My Life with Anxiety

Hi, my Name is John and i'm 42.

I was diagnosed with Anxiety in July 2019.

Although i've had it for many years before, I always thought that I had Anxiety. Come to think of it, I think I had it whilst i was in School. I was always shy at school too, I was good at learning. However, when it came to do my exams I found it hard putting everything on paper. I struggled to remember what I had learned in School.

However it took me a while to realise. I think in a way, I was trying to deny that there was something wrong. I was starting do what many other people who have have Anxiety do. Cancel plans with friends, feeling anxious about the upcoming night out. I'd cancelled many events and nights out, i've even cancelled dates in the past.

I've always been shy and quiet when meeting new people. I wasn't distressed on the oustide, however on the inside I was feeling the fear and anxiety. Although I still had a smile on my face, well most of the time. I found it hard to mingle and talk to others as I wasn't confident, this included talking to Women which I found extremely hard. As I also had a fear of rejection, I think this had stemmed from being at my High School. Talking to women was not one of my strong points, i could never engage in conversation properly. I struggled with coming up with simple questions to ask, once i'd answered theirs.

I also found that it made dating difficult, which is why i finally plucked up the courage to do something about it. I decided to confront my Anxiety head on after dating someone for over a month or so.

It took a lot of guts for me to actually ring the Doctors, and finally admit that I had Anxiety. Once I had phoned them and got an appointment to see my doctor, it felt like I had finally broke free from the weight of it all. After the initial appointment at my doctors, I was prescriped medication. It felt good to actually explain how I was feeling too. Once i started taking the medication prescribed to me by my Doctor, all the feelings and emotions I once felt years ago started to come back. I didn't ever know they had gone anywhere, it's as if I was feeling numb.

Since I was diagnosed with Anxiety, and taking medication for it I found dating to be a little easier. I was starting to get my confidence back, as i've not had much confidence since my early 20's. I don't even think I that had much confidence whilst I was in School. I had gone on a few dates, and I felt better about myself for once. I started going out more and actually talking to women, something i've not really done in years. It felt great.

Nights out every weekend made me happier, something I hadn't felt for a long time. It gave me a chance to dance, go out with friends and mingle with peopleI wouldn't have thought to mingle with before.

Everyday I wake up was usually the same, now that i've confronted my fears everyday I wake up is never the same. I actually like going to work, something i've not felt since at least 2010. I was suffering from depression for a while since 2011, along with depression comes anxiety. Both of theses words come hand in hand. Depression wasn't something that I thought i'd ever face, i've had my dark moments. I still do, but I can't go through life being depressed all the time.