Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
When a Diagnosis Hits You Like a Freight Train
It was March of 2013 when I received the news, "You have primary sclerosing cholangitis." I had been experiencing intense abdominal pain the previous few weeks, had to call in sick for work multiple times, and had so many procedures and tests done to confirm the diagnosis. All my husband and I knew at the time was that PSC was a progressive liver disease that would one day most likely require a liver transplant (which I received in May 2016).
By Bethany Atkinson-Pegors8 years ago in Psyche
Help Me, I'm Drowning: My Life With GAD
"I can't breathe, dad, I can't breathe." These words were so painful to speak as I cried out to my dad while going through another panic attack. Tears were streaming down my face like a fast river current. My chest was on fire, my throat was raw from crying, and I just felt like I was suffocating and my heart would just explode and give out. I felt like I was dying. My mind was racing with a million thoughts going through my head, but all I remember now is wanting it to stop, for the pain to stop and for me to be able to breathe again. Eventually, I was able to. But like all mental illness, it was trial and error to find what worked and what didn't. That's what I am here to tell you now.
By Sierra George8 years ago in Psyche
When It's "All in Your Head"
I had my first major panic attack a week before I graduated from college. I was at work and it was ten minutes before closing. I had worked a 6 hour shift and my legs were tired but I was happy. I was leaving soon and there was nobody in the store (though, in retail, that can change in a matter of seconds). I was going through returns when, suddenly, I felt it.
By Cassie Valencia8 years ago in Psyche
A Beautiful Mess Who I Like to Call Me
I had a beautiful childhood with parents who loved me to the point that I started to believe there was truly no one else in the world like me. Life beat me down a bit and I lost that belief for awhile; however it all came full circle and I know that I am a special kind of beautiful. When I talk about beauty, I'm speaking of beauty that comes from resilience. I'm talking about beauty that comes from feeling so low you never thought you would get back up from the depths of hell... But you did. Let me explain. I was a happy child with a brother who was my best friend. I was outgoing and involved in numerous activities in school. This continued until about middle school. When I was 11 going on 12 years old, I experienced my first bout of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I didn't know at the time what that even was or that I had this disorder. I began having thoughts that terrified me and compulsions I had no control over, such as washing my hands to the point they cracked and bled. These feelings and actions had sunken me into the deepest, darkest hole of depression. I was sleeping to escape and in my waking hours my thoughts would torture my soul. I suffered this way up until high school and then I had to do something.
By Krista Kovatch8 years ago in Psyche
Anxiety During Pregnancy
Before pregnancy, I was already dealing with a lot of anxiety. I can say that it started around high school because that is when I moved from New Hampshire to New Jersey—a completely different state where I did not know anyone and had to start new with everything. On top of that, high school is a time where you develop physically, when boys are interested and you're also interested. You get more school work and, above all, you get insecure. You start to learn who you are and that people judge over the smallest things. Of course, I never took my anxiety seriously because I was young and thinking it would pass eventually.
By Kimberly Castillo8 years ago in Psyche
Feeling Like a Burden
I feel like such a burden. I have my problems, my agitative depression, my uneven serotonin levels, my yelling in my room I try desperately to curb. I use humor, venting through writing, busying myself with tasks, focusing on the cuteness of my cat, crying it out, anything I can think of to stop myself from being this yelling monster that disturbs others by her yelling.
By Alexandra F8 years ago in Psyche
Sadness All Around
It's the holiday season, time for happiness and cheer, right? Well, maybe not for everyone. I know I find it hard lately to find more than a fleeting glimpse of the cheer I once felt this time of year. Instead, I feel the dark hold of sadness creeping in on me, on my mood, and into my soul.
By Tim Lawson8 years ago in Psyche
In and Out: My Year in the Asylum. Top Story - December 2017.
"I would rather die than live here." Those were the words that I spoke to my Dad when my BPD was at its worst, after a long night of arguing and endless fighting, I was tired. Looking back I don't even remember what caused my distress, the only thing I do remember is feeling forsaken by the people that I loved and that my life no longer held any meaning to me, I was alone with a shattered glass heart and I wanted my pain and suffering to end once and for all.
By Sierra George8 years ago in Psyche
Plans Changing With Borderline Personality Disorder
Those with BPD can be impulsive. We may go out and spend all our money on new clothes. We may gamble it all away. We might suddenly decide to drive down a motorway at 3 o clock in the morning without a seatbelt.
By Shaye Goodenough8 years ago in Psyche
Medicated: My Life on ADHD Medication
I was diagnosed with inattentive type attention deficit hyperactivity disorder when I was 11 years old in South Carolina by a local psychologist. My parents were desperate for answers of why their daughter, who was an average student with good grades, was failing the seventh grade and facing summer school if things remained unchanged. Once the diagnosis came the meds came soon after.
By Sierra George8 years ago in Psyche
