Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
The Darker Mind
"The real meaning of enlightenment is to gaze with undimmed eyes on all darkness." — Nikos Kazantzakis. The darker mind is a misleading term, as it implies singularity. The darker mind is a split one, always, with no exception. It isn’t to be confused with an evil one, those can be single-minded, just as the spiritual and kind ones can be. The dark mind is the one that left the game and watched their peers continue on with joy and intent, wondering, do they know this is a game? This kind of mind is cynical and dreams of complete self-sufficiency, yet depends on substances that alter emotions. They hate people, love women. A darker mind will struggle to sleep at night and beg for rest during the day. While with a partner, these people will itch at the thought of marriage as it screams constriction, but they’ll understand it on a one night stand. It’s a lonely life to be this kind of person; you’ll question your every decision and dance somewhere between art and practicality, and only have enough to give either side half their heart. The lucky ones choose, the really lucky ones find success, some even after death as is the fate of many painters. The musicians with the darker mind find the most success, they make the art form that is the fastest to affect the soul, but even then, some of them don’t see twenty-eight. The unlucky ones, the majority, have varied life issues such as addiction and many other predictable things. Some of them live and die in dead-end jobs and fail at home to create or care or feel.
By Kurtis Pryde7 years ago in Psyche
Theft of Depression
Depression is like a thief in the night. As if someone broke into my home and robbed me of my happiness. Sometimes it even feels as if I'll never be able to feel joy again. I used to think it was because I wasn't popular or because I didn't have many friends, but as I grew older I realized it was much bigger than that. It was as if a thief had stolen my purse and took off running. I'd try so hard to run after the thief as fast as I could to take back what was mine. My purse. My happiness. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch him.
By Sleepless inStLouis7 years ago in Psyche
Crack Through the Darkness
It was the first kiss of sunlight over the horizon that kept me from moving that morning. I was curled up in the chair on my balcony, sipping on my coffee. Two sugars, and a little too much cream that morning. My dog, Autumn, paced next to me to let me know she really wanted breakfast. I couldn't, however, seem to draw my eyes away from the sunrise. It had me believing that somehow I could also be blessed by this sunlight and start over. I started knowing that if I stood there long enough the sun would crack through my darkness, shuffle it away into a corner, and I could be something new again.
By Lauren Swain7 years ago in Psyche
Mental Illness Is a Silent Killer
"I feel anxious and sad all of the time I don't know how to make it stop." This is a statement a friend of mine said to me a week ago. I listened quietly as stoic and silent tears fell from her face. She stumbled over her words as she tried to tell me what she was experiencing. Going through my own struggle with depression and anxiety I could empathize. I listened patiently to her talk about what she was feeling. Despite having a good job and a loving family, she just could not help the way she was feeling or what to do about it. However, when disclosing the sadness and anxiety she was feeling, they (her family) couldn't understand. I told her this is not because they did not care, I told her that they may feel a sense of panic and shame and did not know how to help.
By Janelle Ouellet7 years ago in Psyche
Mania, Roller Coasters, and Plates
Hi, (if you are new here) I'm Amanda and I have bipolar depression. I'm starting to notice my symptoms of when I'm having a manic episode. This is not something I have been able to do in the past. I would only notice I was manic after the fact.
By Amanda Brueckner7 years ago in Psyche
The Stigma and the Unattainable Notion of Normal
I have a different family dynamic. My brother, whom I love with every ounce of my being but simultaneously get annoyed by, is on the spectrum. The “spectrum” is a tricky thing, because I can’t quite explain what end he’s on, or how far left or right he is. I just know that there’s something slightly off, as there always has been, which leaves me as the normal child. Me—normal—yikes.
By Shara Faith7 years ago in Psyche
Sewer Slide
Much like Hagrid's aversion to saying Voldemort's name, suicide is a hard word to vocalize for me, like something evil you dare not speak into existence. It's not a word that should be glamorized or romanticized and though, "I'm going to kill myself," is probably a catch-phrase that everyone has used in some ironic jest at life. Suicide is in no way humorous. The first time I ever said it, I was 11. As I floated face down in the family pool, I could hear mother's mocking tone to my brother, "Look, she's going to kill herself"—and they kept walking. I survived, clearly, and I understand why she ignored my cry for attention, but what if I had died. Maybe I did. Maybe this life is a reboot. Like Groundhog Day, I'm sure I have lived this life before. I've heard that some Eastern religions believe that if you take your own life, you are destined to repeat it, bound to the same, until you get it right. Only then can your soul grow, to move on toward enlightenment. Well, I'm sure that somewhere along the timeline of my life, or lives past, my end was met by suicide.
By Traci Reason7 years ago in Psyche
Mentally Damaged
Sunflowers make me happy. The brightness of them remind me that there is light in a world so dark. Though your darkness may be a lot different to mine. My mental instability keeps me in the dark. I know that I’m not but I feel pathetic, like I’m worthless and not good. I hurt those around me, especially the ones I love most. Obviously not physically but words hurt, too.
By Becca Kemp7 years ago in Psyche
