Latest Stories

Most recently published stories in Psyche.

Intentionally Alone
Avoid SAD by being intentionally alone this winter Effectively, that shallow, but still hollow feeling you might get once a year— especially in the cold winter months — very well could be classified as seasonal affective disorder.
By Megan Ehrhardt8 years ago in Psyche
Sleepless Night
I know I'm not alone in this struggle that consumes me randomly, this struggle to find sleep. I know it exists and I know that I should be tired after the long day being up and working hard and yet I seem to be more willing to fight sleep than to submit to it.
By Tim Lawson8 years ago in Psyche
Musings of a Mental Mind
It seems so simple to those living on the outside living with mental illness isn't an excuse they say. Not caring that some days it's hard just to drag myself out of bed. I have heard it all my entire life. “It's all in your head,” they say. Yet they don't see the demons constantly following me. Mentally I am trapped and unable to escape the mental hell I live in everyday.
By Silver Voranjin8 years ago in Psyche
Depression Doesn't Have to be Postpartum!
Yes, I just recently had a baby. Yes, I’m depressed as fuck. No, I DO NOT have postpartum depression. Postpartum Depression is depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue. I’m already a mother, so there’s not much of a psychological adjustment needed there, and sure I’m tired and fatigued, but I was more tired and fatigued before the baby was born due to a pregnancy induced liver disease (Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy, or ICP for short) that made me constantly itch all over my body. I actually sleep better now that the baby is born. Oh yes, the hormones are plenty, but they aren’t all bad. Oxytocin isn’t bad. The hormones are not making me depressed either, although I blame those for the waterworks that occur during sappy commercials and the sentimental sadness I experience when I think about my babies growing up on me.
By Jessa Mae8 years ago in Psyche
The Black Depression
It's no secret that the African American community has been racially targeted for years on end. From the way we dressed and our Ebonics we spoke, to the way we only listen to "black people music" and everything else in between. But, what about our mental state?
By Brock Hanley8 years ago in Psyche
The Weeds I've Watered
Like millions of other human beings, I too struggle with mental illness. I've battled with depression and multiple anxiety disorders since I was a child. At the ripe age of 12, I started therapy. I had an almost unbreakable bond with my therapists. Since my family couldn't grasp my struggles, and I have a small amount of friends, I had no outlet. But, going to therapy gave me a voice, and skills that I can use for the rest of my life. The skills were like flowers in bloom, they filled my mind with color and beauty in the midst of the black and white.
By Lauren Harrington8 years ago in Psyche
PTSD
I am going to start by telling you my story is a little harsh. My story starts with me being friends with my ex, still talking and being friendly with him, still hanging out with him and our friends. To this day, I still ask myself why I was still friends with him, but each time I ask myself I never get an answer. But this story takes a turn for the worst. My ex called me one day over the summer and asked if I would meet him and some of our friends at an abandoned house to drink and get high. I agreed and went to the house, but when I got there it was just him. I asked him where everyone else was and he told me they were on their way. I believed him and we sat and drank waiting for the rest of our friends to show up. When it started getting dark I told my ex that I had to go, but here is where it turns dark. My ex grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down to the ground. He got on top of me and ripped open my shirt and pulled down my shorts and underwear. He pinned my arms above my head and shoved his penis inside of me, hard. He continued until he finished he then got up and threw my clothes at me. He left, and I sat and cried for what felt like forever, but I eventually got up and left. After that, I had to see him at school for the next two years of high school. I never went to the police, mostly because I was scared that it might go to court. But from that day on I have never been the same; I have nightmares, night sweats, and night terrors. I am currently in a relationship and am trying to move forward, but it is very hard. My current boyfriend is very understanding and is there for me when I really need him. I have never seen a therapist or a counselor for this, even though it would help. Being able to get this out to maybe help others feels good. I now know that instead of being scared I should have gone to the police. I shouldn’t have let him get away with want he did to me. PTSD is what I live with now; it is hard to live with, but I push through each day. I also have bad depression, and that makes it a lot harder, but I keep pushing through. My story may not be what people first think of when they hear PTSD, but my story has left me with pretty bad PTSD. And it has taken a big toll on my life, and my relationship. My ex still thinks he did nothing to me, but what he did has turned my life upside down and I can’t get that day out of my head. My ex has a life of his own, a beautiful girlfriend, a good job, and his own place, but with what he did to me I have nightmares, night terrors, and night sweats. My life is so much harder because of what he did to me. My relationship even suffers sometimes because of what he did to me. And if anyone takes anything from this, I hope it is not to be scared when someone hurts you, and to go straight to the cops and let them put the person that hurt you behind bars.
