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Most recently published stories in Psyche.
The Body Remembers What the Mind Tries to Forget: My Journey Through Somatic Trauma
My neck went out on a completely ordinary Wednesday. I wasn't lifting anything heavy. I wasn't in an accident. I simply turned my head to check my blind spot while driving, and suddenly, searing pain shot down my spine. By the time I pulled over, I could barely move. Three doctors, two physical therapists, and countless medical tests later, no one could find anything structurally wrong with me. "Probably stress," they said with a shrug, handing me muscle relaxers and sending me home. But I wasn't stressed. Not consciously, anyway. Work was fine. My relationship was stable. Life was, on paper, good. What none of us realized was that my body was holding a conversation my mind had been trying to avoid for fifteen years. The Accident I Thought I'd Survived I was nineteen when the car accident happened. A drunk driver ran a red light and T-boned us on a rainy November night. My best friend walked away with bruises. I walked away with a concussion and whiplash that healed within weeks. "You're so lucky," everyone said. And I believed them. I went back to college, back to my life, back to normal. I didn't have nightmares. I didn't avoid driving. I didn't think about it much at all. Except my body never forgot. For fifteen years, I'd been living with unexplained symptoms that no doctor could quite piece together. Chronic neck tension that no amount of massage could release. A startle reflex so sensitive that unexpected sounds made me jump out of my skin. Difficulty sleeping through the night. A vague sense of unease I couldn't name or explain. I'd learned to live with these things, treating each symptom as a separate annoyance rather than pieces of a larger puzzle. Until my neck gave out, and a trauma-informed therapist finally asked me the question no one else had: "Tell me about any accidents or injuries you've had." When the Body Becomes the Vault "Trauma lives in the body," she explained during our first session. "Your mind might move on, but your nervous system stays stuck in that moment of threat. Your body is still bracing for an impact that happened fifteen years ago." I wanted to argue. I'd processed the accident. I'd dealt with it. I was fine. But as she guided me through a body scan exercise, asking me to notice sensations without judgment, I felt it—a bone-deep tension in my shoulders, a tightness in my chest, a perpetual bracing as if I were permanently waiting for collision. My body had been screaming at me for over a decade, and I'd been too busy living in my head to listen. She taught me about implicit memory—how traumatic experiences get encoded differently than regular memories. When something terrible happens, especially something sudden and life-threatening, your brain doesn't have time to process it normally. Instead, the experience gets fragmented and stored as sensations, emotions, and physical responses. Your mind might forget the details. Your body never does. The Map of My Trauma Over the following months, my therapist helped me create what she called a "body map" of my trauma. We identified where I held different emotions and memories physically. My neck and shoulders: the bracing, the eternal waiting for impact, the hypervigilance. My jaw: the anger I'd never expressed, the screams I'd swallowed, clenched tight for fifteen years. My chest: the fear that had solidified into chronic shallow breathing, never quite getting a full breath. My stomach: the anxiety that manifested as digestive issues, my gut literally "tied in knots." My hands: trembling whenever I felt unsafe, my body's first line of alarm. Each physical symptom wasn't random. Each was a chapter in a story my body had been trying to tell while my mind insisted everything was fine. The Language of Sensation Learning to listen to my body felt like learning a foreign language. I'd spent my entire life prioritizing thoughts over feelings, logic over intuition, mind over matter. But my therapist insisted: "You can't think your way out of trauma. You have to feel your way through it." She taught me somatic exercises—simple practices that helped me reconnect with physical sensations I'd been dissociating from for years. Placing one hand on my heart and one on my belly, just breathing and noticing. Slowly rolling my head from side to side, paying attention to where I felt resistance. Shaking out my hands and arms, literally releasing stored tension. At first, it felt ridiculous. How could these simple movements address something as serious as trauma? But then something shifted. During one session, as I practiced a gentle neck rotation, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion. Tears poured down my face. My whole body started shaking—not from pain, but from release. "That's it," my therapist said softly. "Your body is finally discharging what it's been holding. Let it happen." For twenty minutes, I shook and cried and made sounds I didn't recognize. It felt primal, uncontrolled, terrifying—and somehow, necessary. When it passed, my neck had more range of motion than it had in months.
