Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
Depression and Memory Loss
Memory loss when suffering with depression is a common occurrence that many have gone through, including me. There have been many times where I've been with friends discussing past experiences and have tried to remember specific details and everything is just a blur.
By Becky Street7 years ago in Psyche
The Tragedy of Relapse
When you're spiralling so fast, your mind cant keep up. Dizzy, entranced, and then it hits you. At 8AM, when you find yourself pulling apart a razor to free the blade while sitting in the bathtub, it hits you. And you're holding the false remedy to a day you can't seem to see the end to between your thumb and finger, frozen in spot, knowing that this isn't a slip-up in recovery. You've drifted back to a place where you can't cope—a place you need to heal from quickly, because you are running out of options.
By Elle White 7 years ago in Psyche
Sixteen
Just the sight of him that day gave me a feeling, and I knew. I was getting off the school bus when I noticed him a few feet up the road. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach and a cloud swooped over my head. I didn't call out to him, or chase after him. I just walked. Frankly because I wasn't even certain if that was him on his way home that early in the day when he should have been at work, but also because if that was him I knew something was wrong, or something will be.
By Diana De La Cruz7 years ago in Psyche
Living with Mental Illness
When I was younger, I never thought I’d be the one standing in front of others, talking about what I’ve gone through. I never imagined myself uttering the words "I’m diagnosed with depression and anxiety" to a classroom full of my peers, but here I am, saying exactly that.
By Piper Schilling7 years ago in Psyche
You'll Never Take My Sanity! Part 2
Have a look at the photo above, if you will. Then go take a peak at my previous journal—it's the same photo. But it looks different, doesn't it? It's a bit more colourful, because I increased the saturation on it since last time. Otherwise, it's exactly the same—but it seems so different. Mental health issues have a way of doing the same thing—anyone who has them knows this. Those who don't have them have a hard time understanding it—I know this because I was one of the lucky few who never had any issues until the last couple of years (although, as you read through these journals, you'll find that this may not be actually true). Hence, the example.
By Justin Foley7 years ago in Psyche
The Silent Struggle
I lost the things I enjoyed most during the height of my eating disorder. I was a writer. I used to be praised by my English and literature teacher for my writing skills in high school, but when my eating disorder fully held me captive during junior year, I could no longer find the words to write. My body was shutting down and my mind became foggy all the time. School became increasingly difficult for me, a previously straight-A student.
By Emily Nichols7 years ago in Psyche
Social Identity Crisis Intervention
Why are you still sitting there all by yourself? Why are you shutting the world completely out? You hide your face but nobody wants it hidden. They want to fully see it; not just through a partial view. They want to see you as you completely are without any cover-ups or false truths of someone that you always try your best to imitate. They are not the real you. You are always worried about what other people think and stay sore, afraid in your insecurities. You are jealous when other people win, making it so they won't win again, and you always lose. I mean, why should anyone else have a great day when you live to stay miserable? You can hardly stand to see someone smile or have a skip to their step. It makes you sick inside and your heart continues to harden. You begin to dislike them and then you start to build a barrier between you and them. They're no longer your friend on social media and they can't figure out what went wrong and why the friendship no longer exists. Yet you don't panic about it because you obviously don't care. Your mindset is all that matters and what you think they think about you. Because to you, that's the real truth regardless of anyone else's opinion and it will stay that way until the end. You move on with your life but you tell the people that are closest to you that no one likes you and you innocently act like you can't figure it out. The whole thing has you completely stunned but deep inside you know the truth. There are many days you blame God for it, though you say you love Him. You not only point your fingers at Him but also your accusers. You had nothing to do with this and it's never your fault; it's always someone else's. But they will pay for it in the end. Their pain justifies your existence and for you, that’s a great day. You always hope they never smile again and their soul be damned at least for the moment. Your heart is bitter but you feel you have the bigger one and it's humanity as a whole that’s really against you. You believe are your only friend but not every day. There are some days that you despise yourself too and you don't know why you continue living. You feel you were once a somebody and the role you played defined who you were but you lost it. You feel someone took it away but you let them end it. As a matter of fact, it was you that let them do it. You got tired of trying and you lost confidence and stopped loving yourself. And now you lay for days with your head in hand on the ground wishing the world would stop turning. You hope that today doesn't turn into tomorrow and you loathe change in your life. As a matter of fact, you despise it. You don't believe there's a good future for you because you don't gave a good pair of binoculars to look into tomorrow. You think every day that tomorrow may never come and you will never find your true self again and that frightens you. So you stay living in this protected bubble making sure you never get hurt again as you live your life in someone else's eyes. It makes you feel great for a day or a week and life doesn't seem so bad for the moment but there lies your true identity in the lost and found box waiting and longing to be picked up by you. You know it's there but you don't know how to go over and grab it because you don't believe that it's the real you anymore and you feel everything is lost.
By Kathy Lester7 years ago in Psyche
My Mental Health Journey
I feel like most people talk about mental health journeys like it's a linear experience—you start off with a problem and wind up "cured." My journey is far from that. This is the second time I've REALLY suffered with my mental well-being. The first time, I got some drugs and did some online therapy, and the doctors seemed to think I was better. I think I was fed up of talking about how I felt rather than feeling "better" and so I let that fizzle out. Two years later I'm back at square one, or maybe I'm about 50 steps behind that... who knows.
By Helen Houghton7 years ago in Psyche
'Today' A Short Story
Today I wear grey on top of grey, which shows the true blandness and pain I feel, with every inch of creativity ripped away. I feel as if my heart has been taken away, stolen by the same people that put worse people with others, even though they are not lonely and hold weaker morals. It hurts, seeing so many others with someone, and yourself not getting a shred of hope, happiness, or warmth.
By The Neon Hunter7 years ago in Psyche
Stop the Stigma
You know in the cartoons where the character has a mini “Angel” on one shoulder and a mini “Devil” on the other? Well picture that, expect one of them is named “Anxiety” and will not stop tapping his foot in your ear, and the other is named “Depression” and sighs despondently whenever you refuse to acknowledge him. Welcome to my head. All the time. Every day. Well…most days. Between therapy and developing a deeper understanding of mental illness I have made some improvements.
By Rowan Flores7 years ago in Psyche
The Feeling of Depression
Have you ever wondered what depression feels like? Not the doctor definition of emotional turmoil with manic behavior. The truth. The physical and mental torment it lashes out with. The control it has over someone's life. This is my journey. Welcome to my depression:
By Kyrsta Morehouse7 years ago in Psyche