By Bianca Johnson8 years ago in Psyche
Suicidal Thoughts
I want to talk about suicidal thoughts. I think they are serious and soul crushing. I’ve never had such strong suicidal thoughts the way I’ve had this year. It’s been the worst by far; let me explain why. Every morning I wake up and I literally just feel lifeless. Throughout my entire day, I imagine it, and I see it in my head. Every scenario I could ever run into and how it could hurt or kill me. For example, I’d be at work carrying dirty plates and seeing a knife sticking towards me; I'd think, “what if someone ran into me and it penetrates right through me?” I then imagine the scenario actually happen, and sadly, it makes me smile.
By Amanda Damico8 years ago in Psyche
The Struggles of an Empathetic Bipolar
Close your eyes, now imagine you are extremely on top of the world happy, like that feeling when you have accomplished something that you worked your ass off for. Maybe it is a job promotion? Or a top score on a test? Pr that person you have had a crush on for ever finally asks you out. You feel unstoppable, extremely happy, and proud of yourself. Now all of a sudden a huge billowing wave of emotion crashes through you.
By Jessica Daugherty8 years ago in Psyche
The Beautiful Curse of Agoraphobia
It was not uncommon for me to not leave the house for weeks on end and it was not uncommon for me to avoid going outside completely. Total isolation from everything was not uncharted territory for me and actually was a natural occurrence in my life. The need to do this constantly over shadowed any reason that could occurred for me to venture outside or leave the house. I guess it became common for me to put this exigency above anything, anybody and everyone. For example, today I skipped school again.
By Reid8 years ago in Psyche
Anxiety at Its Finest
For everyone who lives everyday with anxiety, know you are not alone. You act not yourself or are fearful of everything around you. I am one that have to live with it everyday. It is not something I want to have in life, but it is something you must learn to manage. Recently I have gone to group counselling, learning about mindfulness and self-compassion. It is a learning curve, to learn to live with anxiety everyday. Be as positive as you can, keep your head up high; move forward and don’t look back. Live in the now and not the past. Your life matters; only you can be the judge to fix you the way you want to. I have recently downloaded an app and have started meditating. It has been helping me in the moment, and that is all you can hope for. Treatment is a long process that is never ending.
By Danielle Leopold8 years ago in Psyche
How We All Live in a Depressed World
Those days you wake up and would like to scream but realise you have no voice so an inner voice from inside yourself screams itself allowing yourself to feel better. This situation does not allow yourself to leave but you really have to be strong enough to allow it to leave. It is like you do not want it to leave but then you do. It all starts off with a feeling of slight loneliness which you try to erase. However, after a few days you realise there is nothing to erase as it was not just a thought but a true fact. This intense feeling makes you believe that there is no one and that you are truly alone. Alone from the inside of your heart to the outside of your soul. It is hard to believe but this feeling comes to a lot of people once in a lifetime and it is about time to share this feeling with the entire world. People experiencing depression will relate to this because it will allow yourself to awaken as it is not the best place to be in at any point of your life. You start to question everything in your entire life, the good that you have done and the bad that you have committed. When deep down you know that good is good and bad is bad but you still end up questioning the good to make yourself feel better. Sadly, it does not work and you start to realise that nothing in this entire life makes you feel happy. This feeling can occur to anyone at any age and its very depressing when you are young and have to go through all this. I guess it is a sad fact that allows you to understand the concept of reality.
By Z K8 years ago in Psyche