By Ameer Moavia10 days ago in Psyche
The Ghosts That Wait: Understanding Why Old Wounds Bleed in New Moments
It was just a Tuesday. Nothing special, nothing traumatic. I was standing in line at my usual coffee shop, scrolling through emails, half-present in the mundane rhythm of my morning routine. And then I heard it—a man's laugh from somewhere behind me. Deep, familiar, with that particular cadence that made my chest tighten. My hands started shaking. My breathing became shallow. Tears burned behind my eyes for no reason I could immediately name. The laugh wasn't his. The man wasn't him. My ex-fiancé lived three thousand miles away and we hadn't spoken in five years. I'd done the therapy. I'd done the healing work. I'd moved on, fallen in love again, built a beautiful life. So why was I standing in a coffee shop at nine in the morning, fighting the urge to run, feeling like I was drowning in pain I thought I'd left behind? The Myth of Linear Healing We're told that healing is a journey with a clear destination. You process the trauma, you do the work, you move forward, and eventually, you arrive at "healed." Past tense. Complete. Done. Nobody tells you that healing isn't a straight line—it's a spiral. You circle back to the same wounds at different altitudes, seeing them from new perspectives, feeling them with different intensities. You can be genuinely okay for months or years, and then something small—a song, a scent, a stranger's laugh—rips the scab off a wound you didn't even know was still there. After the coffee shop incident, I went home and canceled my meetings. I spent the day curled up on my couch, crying about a relationship that ended half a decade ago, feeling stupid and weak and confused. "I thought I was over this," I told my therapist later that week. "Why is this happening now?" She smiled with the gentle patience of someone who'd heard this question a thousand times. "You are over it. But your nervous system has a longer memory than your conscious mind. It's trying to protect you from something it thinks might happen again." The Body's Archive Our bodies are remarkable archivists. They catalog every moment of fear, every instance of heartbreak, every second of helplessness we've ever experienced. Not to punish us, but to protect us. This is what trauma specialists call implicit memory—emotional and sensory information stored below conscious awareness. When you experience something painful, your brain doesn't just file it away with a neat label and a timestamp. It creates an entire sensory network of associations: sounds, smells, times of day, tones of voice, patterns of behavior. Years later, when something in your present environment matches something from that network—even loosely—your body sounds the alarm before your conscious mind even registers the connection. That laugh in the coffee shop? My nervous system recognized it as a threat signature from my past. It didn't matter that my conscious mind knew I was safe. My body remembered betrayal, and it was trying to protect me from experiencing it again. The Triggers We Don't See Coming The cruelest thing about resurfacing pain is its unpredictability. You brace yourself for the obvious triggers—anniversaries, familiar places, certain songs. But then you're blindsided by things you never saw coming. A friend's wedding sent me into a spiral of grief about my father's death, even though he'd been gone for seven years. The smell of cigarette smoke in a parking lot transported me instantly to my childhood, to feelings of fear and uncertainty I thought I'd processed. A colleague's dismissive tone in a meeting triggered shame from bullying I experienced in middle school, decades ago. Each time, I'd feel ambushed. Each time, I'd question whether I'd actually healed at all or if I'd just been fooling myself. But I was learning something crucial: the pain resurfacing doesn't mean the healing didn't happen. It means there are layers. Healing isn't about erasing the past—it's about changing your relationship with it.
