Mental Illness

I starting writing as a way to express myself and to get things out of my head. I write a lot to cope with depression. I have what they call mixed bi-polar. I am on meds for it. Seroquel is my friend, when I can take it. I say when cause when I take it I feel great I feel like me again, But I have a child that is learning to sleep, so I was off my meds for about three weeks. Those three weeks were crazy. I cycle moods quickly a lot of times. When in depression I don't care what I look like at all, I barely will brush my hair or do my make-up. I can't get off the couch, unless I have to. I won't want to do anything in all honestly I just want to sleep. My house will not be up to code with even myself and this causes problems when I cycle out of depressed mood cause it cause aniexty issues and feeling of overwhelming. I will think I am not good enough for anyone in my life, and I will be withdrawled from people and things I normally would enjoy.

However I love the hyper mania stage cause than I get so much energy everything goes back to normal and I am my happy go lucky self again. I get the house looking great in one day. I will continue to find things around the house to do, I won't be so tired and I can go without sleep and still feel hyper. I can move super fast and get a lot down in just two hours and dinner will be done most likely early as I ran out of things to do. My mind will be racing and that means writings my get done as well. I am writing this one in a hyper mania stage so please bare with me, in these moods I tend to go from one subject to another. I am going to start writing on a note book after this one so I can copy and paste so that way I know what belongs on what one.

Depression seriously sucks as you think about so much negative about yourself your not good enough for anyone. You can't make any happy. No-one would miss you if you were gone. Everyone is better off without you. You feel like a burden to the people you love. Your looks ain't what you want. No-one could ever love you. Well I am here with you and you know what? Your family loves you they would miss you. If you have kids they need you and they would be broken if you did any harm to yourself. You are good enough, just some people are not meant for you. You are worth living and being happy and healthy. So pick up the pieces little by little and slowly pick yourself up off the floor and slowly get out of that depression hole. You are needed here on earth. I have taken up writing to help with depression, and hopefully made a little extra money by sharing my thoughts. If you would like please tip me for my writings. Also please check out my other writings I done already before this one. Thanks so much and please heart any that you like so I know more about what people like to see more of.