Mirror...Mirror on the Wall

Mirror...Mirror on the Wall

Who am I to write pieces on a subject like Vanity? Afterall, aren’t we told that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? If that is true, then why are we bombarded with images of women that someone else thinks are beautiful?

My profession, before the pandemic began in March 2020, was as a skin care specialist working in a high-profile medical spa in New York. I am a licensed esthetician with over 20 years of experience in the medical-based skin care niche. You see a wide range of people walking through the doors of a Medispa, each with their own unique story to tell, but most of them are there to feel better about themselves by “fixing” something they don’t like when they look in a mirror.

That damn mirror! We tell ourselves stories about who we are, our worth, and where we fit in or don’t fit in based on what we see reflected back at us. Now don’t get me wrong, the mirror is a very useful tool for showing the obvious: those unwanted prickly hairs on the chin or upper lip that we can feel but can’t pull out without the help of our trusty mirror and a good pair of tweezers.

I should thank the mirror for all its hard work, without it I would not have been employed for over 20 years. In that time, however, I was schooled by my clients’ and I have learned A LOT! For instance, I learned early on that a female defines herself by her appearance first and foremost. In part, I suspect from television and print ads. Of course, there are always exceptions to any rule but 98% of my clients came in to address something related to their appearance. This is not some huge news flash, but it is worth mentioning because I was not aware of just how much importance is placed on looks.

Let me divert for a moment into a semi-rant about the beauty industry and its use of psychological warfare to develop insecurities in the minds of the unsuspecting populace in North America. I cannot speak for other countries but within the continental United States, the use of “marketing”, and I use that term very loosely, preys on insecurity to part us from our money. I am a victim of this as much as any other, so I feel I have some skin in this game making it fair for me to comment on it. There is a reason why the beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar business. Everyone has their hands out with promises of better hair, better skin, flatter tummy, wrinkle-free foreheads, hairless legs and underarms, etc. This money train will continue until we, individually, realize the system is rigged and jump off.

I am, by no means, suggesting that we should stop buying shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, and soap which I consider mainstays in routine hygiene. In my role, as a skin care specialist, I was expected to “sell” pumps and jars costing upwards of $75 or more that would “make your skin beautiful” and I hated it! I felt like a thief, you know, like one of those old-time guys selling snake oil out of the back of a carriage. Anyway, I am done ranting…for now.

I told many of my clients; “STOP SPENDING SO MUCH TIME IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR!” It was probably not good for business but, luckily, money is rarely my main motivation. I am motivated by a desire to help others. It was always a good day in the clinic when a client would come out of my treatment room smiling and happy. Surprisingly, that happiness usually had very little to do with their skin. I felt a sense of accomplishment when they would leave the room without looking in the mirror before walking out. All treatment rooms were set up to relax our clients and soft lulling music was piped in to enhance the experience. All rooms also had…you guessed it, an enormous mirror. All the work it took to unravel the “world influence” for a mere hour or so could easily be undone by a quick glance at ones’ reflection before exiting the treatment room. That enormous mirror had, and still has, enormous power over most people. How do we take that power back?

I am not a miracle worker, a guru, or motivational speaker BUT what I do have is the ability to see the potential, and beauty, in every person I come into contact, whether in the treatment room or in line at the grocery. I choose to use my power for good; so please…if you are going to look into that mirror, tell the person looking back at you that they are loved, just the way they are…