Latest Stories

Most recently published stories in Psyche.

My Experience with Relationships & BPD
Relationships from friendships & love, but sometimes the lines blur, of course because for many of us with borderline, our response to relationships is never great.
By Emma Pilgrim8 years ago in Psyche
Living With Depression
I have depression. And no, I do not mean the "casual sadness" that tends to hit some of us during the holidays, or even that of which hits us whenever something saddening happens in our lives. I have depression, full blown, clinical depression. But what exactly then is depression, if not just being sad a bunch, you ask? Why can I not just go outside more, take some vitamins, exercise and socialize more, that would help, would it not? The best way I can explain it is that it is not that easy. Depression is the constant and severe feeling that you are not good enough and that you never will be good enough. In fact, it convinces you that you never really were good enough in the first place. Depression is a loss of hope, a loss of courage, a loss of a will to live. It is a festering, nagging feeling that cannot be shaken so easily. Sure, I could go outside more, take my vitamins, "get help." But those are all just temporary, short-term fixes to a prominent, long-term problem. Even after trying all of those things, I would still have those terrible thoughts in the back of my mind, I would still have depression.
By Arielle Adornetto8 years ago in Psyche
What Can Be Done..?
This is where I begin. I've always loved and had a passion for writing, and I use to be really good at expressing myself through metaphors and scattered adjectives, but recently I've lost my flow. When I was born I was an innocent Caterpillar that's just emerged from pure safety and tossed into an unforgiving, torturous, beautiful, amazing, and dreadful reality. I wasn't always like this. I didn't always talk about the miserable part of life, because I never wanted to believe it could happen. I stayed quiet and I never did drugs, I never talked back, and I did the best I could. I wanted to feel accomplished and make my parents proud to have me for a daughter.
By Kay Worth8 years ago in Psyche
A Conundrum of Anxiety and Depression
There is so much that can be said about mental illnesses. I mean, I can go on and on about it, but there are two specific ones that I want to personally elaborate on. They are anxiety and depression. I feel like both affect people in different ways but have the same end result: sadness.
By Elysia Taylor 8 years ago in Psyche
What I've Learned: Four Days in the Mental Health Ward
"You're only sixteen, what makes your life so bad that you want to die?" The red, rough hospital gown scratched my knees; unshaved calves prickled my cracked palms. I kept my hair over my face as my nurse attempted to engage in the long dreaded conversation,
By A Z8 years ago in Psyche
How My Anxiety Ruined My Life
When I was in elementary school I have a distinct memory of sitting in my fifth grade class and out of nowhere I just felt...weird. My heart began to beat like crazy, I felt hot all over, almost like my body was becoming engulfed in flames. Though I was sitting still, I felt as though my body was vibrating. All around I felt an uneasy sense of something not being right. I was nine years old. I didn’t know what was happening to me.
By Jade Melling8 years ago in Psyche
Living with Borderline Personality Disorder - the Diagnosis
It took a lot out of me to muster up the courage to make it to my therapy appointment on time. By the time I had gotten dressed, the anxiety of leaving the house had set in. The lurking thoughts of my fear of driving —thanks to my car accident earlier in the year — caused my heart to race. It did not stop pounding on the trip across town, not even as I arrived, only intensified as I entered the behavioral health office. Step one, check, I told myself. I made it to the office. Without making eye contact with the receptionist, I checked in and flipped through our local newspaper (supplied by the office) to try to ease my anticipation. The therapist called my name, led me to her office, and closed the door behind me; not only ensuring my legally-required privacy, but sealing me inside her office to unleash my life story and traumas in what should have taken an hour… but dragged on well past two. She took a long time to think and write down my experiences.
By Jess Didway8 years ago in Psyche
Panic Attack of a Different Size
Some people don’t understand panic attacks, or even how real they are. Some people understand them too well. When they started happening to me years ago I actually had no idea what was happening. Little things would set me off and my family wouldn’t understand why I was freaking out over it so badly.
By Brooke N8 years ago in Psyche
Avoiding Burnout
Imagine coming home from a long shift at work. It’s dark, quiet and your bed is finally calling your name. It’s so comfortable, but no sooner does your head hit the pillow, you hear the tiny little screams of “Mommy!” This is my life as a mother of 3, soon to be 4 children (all boys) under 6 years of age, while working two jobs overnight, going to school and volunteering by day. It is exhausting being spread so thin, and yet still having so many things to do and goals to work on in the future. I have had too many episodes of burn out to count, once leading to a huge mental breakdown that actually landed me in a psychiatric hospital for a little over a week. Since then, I have learned how important it is to take some time to recharge my own batteries.
By Jessa Mae8 years ago in Psyche
Silent Killer
Searching the internet to find out what is the easiest, most efficient way, to commit suicide, isn’t what I thought I’d be doing at the age of 19. When you're 6 years old, and your teacher asks what you want to be when you grow up, my mind didn’t race to having clinical depression and Googling how many of my antidepressants would it take to end my life. And yet there I was. At my lowest. Sobbing uncontrollably for the millionth time in my kitchen floor, hoping that I could cry out all the pain. For it all to stop.
By Starry Eyed8 years ago in Psyche
Lacking the X-Mas Spirit
Los Angeles, CA The twinkling lights, cold wind, and short days. All signs representing that time of year. Now normally, with all the hot chocolate and Christmas movies running on a never-ending cycle, the holiday spirit would have already hit and give a feeling of warmth and happiness. As for now, life still feels a little lack-luster even if those twinkling lights try to ignite something from within. Although you'd love to enjoy the festivities, you can't quite seem to feel as dazzled as everyone else might be. You might be thinking that it just hasn't hit you yet, but with each passing day, that feeling never really shows up.
By Jennafer Viera8 years ago in Psyche
What Anxiety is to Me - 2
Another pivotal moment in my life. I used to play softball in high school, I was a first-baseman and could do everything behind the plate. But as you know, my anxiety was terrible in high school. In my sophomore year, I decided to quit. I was struggling too much with my anxiety — more specifically social anxiety. I decided I wouldn't play in the summer program or the next year. I needed to take a break to figure out my anxiety.
By Madie Alessi8 years ago in Psyche