My Dark Guardian Angel

The wind pushed against my face; I felt weightless. Suddenly, I stopped. I opened my eyes and saw the ground near my face. Looking up, I became aware that everything that frozen. My dress and hair were frozen flying in ripples behind me, and the leaves on the trees were frozen in a paused wind. I didn’t know what was happening; I had never died before, maybe this was normal. I heard a slow clapping, breaking through the silence. I looked around to find the source, but I didn’t see one.

“Amaleigh, now you’ve done it.” A voice said accusingly.

“Who’s there?” I demanded, “What’s happening?”

Out of the shadows stepped a tall, thin man dressed all in black. His face was gaunt but not sickly; his hands were slender, and his fingers long. His dark hair sat almost unmoving on his head. If I had seen him in any other circumstance, I probably would have assumed he was a rich gentleman due to his nice suit and shiny shoes. But I knew this thing was no gentleman. Although his presence demanded respect, I did not fear him. There was something about him.

“Who are you? What do you want with me?”

He walked toward me slowly, his hands folded behind his back, without saying a word. When he reached me, he knelt in front of me and looked at me sadly.

“Oh, Amaleigh, don’t you remember me?”

“How would I? I never met you!”

“Oh, but you did.” He reached to put his hand on my head; I tried to stop him, but I couldn’t move.

Before I knew what was happening, my mind was flooded with long forgotten memories. This man in front of me had been my childhood “imaginary” friend. All the times he saved me from my own oblivion and clumsiness. He fished me out of a few streams or creeks, he caught me when I fell from trees, and he watched my parents fight to know when to take me outside. He was my guardian angel. When the memories stopped flooding, and my sight cleared again, I looked up at him with misty eyes.

“Orias.”

“Ah,” he said, straightening up a bit. “You do remember me. That’s good, especially after all the good I did for you.” He seemed to be trying to hide a smile.

“What is happening?” I asked again.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Orias waved his hand slightly and I was moved into a standing position on the ground.

I glanced up at the window I had fallen from and saw Kelsie being pulled away from it by Daniel. I wished she hadn’t been there; I didn’t want her to carry this with her forever. But she had Daniel to help her through; what did I have?

“What you did there was mighty foolish, Amaleigh.”

I turned to face Orias again and slowly shook my head in disbelief. “How so?”

Orias took his time in answering. He walked towards me as slow as humanly possible, or rather, demonly possible. He didn’t say a word until his face was inches away from my own. The silence was unbearable.

“Well, now you’re about to die. I’d say that’s pretty foolish, wouldn’t you?”

“Not really,” I sighed. “It’s not like it’s an accident this time.”

“I’ve saved you from all your accidents when you had no one, but why are you doing this now when you’re no longer alone?”

I wrinkled my nose at him, which involved me lifting my head almost all the way as Orias was much taller than me. “I’ve got nothing to lose.”

Orias’ eyes drifted up toward Kelsie and Daniel in the window with a smirk. He pointed smugly, wagging his slender fingers slightly. “I’d say they have something to lose.”

I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach and it made me feel sick. “Nothing of much value,” I practically whispered, looking down at my bare feet.

Orias lifted my chin and forced me to look at him. “All these years I’ve tried to show you your value every day.” His expression dripped with regret. “Did you never get it?”

I thought back to conversations we’d had, the tea parties I had forced him to partake in, and the long days in the canoe on the river. It had been years since I had even thought about my childhood. It was too painful. One memory that stood out the most was one of the days Orias had ushered me outside as my parent’s argument started increasing in volume and tension.

***

It was a sunny day, and I remember being mad that the world could be so beautiful while my life was such a mess. But at least I had Orias to spend time with. He had taken me down the hill in the backyard and onto the dock on the river. I remembered lying on my stomach, stretching my hands out to play with the water. Orias sat next to me, leaning against a dock post, his eyes closed in the sun.

“Orias?” I asked absentmindedly: “Why are my parents fighting?”

Orias took a moment before answering, choosing his words carefully. “They do not get along much. They don’t see the value in the other person anymore, and they value themselves and their own opinions over those of the other. They no longer communicate, they just talk.”

“Why is that?”

“It could be any number of reasons,” Orias sighed, sitting up slightly to face me better. “From what I see, they didn’t know enough about each other when they were married to fully value each other. Now that the novelty of the relationship has worn off, they’re realizing they don’t get along on the important things. They’ve come to value themselves over the person they said they loved.”

I thought about that for a moment, pushing myself into a sitting position and looking up into Orias’ serious face. “Do you value me?”

