Inside My Mind: What No One Ever Saw
A raw journey through overthinking, emotional exhaustion, and learning to understand my own thoughts before they destroyed me.
There’s a world inside me no one ever sees.
From the outside, I look calm. Maybe even strong. I smile when I’m supposed to. I nod. I say “I’m good” on autopilot. And most people believe me — because I’ve made it believable.
But inside?
It’s loud.
It’s heavy.
It’s full of thoughts I never invited.
The Noise No One Hears
My mind doesn’t rest.
It replays conversations, questions decisions, overanalyzes silence.
It wonders:
Did I say too much?
Did I say enough?
Did I mess it all up again?
Even when I’m trying to enjoy the moment, a part of me stands in the background — narrating, judging, doubting.
It’s exhausting.
But it’s invisible.
And that’s the hardest part.
When You’re Your Own Prisoner
There were days I felt like I was drowning — not in water, but in thoughts.
Overthinking wasn’t just a habit; it was my home.
I couldn’t make decisions without doubting myself five times.
I couldn’t relax without guilt creeping in.
I couldn’t celebrate anything — because my mind always asked,
“What if it doesn’t last?”
I was trapped. Not by circumstances. But by my own mind.
And no one knew.
Smiling on the Outside, Breaking on the Inside
I became really good at hiding it.
I wore busyness like armor. I told jokes. I helped others. I said yes to everything — because keeping others happy distracted me from facing myself.
But late at night, when the world went quiet, the truth returned louder than ever.
That’s when I realized something painful:
I wasn’t living.
I was performing.
Performing sanity. Performing confidence. Performing okayness.
And I was tired.
The Moment I Broke — and Finally Breathed
I’ll never forget the night I let it all out.
I had a panic attack alone in my room. No obvious trigger — just years of bottled thoughts breaking through at once. I felt like my mind was folding in on itself. My chest was tight. My hands shook. I thought I was going crazy.
But strangely… in that breakdown, there was a breakthrough.
For the first time, I admitted:
“I can’t do this alone anymore.”
Choosing to Heal
That night didn’t fix everything. But it woke me up.
I started writing — not for anyone, just for me. I spilled every thought, no matter how irrational or messy. It was like opening a window in a suffocating room.
Then I started reading about anxiety. Mindfulness. Trauma. Psychology.
I realized my mind wasn’t broken — it was overwhelmed.
And it wasn’t the enemy — it was trying to protect me.
I just needed to understand it.
What Helped Me
Healing didn’t come in one big moment — it came in small, imperfect ones:
Breathing deep when I wanted to run.
Challenging the story in my head.
Noticing when my thoughts weren’t true — just loud.
Letting myself rest without guilt.
Talking to people who truly listened — and being brave enough to say, “I’m not okay.”
Slowly, I stopped fearing my mind — and started working with it.
The Power of Self-Awareness
Understanding your psyche is like learning a new language.
It takes patience.
It takes honesty.
And most of all, it takes kindness toward yourself.
I still overthink sometimes. I still get caught in mental loops. But now I notice them. I pause. I breathe. I remind myself:
“You’re not your thoughts. You’re the one witnessing them.”
The more I became aware of my thoughts, the more I began to notice patterns — old wounds disguised as fear, perfectionism rooted in past rejection, anxiety that wasn’t mine but inherited from years of survival. Self-awareness didn’t make the noise disappear completely, but it gave me a map through the chaos. I was no longer lost — I was learning. Every day I chose to observe instead of react, I reclaimed a piece of my peace.
Final Words: For Anyone Fighting a Silent Battle
If your mind feels like a maze you can’t escape…
If you feel tired but can’t sleep…
If your chest feels heavy even when nothing’s wrong…
You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re human.
Your mind is powerful — yes.
But so are you.
Don’t suffer in silence.
Talk. Write. Rest. Ask for help.
You don’t have to fix everything overnight — you just have to start listening.
Because once you understand what’s going on inside your mind,
you take back your power.
And that’s when healing begins.
About the Creator
Amin Turabi
I'm Amin Turabi, a curious mind with a passion for health and education. I write informative and engaging content to help readers live healthier lives and learn something new every day. Join me on a journey of knowledge and wellness!
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Comments (1)
I've been abused my whole life. I've been sexualy abused, physically abused, mentally abused, verbally abused. My mother used to tell my siblings that she loves them then look at me and say you know I hate you right. She used to tell me that my emotions didn't mean anything. She told me I'm worthless. She told me she doesn't care about what I have to say. She told me that crying was for babies. She would tell me to just shut up. To this day I'm still afraid to talk to anyone about anything. Heck I'm even afraid to just have a normal conversation with someone. I know there's a voice inside me that needs to speak up and be heard. But I don't know how to open up, I don't know how to just let it flow.