Mental Health & the Black Community

Hey guys, I thought I would share with you the tough moments that I've had to deal with fighting anxiety and depression. Maybe I can help someone along the way who's new to this and doesn’t know what to do or doesn’t have anyone to talk to. These are just some things that I've experienced and how I've dealt with them. Thank God for me these moments sometimes don't last long. I knew something was wrong when I started having palpitations (heart flutters) when I got angry or stressed. I overlooked it for a few weeks then I exploded.

I was working at the dollar store and the temporary store manager was rude coming in and was making me very angry. She decided to tell other employees what I was gonna do and that I wasn't leaving until some other work had been done. I was like ok I'm gonna show her better than I can tell her lol. I started having palpitations then uncontrollable crying and heavy breathing. At this point, I was ready to slap her face off. I eventually calmed down some minutes later still not knowing what was happening. At the end of my shift, I clocked out stood in the door cursed them out, flipped them off and left. What I did next I knew at that point baby you go problems. I called and asked what my schedule was the next day. They said we thought you quit so we didn't put you on the schedule, I was like that's cool I got another job anyway. Y'all I was tripping lol.

I went to the doctor because the palpitations continued and I was having headaches and was told that I'd been suffering from anxiety. The doctor wrote me a prescription for ”happy pills” after he gave me the rundown on the medicine, you have to take it for ten days in order for it to start working, if you stop taking it basically you're gonna crash, and it could cause suicidal thoughts. Then he said but you don't seem like to type to want to commit suicide (insert the shocked look on my face). Baby I took that prescription and never got it filled. That was about ten years ago. Today I know how to manage my attacks through breathing and herbal remedies. Please don't take that stuff unless that's the only proven thing that works for you. I am not a doctor but I believe there are safer natural ways to manage a number of things.

I remember having a panic attack out of nowhere while I was frying pork chops. I was on the phone so I said hold on I'm having a panic attack because I got quiet and the person on the other end kept saying hello. All he said was ok, baby I was hot! I'm over here crying and breathing hard and all you got to say is ok? After I shook back I was like I'm gonna call you back, it took me a day to call back. So I've had to deal with these things by myself most of the time. Yeah I had people to vent to but they didn't understand what was actually going on, but I had a listening ear when I needed one.

Postpartum depression was the worst thing mentally that I've ever had to deal with. I was in denial my whole pregnancy. I wasn't where I wanted to be so I wasn't ready to be a mom. I felt like I was gonna fail my kid because me and his dad we're not in a good place and I didn't want to bring a child into the world in a toxic environment. I knew that he was on the way and it wasn't anything I could do so I had to put my big girl panties on. Thank God for my family, I would've been so lost. My mom came down and stayed like a week or two when I got ready to have him so that was her baby. I would tell my mama come get him and I would just look at him and cry sometimes. I still do! Don't get me wrong I love my baby and I did from the beginning, I just didnt know how to connect or how to feel. When my mom left to go back home I cried because I felt like I'm not gonna know what to do. The crying lasted for a year, yes I was in postpartum depression or some type of depression for a year! My kid is my best friend and thinks I'm the best mom in the world even when I have to discipline him. I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far, again without my village I don't know what I would do. I am truly blessed.

Anxiety and depression, I deal with these things often. As I'm typing this I've been dealing with depression all week, I hadn't been to work but two days. I deal with it without medication because I refuse to be a zombie. I do deep breathing to help keep me calm, breathing is a great management tool during a panic attack. You're not going to always know what's going to trigger an anxiety attack but sometimes you have factors that you know of that causes those anxiety attacks. Try to avoid those things or remove those things or people completely. Finding a place where you can be in silence and meditate, read, draw, or write can help also.

Dealing with depression is harder for me because I like to isolate myself and I don't want to talk or anything, just leave me alone. Let me be sad and cry in peace. Now when all else fails Mary Jane will help you relax and snap back to reality pretty quickly. I know for me it worked. Especially when I would have those chronic headaches which cause nausea and over the counter meds aren't helping.

Anxiety and depression is definitely something you don't want to deal with alone because you need a support system. That support system should never be there to judge you or make you feel worse. They are there to encourage you and help you shake back. When you're already feeling alone, sad, frustrated, and whatever else you may be feeling you don’t need any additional negativity. In the black community it's hard dealing with these things because nobody wants to talk about mental health. They tell you to pray about it and you'll be fine. I'm a Christian, yeah I believe in the Trinity but I also live in the now, in reality. I'm sad, mad, frustrated, and feeling like a failure and I've prayed but I still need someone to listen to me and let me vent and not judge what I say and just encourage me and still pray for me and with me.

MEN! You matter too! Men are slept on and overlooked when it comes to mental health, especially black men. The world thinks men are supposed to be strong all the time. No, men are emotional creatures also. They try to vent to their friends and are sometimes told quit being soft so they have no one to vent to which leads to depression and other things.

Men get you a support system and let that hurt and anger go. Stop bottling things up and then when you explode the situation can't be controlled. Holding things in cause you to become bitter, angry, and toxic! Mental health awareness in men, women, and children especially in the black community is something that need to be talked about so we can heal our communities and put our families back together so they're stronger and they stay together.

Again I am not a doctor or mental health specialist or anything like that. I was going through some things myself and started writing and thought I could maybe help someone and give you a little laugh also through my stories. Hopefully I was able to help someone or make someone fell better, even if it’s one person I’m ok with that. That’s a soul saved!

Wishing you nothing but peace ✌

Terrica S.