By Ameer Moavia10 days ago in Psyche
The Weight of Words Never Spoken: What Happens When We Bury Our Emotions Alive
For years, I smiled through the pain, convinced that silence was strength. It wasn't until my body started screaming what my mouth refused to say that I learned the true cost of swallowing my truth. The panic attack hit me in the middle of a Tuesday morning meeting. One moment I was nodding along to quarterly projections, and the next, my chest tightened like someone had wrapped steel cables around my ribcage. My hands trembled. The room spun. I couldn't breathe. Twenty faces stared at me as I mumbled an excuse and stumbled out, convinced I was dying. The ER doctor's words still echo in my mind: "Physically, you're fine. But your body is trying to tell you something." I wanted to laugh. My body had been screaming at me for years. I just hadn't been listening. The Art of Pretending I learned early that emotions were inconvenient. Crying made people uncomfortable. Anger made me difficult. Sadness was selfish when others had it worse. So I became an expert at the smile that didn't reach my eyes, the "I'm fine" that meant anything but. When my father left without saying goodbye, I swallowed my abandonment and wore a brave face for my mother. When my best friend betrayed my trust, I pushed down the hurt and pretended it didn't matter. When my boss belittled me in front of colleagues, I buried my humiliation under layers of professional composure. I told myself I was being strong. Mature. Rising above it all. What I was actually doing was building a pressure cooker inside my chest, adding more heat every time I chose silence over honesty, more tension every time I said "it's okay" when it absolutely wasn't. When the Body Keeps Score The human body is remarkably honest. It will express what the mouth refuses to say. My suppressed emotions didn't disappear—they just found other ways to speak. The chronic headaches that no medication could touch. The insomnia that left me staring at the ceiling at 3 AM, mind racing with thoughts I wouldn't let myself think during daylight. The digestive issues that doctors couldn't explain. The inexplicable fatigue that made even simple tasks feel mountainous. I visited specialist after specialist, searching for a physical explanation for what was actually an emotional rebellion. My body had become a museum of unexpressed feelings, each symptom a exhibit of something I'd refused to process. The panic attacks became more frequent. My immune system weakened. I'd catch every cold, every flu, as if my body was too exhausted from managing my emotional lockdown to defend against anything else. The Breaking Point The Tuesday morning panic attack was my breaking point, but it wasn't the beginning. It was just the moment I could no longer ignore what had been building for decades. That night, alone in my apartment, I finally let myself feel. Not just the fear from the panic attack, but everything I'd been storing in the vault of my chest. The grief. The rage. The disappointment. The loneliness. The hurt.
By Ameer Moavia10 days ago in Psyche
The Night I Understood Football
I didn’t go to the game expecting hope. It was a cold November Thursday. My brother had just lost his job. My nephew hadn’t spoken in days after a school incident. The world felt heavy, and the last thing I wanted was to watch a mismatch—our hometown team facing a dynasty that hadn’t lost in months.
By KAMRAN AHMAD10 days ago in Psyche
The Emotional Impact of Growing Up Unloved
Nina was thirty-four when someone asked her what she needed, and she realized she didn't know how to answer. Her friend had noticed she looked exhausted—working sixty-hour weeks, managing everyone's problems, never saying no to anyone. "What do you need right now, Nina? How can I help?" Nina opened her mouth. Closed it. Felt panic rising. "I'm fine. I don't need anything." But that wasn't true. She was drowning. She just had no idea what she needed because no one had ever asked before. And more fundamentally, she'd learned by age seven that her needs didn't matter.
By Ameer Moavia11 days ago in Psyche
Everyone's Pro-Mental Health Until... . Content Warning.
Welcome to the unpopular opinions realm of my articles. As I've said, I'm going to try and keep these short but of course, if it's something I've been researching then be prepared for me to go on a bit. I won't keep you here for too long. Remember: there's no set schedule for these, they'll pop up if and when I'm into writing one.
By Annie Kapur11 days ago in Psyche
Society Often Teaches Us to Suppress Our Sad Feelings, Branding Them as Negative.. Top Story - January 2026. Content Warning.
Allow yourself the time to feel, process, and let go. What a journey we’ve traveled together. You can relate to that pain that appears out of nowhere and wants to linger in our minds. Once fear moves in, it takes root—spreading doubt, loneliness, and confusion It’s that kind of pain that overtakes your mental health, gradually making a home within you. Your thoughts can create a space filled with fear, a feeling that we often cling to because it’s the one our minds use against us—leading to a fierce battle between your thoughts and your feelings. It’s a struggle no one wants to lose, yet losing yourself feels like an ever-present threat. Isn’t that a trick life plays on us?
By Johana Torres11 days ago in Psyche
PAPER THIN. Content Warning. AI-Generated.
Raffaelo learned the rhythm of cruelty before she learned its intention. It arrived dressed as humor, wrapped in familiarity, passed hand to hand at family gatherings like a shared inheritance. Buffalo. A word chosen not for meaning but for sound, because it rhymed, because it landed easily, because no one had to think before saying it. Her parents said it with smiles, squeezing her cheeks, proud of how unbothered they believed she was. They never noticed how her laughter came a second too late, how she began standing at the edges of rooms as if apologizing for occupying them.
By Designed by Romaisa12 days ago in Psyche
