Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
Shell Evacuation
Like most millennials, I have been (1) conditioned by my family to prioritize security and (2) conditioned by society to please myself only when it doesn't displease others. I have “Do NOT rock the boat” tattooed on the inside of my brain. This is an important backdrop to the events of Summer 2020, when my life, like many others’, was a flat line with very few bumps. My bumps were: applying to Counseling Psychology PhD programs and living with a domineering, incessantly social roommate.
By Laura Kastner5 years ago in Psyche
To Bee or Not to Bee
WARNING: Themes of suicide are discussed. I have a garden overgrown and full of wildflowers. Bees of all sorts visit it daily. They bounce from one flower to the next, occasionally bumping into a leaf or another bee that has gotten in their way. The sharp “BZZZ!” that follows as they swirl in the air amuses me as they attempt to regain their path. This is what fills the pages of my sketchbook: wildflowers from the garden and their devoted little bees. Nothing more than what I see.
By Autumn Schmidt5 years ago in Psyche
How Mother's Day Makes Me Feel: Sharing my Grief and Sadness for the First Time
Sharing my grief and sadness for the first time is difficult and scary! Today is Mother’s Day and I’m sad and grieving. I’m sad because I don’t have my children. I should clarify, my children don’t live in my home and have never visited me here. I feel sad because Mother’s Day used to be a day that was celebrated with my children. They usually planned something special, you know, breakfast in bed, brunch, new flowers for the garden. I have these memories, as I’m sure other Mothers do as well.
By Felice Pawlowski5 years ago in Psyche
Steering with Scissors: A social worker’s story
King Arthur has Excalibur, Thor has his hammer, Glenda has her wand and Harold has his purple crayon. My superpower is using creativity in my journey through life’s hills and valleys, its twists and turns. And I have my scissors to help me accomplish that.
By Beth Imperial-Rogers5 years ago in Psyche
Doodling Against Depression
When I was twenty years old, I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. It is a smaller subset of psychotic disorder that is a mixture between Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia. I was at the time an active duty Marine who knew my career was over. I was ashamed of my actions that had come about during my psychotic episodes. I was barely human, I couldn't put together coherent sentence together to explain how I was feeling and what I was seeing. I had auditory hallucinations that told me to kill myself or other people I would see. I was in and out of inpatient care and I did not want to live anymore. I was put into a program that helped military personel who had developed psychiatric problems while in service to help us with the transition into civilian life. One piece of the program was we had mandatory classes we were sent to try to find hobbies to help with stress and depression. I chose to take a meditation class as well as an art class. My meditation teacher was a very sweet lady from Brazil. She would teach us many breathing methods and at the end of class she would lead us in a guided meditation. This class was very helpful in giving me a chance to gain my bearings for the day. Shortly after the meditation group I went to an art class. In this class I got to play around with many different forms of art and fell in love with abstract art. I felt as if I could explain to people how I felt in that moment, even if I was suicidal I could express it. After many months of being in this program I was addmitted once again to the inpatient wing. I had expressed to the Marine on Duty that weekend that I had no will to live another day and I wanted real help or I would follow through with my own demise. He sat with me in the emergency room for hours. I was feeling awkward and vulnerable and he asked if I had any hobbies. I told him I had played football in high school and liked to go hiking but I was not able to do these things anymore due to being involved in the program for so long. He expressed to me that he loved photography. It was something I never expected from such a big strong man, who until this day had always been mean to me. He showed me his social media posts from all of his photoshoots. He would go on long walks in nature and take shots of the scenes he came across. He had many pictures from the San Diego Zoo as well. I could tell that he was truly in love with his hobby he had found and was jealous of his luck to find his passion. He was interested in my visual hallucinations and asked me if I could draw. I told him that I liked to paint a little bit but it was very abstract and looked horrible to be completely honest. He told me that I should try my hardest to paint or draw what I see on a weekly basis and that I would get better with practice. I took him up on that offer and I have found my strange doodles to be very helpful in showing people in my life what I see without feeling ashamed of my inability to convey those hallucinations orally. I have sold several of these doodles not enough to make a living, but enough to feel as if a few people out there understand what I go through just a tiny bit without having my flavor of mental illness. Whenever I am down in the dumps, my doodles have helped me through it. I am now married with three children, even though my depression, paranoia, and PTSD are still present in my life. There is hope that I can make the dark days a little bit brighter and keep pushing on one day at a time for my family and for myself. Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings.
By Noah Brownlee5 years ago in Psyche
Creative Beginnings
Under the New Moons light all of the stars are aligned, and the crown has been balanced by a pristine cut and fully charged Crystal. Silence is found, and balance is created. Your eyelids fall like wet sand bags as your body erects to an upright ninety-degree angle. Your feet are planted firmly on the ground as you rest your back on the suede black arm chair. You begin to relax in your seat as you receive the energy from the Clear Quartz Crystal, our circle of trust has now been created, and you are now ready to fully receive the energy of the Crystal. Our journey begins. Breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth the entire body begins to feel free and unrestricted. Clear quartz has granted you clarity and you are open to move forward. As the Moon Light White of the Quartz Crystal is illuminated a pale violet aura circles its luminescence.
By Keia Thomas5 years ago in Psyche
House of Stars
I am surrounded by stars. Small ones, large ones. A glittering rainbow kaleidoscope of stars. Silver, gold, black, white, grey. Glow in the dark, pastel pale, neon bright, shimmering rushes of stars. Violet, aqua, copper, pearl white and midnight black. A hundred shades of pink, a thousand shades of blue, and everything in between. Some are monochromatic. Some are woven from wild color combinations, or cobbled from charming patterns. Cherry blossoms, plaids, hearts, raindrops, roses. Stars made of stars themselves. I dream in stars.
By Karin Kempert5 years ago in Psyche
