring writer/creator/author, you should open this book. In these pages are the inner most thoughts and notes of someone who wants nothing more than to learn about the world and especially learn how her own brain works. Forty-two years of experience, and I feel I have just scratched the surface of what this magnificent mind can do! I live for knowledge, and believe that it’s just around the corner of every sign the Universe sends our way. This book holds the pages of a wannabe Brainiac discoverer who hates cleaning, despises schedules, is 100 % an introvert and is fascinated with the mysteries behind absolutely everything. Since my brain is still learning to stay on one subject long enough to fully examine and appreciate the answers, I figured I’d try the Seinfeld method. This is a book, about nothing.

In this Book proposal, I have enclosed just a few of the pages from my Little Black Books. There is a TON more material where this came from and we can pick and choose what we would like to include and annotate.

The list on the right hand page goes off into wonderland. Here is what it says:

Shopping List

• Bread
• Milk
• Toothpaste
• Peanut Butter
• Hershey’s Treasures….

mmmm…..so good….chocolatey, melts in my mouth...maybe I can just get the Chocolate and not buy anything else on the list?....Who discovered chocolate? How does that happen? Who thought it was ok to eat anything? How did they know what was edible and what would kill them? I believe that in past history, they thought that foods that were red were poisonous (like tomatoes! and apples! No wonder scurvy existed! I have to feed my minions though…..every single day.

There is even POETRY in the journals!

Poem from one of my many, many journals:

The twilight of day glimpsed over the waves

where shadows contoured the darkness of caves.

The sky paints a scene of a shadowed cascade

as the vanishing sun continues to fade.

With the passage of time, the sun slips away,

enveloping darkness; dissolving the day.

The sand, once golden, with a hint of a glimmer

now stands dark with no sense of shimmer.

Waters that once were bright aquamarine

now dark and mysterious; depths unforeseen.

The day we knew had withered away

when the moon arose with a creed to convey.

An additional day, just a whispered reverie.

in place of a genuine, sealed guarantee.

The moonlight breaks through, relieving the void.

restoring the sanity; the deafness destroyed.

The stars emerge slowly, piercing the night

in limitless unity with pale moonlight.

A spattering of diamonds filling the sky

seeming to travel as time floats by.

Universal miracles, it is just crystal clear

causes hope to soar and the eye shed a tear.

A trail of elation runs down the cheek,

the darkness brightened, not eerie, not bleak.

The sun, moon and stars could enlighten us all

if we would just listen; be aware of the call.

But we're too wrapped up in our tedious lives

to listen intently while the universe thrives.

One of my To Do Lists was taken over. This is what the list says, and the picture of it from the journal.

• To do:
• Vacuum
• Mop
• Dishes
• Take down Christmas Tree
• Vacuum again…
• Take Xmas stuff up to Attic
• Find Valentine Box
• Help kids with Homework
• Girls have gymnastics at 6:30
• JJ has Ninja at 7:30
• fly to Alaska
• go Bear Hunting
• Return to nature
• Become a Nudist

The Journals even have a song idea....a REALLY bad song idea, but it's in there!

Crazy bad song Idea:

…..Voice is a man's voice….kind of Kermit the Frog , but not so severe… newscaster/announcer type voice

(Talking opening - Stand up comic making jokes about dating in the 2020’s)

“Dating in the 50’s vs. dating today. You used to have to ask the question, “Are you single?” Now, you have to take notes and write a thesis in order to find out…….”

Who is no? Notes - F G E

Who is go? Notes - F G E

Who is (a) possible no show? Notes - F G A# G F G E(flat)

Who is broke? Notes - F G E

Who is sad? Notes - F G E

Who has issues with their dad? Notes - F G A# G F G E(flat)

(same notes the rest of the way, excluding chorus)

Chorus?

Who is young?

Who is old?

Whose had work? Or so I’m told!

Who is Bi?

Who is Pan?

Who is no longer a man?

Chorus?

Who is straight?

Who is gay?

Who “depends on what’s today?” or (is sexually astray?)

Who wears spanx?

Who has curves?

Who is unable to serve? (sound of failure)

Chorus?

Who is girl?

Who is boy?

Who used to go by Roy?

Chorus?

(deals with the numerous choices, dating difficulty, dating harder than it used to be, and everything appeals to me…...)

Needs work...but maybe ends with…

Why can’t (Mr., Mrs., Master, Kitty, Sensei, Daddy) perfect just walk through that door.

