I Hate You

Dear Me,

I hate you.

I know that sounds harsh, but at least hear me out. You're nothing but an inconsistent trainwreck. Every week you have a new interest that never does anything for you. It's just another waste of time until you hate it and decide to pick something else up. Then again, I suppose you're consistent about that. Right?

And when it comes to working? You're terrible. Can't keep a job longer than a few months because you're too stupid to pass a test on guidelines every few months. The guidelines are simple and yet somehow you fail to understand them. But you're afraid to ask questions, afraid they'd laugh at you. Truth be told, they probably would. But what does it matter? You likely would've been fired or released from the projects due to some other idiot mistake.

As for your social life? What social life? No one wants to associate with you, and why would they? You're annoying and clingy, and they've told you as much. Sure, you back off, but the damage is already done. The whole city probably knows how weird you are at this point simply by word of mouth. So what's the point? And sheltering yourself inside doesn't help at all because you think of every single social mistake you've made. That's unfortunate, isn't it?

But this whole writing thing? That's been consistent for you, at least. Whether it's crappy fanfics or nerdy science fiction, you're nothing but consistent with it. The only downside is you'll never make a dime for it. You're terrible at it, and you know it. It's just a distraction for you that's gotten you absolutely nowhere in life. It's just something you use so you aren't thrown into a mental hospital for doing something drastic.

It's smart, I'll give you that. But maybe you'd be better off there or gone. No one would miss you and your stupidity. No one would miss your annoying questions or pointless facts you know for no reason. After all, where has any of that gotten us? You're just viewed as the weird fat girl who talks about nothing or is too quiet to be trusted.

The one thing I will say isn't your fault, is how people declare you as the "evil" one when you're merely reacting to their unwanted advances. They're the ones invading your personal space, making "jokes" you're uncomfortable with, and relentlessly teasing you despite your requests for them to stop. Truth be told, you should be more harsh. If a simple "leave me alone" or walking out is enough to get them to call you "evil", you should've shown them what you were truly capable of.

But you're too soft. You continue to let them walk all over you and make you out to be the bad guy for trying to defend yourself. And once they do? You cry about it which gets you nowhere. It doesn't solve the problem like a taste of their own medicine would. But why would I expect anything less from a nobody like you?

At this point, you deserve it.

I know everything I said is probably just as harsh as my opening statement, but it's all the truth. We were always good at brutal honesty when it came to ourselves. But when it came to other people? You never tell them what they need to hear. You just tell them what they want to hear, and that goes into why you're walked all over; why you're nothing but the ugly friend that's there to boost everyone's confidence.

That's all you ever were good for. That's why I hate you.

Thanks for nothing.