ME vs ME

Hello everyone, my name is George, although my friends usually call me Georgi. I had a lot of friends, or at least I used to. I don't want to give the impression that I never had any friends or anything, because that's not true. Only as time passed, those friendships somehow disappeared.

I honestly enjoyed the company of my friends, but gradually we started drifting apart. It was clear to me that these were not the right people for me. Let's face it, being in a friendship where you're the only one who consistently shows reliability, helpfulness, and respect can be pretty daunting. At worst, you feel like they're constantly undermining you or abandoning you when you need them the most. It's like getting painful wounds that hit you right where it hurts.

As the years went by, the once vibrant connections I had with my friends began to wither away. We grew apart, and our interests and values no longer aligned. The meaningful conversations and shared experiences we used to have became distant memories. It was disheartening to realize that the friendships I cherished were slipping through my fingers, leaving me feeling isolated and alone.

The hardest part was when I found that one person whom I considered my best friend. I became so attached to this individual that I began to overlook their flaws and see them only through rose-colored glasses. In my mind, they could do no wrong. I invested all my trust, time, and energy into that friendship, neglecting other aspects of my life. But eventually, those glasses had to come off, revealing the true nature of the person I held in such high regard.

It was a painful realization when I discovered that my best friend was not the person I thought they were. They let me down, betraying my trust and showing little regard for my well-being. It was a devastating blow that shattered my faith in friendships. I questioned whether I could ever find someone who would truly understand and support me.

That pattern seemed to repeat itself in all my friendships. I listened attentively to my friends' problems and offered them advice and support whenever they needed it. However, when it came to my own struggles and challenges, they seemed disinterested or unavailable. It was a one-sided dynamic that left me feeling emotionally drained and unfulfilled.

Perhaps if I had taken the time to reflect on these patterns or sought guidance, I could have avoided the dark tunnel that seemed to consume my world. Maybe there were warning signs I overlooked, indicators that these friendships were not built on a solid foundation. But hindsight is a powerful force, and it's only now that I recognize the need to seek help and gain a deeper understanding of myself and what I truly deserve in a friendship.

So here I am, standing on the edge of uncertainty, feeling like a train is barreling straight towards me. It's not a literal train, but a metaphorical one that represents the challenges and disappointments life throws our way. It symbolizes the pain of broken friendships and the fear of opening myself up to new connections, afraid of being hurt again.

But despite it all, I refuse to lose hope. I believe that there are good people out there who can be genuine friends. I'm learning from my past experiences, understanding my own worth, and looking forward to finding true companionship with those who will appreciate and respect me for who I am. And maybe, just maybe, that light at the end of the tunnel is closer than I think. It's a glimmer of hope that fuels my determination to keep searching for meaningful connections, knowing that someday I will find the friendships I've always longed for.