“Of course,” he said without missing a beat.

“Will you stop wanting to be my friend one day?”

Orias reached out his slender hand and rubbed the top of my head gently. “Of course not, because I know your true value.”

“What value?” I asked eagerly.

“I’ve seen your future: you can do great things one day.”

***

I looked up at Orias skeptically, taking a step backwards. “You said I would do great things; look at all the “good” I’ve accomplished.”

“I said you could.”

“What difference does that make? I’ve done nothing; I am doing nothing.”

Orias chuckled. “You’ve never been one for seeing the bigger picture.”

“Can you please speak more directly?”

Putting his hands up defensively, Orias continued. “Just because you haven’t reached your potential by the time you thought you would point doesn’t mean you won’t at all.”

“But I don’t match up to the people around me,” I cried. “Take Kelsie and Daniel for example. Kelsie is starting her teaching job in a few months, something she has worked for years to be able to do because she loves it; Daniel is working as a tech assistant, also something he loves. Not to mention that they’re getting married early next year! They’re secure, they’re in love, they’re doing what they love. I love nothing.”

Orias stared at me in silence for a moment before sighing and walking over to a nearby bench. He sat down with a thud and rubbed his face with his hands.

“Nothing depends on me, so nothing will miss me when I’m gone. I don’t have anyone but Kelsie and Daniel, and they have each other. Even you left me.”

“I never left you, Amaleigh,” Orias snapped. “You simply stopped wanting to see me.”

“You left me when my parents divorced, and I moved away with my mom. I never saw you after that.”

Orias titled his head to the side and looked at me with a tired look. “How many times did you get into trouble that you miraculously survived? For example: the time you almost ran into traffic on your bike, but you hit a bump and fell off the bike onto the grass and walked away with barely a scratch.”

“That was…you?” I asked, starting to rethink my past.

Orias stood and strode towards me. “Or that time you missed the bus and later found out it had careened off the bridge.”

“Orias,” I breathed.

“When you woke up on the train right before your stop. When you met Kelsie by bumping into her on accident. I could go on and on.” Orias was standing near me, towering over me with his height.

“Orias, I-”

“I never left you; you left me,” he growled.

“I was angry,” I said before knowing what I was saying. “You told me everything would be fine, but my parents divorced, I had to move to a new place, and I never saw my father again. I was mad that you had lied to me, and I didn’t want to see your face again.”

“But everything was fine. Your parents stopped arguing all the time, you met Kelsie when you moved to this town, and you were never beaten by your father again.”

I stood shocked: I’d never thought of it that way. I glanced up at the window again seeing the fear in the eyes of the only human who had loved me unconditionally. Guilt racked my body, and I fell into a sobbing heap on the ground. My shoulders shook with each sob, and my hands were shaking. I felt a strong arm around my shoulders, and I looked up to see Orias holding me against his chest.

“Do you understand now what I’ve been telling you all these years?”

I nodded slowly. “I think so.”

“Then I offer you a choice,” Orias told me, rising slowly. “You can continue on this path that you chose and spend eternity in the afterlife, or I can give you another chance.”

My eyes lit up, and I shot to my feet. “How?”

“I may just be a demon, but I’ve got some tricks up my sleeves.”

“What will happen?”

“I can reverse time, no more than a few minutes though, so the farthest back I can go is just before you jump. Kelsie and Daniel will be able to pull you in from the window, and you will live, but you will still have gotten up on that ledge.”

“Will I remember this?” I asked quickly.

“If you want to.”

I nodded slowly. “Will I ever see you again?”

“If you want to,” Orias said with a smirk, reaching out his hand. “You have to want it though. No one can want it for you.”

Smiling back at him, I closed the distance and wrapped my arms around his waist. Orias seemed taken aback at first, but he wrapped his arms around me too. I felt my fear wash away as I stepped back. Orias extended his hand again and I took it.

“Thank you,” I whispered as Orias turned back the clock.

I was standing in the windowsill again, I could hear Kelsie and Daniel begging me to stop, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t go back, and I did not want to go forward. The first thing I could move was my hand, but only enough to reach back toward my friends. Daniel grabbed my hand in an instant and pulled me off the windowsill. He sat me on the floor, leaning my back against the wall. Kelsie ran forward and wrapped me in her arms.

“Never do that again,” she pleaded.

I looked across the room to where Orias was leaning against the fireplace mantel, his arms crossed, watching us all. I knew that I would never be alone again, for as long as he still cared, and I had no reason to believe he would ever stop.

“I won’t,” I assured Kelsie, leaning into her embrace.