Pages of thoughts

A lot of the journal entries are just my brain focusing on a single topic for a few moments, like these pages:

For reference, here is what they say:

One of my absolute most favorite past-times is looking at History's Mysteries. I love looking at the unsolved stuff. Since my brain is less conditioned and has been proven to work differently than the genius scientists, maybe it can see something that the scientists miss! Sometimes the scientists are so zoomed in on the problem, that they miss some outer parts or the bigger picture.. Maybe my ADHD/Introvert brain is just simple enough to see what the scientists miss. Maybe my brain can understand the Voynich Manuscript?!? It is that book that is a centuries old manuscript that is written in either a different language or in a code. Like this:...I stare at these pages for hours….especially when I take my meds!

And....

Belief in supernatural and views

I wish that I could truly embrace and believe in the idea of the supernatural. The idea that we could harness the powers of nature, or use the energies around us to benefit us is spellbinding to me. Unfortunately, the negative connotation that comes with any of that makes me question delving into it any further. Just mention supernatural powers to someone and it’s instant disbelief and belittlement. The idea that humans could harness an energy is laughable to most of the human population. I would love to learn more about it, but fear the judgement that would be thrown at me.

And a MEGA-rant!

My thoughts on Education (after taking an ADHD med)

So, today, my kid took a chemistry test. This being a unique time, I was able to watch this test. He was tested on this chart of polyatomic ions…..

He had to memorize that NH4= Ammonium…..etc.

In my opinion, the idea of rote memorization for education is sadly old fashioned. When we were required to memorize lists like this, (back when we walked to school uphill both ways :) it was required to memorize because there was a 99% chance that you didn't have access to that list at a moment's notice. Now, every single adolescent has access to this list and a million more at all times. This list is constantly in their pocket. If at any time, any teenager was required to come up with the Formula for the polyatomic ion Ammonium, it would be 23 seconds and they could find the answer. When our education system was created, it was based on the belief that the normal person did not have access to the information needed at a moment's notice. In the past, educators and scholars would have to go to a library or ask the only known scholar for that kind of information. In the 21st Century, every single student (and person) has all of that information in their pocket at all times. In my opinion, the need for rote memorization is lost and gone. Now, we would be better off educating our students on how to ask the right questions and access the pertinent information in order to find the correct answers. I remember memorizing a series of facts for history, or a chart of formulas for chemistry to succeed in my own education. I, to this day, call my education a binge and purge. I would memorize what was required for the test, regurgitate onto the proper answer spaces and then promptly forget it. If you asked me today to take a test that I had aced in my Sophomore year of college, I can all but guarantee I’d fail. As a mother of teenagers, I believe that our educational system needs to be updated to automatically assume that students have the answers in their pockets. Critical thinking skills….YES! Those need to be taught! Rote Memorization, however, is an educational tool of the past. This will most likely make teachers jobs more difficult, but as usual, we need to keep up with the times, require teachers to technologically advance AND raise their salaries!

The application is sent, and then we wait...

and wait,

and wait,

and then...

My note to my mom said this:

Mom!

You are not going to believe this!

They loved my book idea! They wrote this letter back to me. Along with the letter, there was a contract for me to sign AND a $20,000 check! Can you believe it?! They said the check is an advance payment for the expected book sales and that it would help cover living expenses while I write the book. I am so unbelievably excited that this crazy brain of mine and the way it works is actually benefiting me for once. Time to start working on “Piece Of Mind!”

A and A Publishing

Regina Smathers

Executive Editor

573 Corporate Book Lane

Chicago, IL 54223

(435) 456-7890

[email protected]

December 19, 2020

Dear Mrs. Stowell,

I am pleased to offer you the opportunity to become a published author with A and A Publishing. This assignment is contingent on your fulfillment of the contracted activities within the timeline provided.. In accepting this opportunity, you understand you are not assured future payment for the entire publication until sales of your book reach the amounts as listed in the attached contract. Also included with this letter is an advance payment of $20,000. This confirms our intention to move forward with you in a publication partnership, and will provide you with funds that will allow you to focus your attention on this project.

This offer is contingent on completion of the publication according to the timeline attached.

To accept this offer, please sign the attached contract. Cashing the check will result in understanding that the contract is agreeable.

I look forward to your contribution to the literary world. Please continue to work with me as you coordinate your plans with the publications expected outcomes. Do not hesitate to let me know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

Regina Smathers

Executive Editor

A and A Publications

I can just imagine it on shelves now!